Illusions
by Askani Blue
Summary: Illusions were with Yukito and Touya from the begining. finished with prologue added
1. Prologue & Rain

  
Author's note: Yes yes, I know I've already rereleased this fic once, but bear with me. I'm only adding a prologue this time. I would put it in its own chapter but, then I would have to replace chapter one with it and then replace chapter two with chapter one and so forth. That would not only take forever, but it would utterly mess up the reivews that everyone was good enough to leave.  
  
So, I've just tacked it onto the begining of chapter one.   
  
The prologue wasn't there orginally mostly because until I wrote Looking Back, I was still considering taking the easy way out and ending the story there. Basicly the prologue wasn't writen in case the fic utterly sucked and thus I wouldn't have to torture anyone with 5 or 6 more chapters. I decided to add it after a reviewer suggested it and I agree that it did in fact need it. So, here you go.   
  
PS-  
  
Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.  
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  
  


Prologue

  
  
The gray permeated everything. An oppressive force that laid over him like a wet quilt, weighing him down as it blinded and deafened him. Of all the things he'd ever considered, even in his wildest nightmares, this gray was slowly becoming worse than them all. Numbed to the point that he could barely feel it when he struck his hands together, the sensory loss was far from the worst of it.   
  
Gliding in with deadly silence, the gray had begun to seep into his memories, washing them out with the neutral emptiness. Sitting in the vast nothingness, his knees drawn to his chest, Touya recited his memories one after the other, desperate not to forget but knowing it was inevitable.   
  
Moving his lips though not sure whether he was actually making noise, he went over everything he... couldn't forget... Absolutely... couldn't...   
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  
  


1

  
  
The rain was coming down rather hard. The puddles were deep now and the rivers along the road had reached a dangerous velocity, tearing away any hapless debris that wandered into the maelstrom. People hurried this way and that, huddled under umbrellas or newspapers. A few businessmen coming home either from a late night of work or an early night at the bars were shielding themselves from the sheets of water with their briefcases. A small group of elementary school girls were huddled under one big umbrella, waiting for the light to change at the corner. The tires of his bike threw up as much water as the clouds dropped down on him as Touya made his way back from his job at a nearby restaurant. Not nearby enough, though, as he was completely drenched. He was as wet as he could possibly get, so he wasn't really in any hurry. Rushing would only splash other people and get him home just as wet. Also, the rain itself felt odd.   
  
He couldn't explain it, so he never tried. His mother had understood when he'd said something felt wrong, or dangerous, or when he saw people that no else could. Unfortunately she was gone, and no one else could even begin to comprehend what he was trying to say. He had long since gotten tired of trying to explain. Touya didn't talk much; he didn't honestly see the point in it.   
  
He craned his head up, hoping to maybe see what was wrong with the rain that night, but saw nothing but streaks of water reflecting the light of the headlights and streetlights. Wrong wasn't the right word; it didn't feel wrong per se, just odd. Like it was charged. He felt like he was sitting at the top of the first hill on a roller coaster at the very moment before the cars go flying down, in the perfect silence that exists when the chains are no longer propelling the cars, but gravity has yet to pick up the job, either. That moment that just hangs there…, frozen.   
  
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up; whatever it was, it had him on edge. He was so busy looking above himself and thinking, that he'd effectively gotten himself completely turned around. He wasn't sure how but as he finally looked around, he realized he was near the train station. He'd managed to daydream himself to the opposite side of town. This was just great, he huffed to himself dejectedly; he'd been riding in the wrong direction for what had to be ten, fifteen minutes. He didn't think he'd ever felt as stupid in his whole life.   
  
With a rather virulent snarl on his lips, he pulled his bike over so he could turn around. This was a new level of brainlessness that he was not pleased to reach. How could he have gotten so turned around and not have noticed? Depressing the brakes, the shower of water from his tires lessened and he eventually lowered his feet to the concrete. He shoved some disobedient strands of hair from his face and began to turn the bike around. As he did, he looked up to glance at the crowd before him.   
  
Late commuters, people traveling to see family, and few kids that looked a bit out of place in the bustling sidewalk made their way from the terminal, briefcases, bags and such clutched to their chests in a futile attempt to protect them form the rain. Most darted to waiting cabs, cars of friends or family, leaving a few to look confused and uncertain. Perhaps they were looking for the ride that should have come to pick them up, or the landmark they were supposed to navigate by. Everyone was rushing to somewhere, and all and all the crowd wasn't that remarkable, they were everything you'd expect at this hour at a train station. Everyone but one. One "person" caught his eye, because it wasn't a person at all, or rather it wasn't a human person, and truth to tell, the more Touya watched it, he wasn't sure it had ever been human. The being looked _like_ a human boy, about his age. "He" was tiny and pale as a sheet, with white hair. He stood in the middle of the crowd looking extremely lost and had no baggage that Touya could see.   
  
Touya at first thought that a ghost had ended up at the train station (maybe he died from a mugging there, or on the train to there), but then someone bumped into him, nearly knocking the boy to the ground. The hurried man made no attempt to apologize, but the boy did, even though he'd done nothing wrong; the man hadn't even looked back.   
  
The boy looked somewhat hurt and jumped as someone else pushed past him. He was frightened and very confused, being pushed along with the crowd, though it was obvious that he had no clue where to go. His eyes darted back and forth, looking for something, anything it seemed. His large, round glasses were covered with water, no doubt adding his confusion. Touya sighed heavily and leaned his bike against the lamppost. Whatever it was, it needed some help.   
  
He began to make his way through the crowd towards the lost creature, watching him get pushed this way and that. He was not only small, but delicate and thin. His pale hands reached up to straighten his glasses and Touya thought he looked like spun glass, like any strong hit could just shatter him. While the masses could toss _him_ back and forth, Touya was another matter, he was large by most standards and no one could really push him anywhere. He wasn't far from the boy, maybe a few feet really, when someone shoved past and sent him falling straight into the busy street.   
  
Jumping forward, Touya caught the boy's hand and pulled him back, just in time to see a car zip past inches from his face. His large hand easily encircled the tinier one and in his fear, Touya had pulled back on the boy a bit too hard. He spun around and was pitched forward onto Touya's chest, gasping from the shock of the near miss. The boy quickly remembered himself and stepped back from him, looking up to see who had saved him from becoming road kill.   
  
Beautiful, was the only thought that interrupted Touya's mind at that moment; everything else just wasn't there. Time slowed to a crawl, making the pelting raindrops take on the appearance of impossibly smooth snowflakes, and the sounds of the crowd and cars just kind of faded back. The lights of the cars sliding past looked like stars reflected in the droplets on his glasses. His amber eyes were huge and threatened to swallow him whole if he let them… and at that moment, Touya saw no reason not to. The trance was only broken when a rushed passerby knocked the boy from behind, jostling his glasses further so that they attempted an escape down the bridge of his nose. He thwarted their plans and shoved them back up to their rightful place and stepped back, seeming a bit embarrassed. "Thank you for saving me."   
  
_Saving…? Oh yes!_ Touya's mind had just now managed to catch up with him. _That's why I'm holding his hand,_ he finally put together, releasing the boy quickly. He fought to keep a deep blush from his face.   
  
"I'm Tsukishiro Yukito," he said with a slight bow, while holding his traitorous glasses in place with his hand.   
  
"Ah..." Touya cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his senses. "I'm Kinomoto Touya," he returned the bow. "You seem a little lost," he began tentatively. "Do you need any help?" He'd helped a lot of lost ghosts, and it was always delicate work, but what he could do for this creature he didn't have a clue.   
  
"Oh no, I've bothered you too much," Tsukishiro began, waving him off with his small hand. "I'll be fine, I'm just not used to all this. Thank you again for your help." He bowed again and began to step away.   
  
Touya didn't like the idea of leaving the little thing out in the rain, in all this traffic. Also, he felt uncomfortable leaving him in general. Touya wasn't quite sure what Tsukishiro was, or what was going on, but he always followed his instincts, they'd never failed him before.   
  
At that thought he jumped back to a memory he'd thought he'd buried long ago. They had been wrong once, totally wrong,… but he pushed that thought aside with a decided shove. This wasn't her, and he couldn't let this (whatever it was) go wandering into the city at night to get lost, hit, or freeze to death (though he didn't look very cold). "It's-!" He caught the boy's arm again but simply stopped him this time, releasing quickly. "It's not any trouble, really. I'm no hurry to go anywhere." The boy looked unsure, not out of lack of trust, but rather because he seemed not to want to inconvenience anyone, so Touya pressed on. "Are you waiting for someone? Is somebody supposed to pick you up?"   
  
Tsukishiro finally began talking, not wanting to be rude. "No. My grandparents…" he hesitated a moment, barely noticeable, but Touya caught it. "Are out of town right now. I'm coming to live with them, but they couldn't be in town for another few days. I have their address; I just have to get my bearings. I'm sure I'll be fine."   
  
Touya shook his head, "Don't be ridiculous, you're new here. I can find the house easily, I'm sure. What's their address?"   
  
The boy looked hesitant, but also very in need to help, so in the end he gave up the address. "They said it's at 639 maple leaf road, but I really don't want to bother you…"  
  
Touya smiled and half turned towards his bike. The rain had begun to slow, leaving a chill breeze in its stead. "I know that street. It's not too far. Lemme give you a ride on my bike and we'll be there in no time." The boy hesitated yet again, but Touya extended his hand. "I insist. It's too cold and damp to be wandering the streets alone."   
  
The boy looked at the outstretched hand and then smiled up at him. It was the truest smile Touya thought he'd ever seen. It touched every part of him and Touya found himself entranced anew. The dream-state was interrupted as the boy took his hand. Touya held his grip and guided the boy towards his bike, cutting through the crowd. As they went, he was quick to notice the coolness of Tsukishiro's skin. His mind told him that it was due to the cold rain and that he was foolish to think it odd, but another part of him said it was normal for the boy. It was the other part that Touya trusted most.   
  
He released his hand when they reached his bike and climbed on. Touya was glad he'd left the posts on his back wheel when Sakura had grown past riding there. "Stand on the back posts, and hold on to my shoulders." Obediently, Tsukishiro did this and once he seemed secure, Touya started off. "We'll be there in no time."   
  
As he worked his way through the streets, he let his mind wander on what exactly might be waiting at 639 Maple Leaf. A house maybe, but who knew. And even if there _was_ a house, would it be the one he thought should be there. Touya's mind was throwing up all sorts of warnings; this boy may be looking for a house that was torn down years ago, decades ago, or maybe there wasn't a 639 at all. What then? He'd helped confused spirits before, but this boy was a new one on him. Another part of him reassured him that it would be fine, and as ever he trusted in that part.   
  
"So," he began, but was cut off as they hit a bump that he hadn't seen. Unsteadied, the jump of the bike made Tsukishiro exchange his grip on Touya's shoulders, for wrapping his arms around them. Touya felt a deep blush take hold, but thankfully, the rider behind him couldn't see it. Why this "boy" was affecting him like this was another thing that was bothering him. He wasn't someone that went along stammering and walking into walls at any pretty face that happened by. Not only that, but this boy was, well, a boy. No matter what else he might be, he was still a he. It wasn't his normal reaction no matter how he looked at it.   
  
Touya cleared his throat again and started over. "So, are you going to be staying at your grandparents long?"   
  
The boy kept his arms around Touya and answered, "Yes, I think I'll be staying here for good."   
  
"Really? Your grandparents must be nice to take you in like this." Touya chose his words carefully, asking no questions that might upset the tiny creature holding on to him; like why he was staying with his grandparents. Touya also carefully avoided asking why the boy had no luggage. He was frightened and confused enough without Touya poking holes in his reality. Most "people" he met like this, lived in their own, homemade illusion and it was disastrous to break that illusion with anything but the most extreme care.   
  
"Oh yes, though I haven't seen them in a while. They're always overseas, traveling. They love to travel."   
  
"Ah. That sounds nice. It's good that they have something to do in their retirement."   
  
"Yes," he said honestly. "Their always off somewhere, doing something."   
  
Touya listened carefully but could hear no sound of lies or deceit. The boy believed what he was saying, and that was both a good sign and a bad one. At least Touya knew the, whatever he was, was honest and wasn't trying to lie. He also made mental note of the generalness of the way he spoke of his grandparents; somewhere, traveling, haven't seen them a while, ect. General terms made easy illusions, but Touya figured he could destroy that facade by asking just a few well-chosen questions. He wouldn't, but instead avoided those questions like the black plague. Such a brutal attack could shatter him; he made that mistake with a ghost once when he'd been too young to know differently. It had ended badly.   
  
He watched a signpost announcing the street as Maple Leaf whiz past them. "Well, here's the street, now we just have to find the house." Tsukishiro relinquished his tight hold to place his hands back on Touya's shoulders, as he looked about at the house numbers. He watched them scroll up from the mid five hundreds to the six hundreds and began to watch the tens go up slowly. Eventually he reached a house that said 639 and stopped, still unsure what was going to happen.   
  
Tsukishiro climbed off and Touya followed, resting his bike on the kickstand. "Do you have a key?" he asked following him up to the door.   
  
"My grandparents had a neighbor leave the door unlocked for me tonight," he said and reached out for the knob. The house itself felt odd to Touya but there was still a nagging fear that they were walking into someone's home. Still, the door opened with a soft click and Tsukishiro walked inside, turning on a light. "Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea before you head home? You look cold." The boy smiled softy, and somehow that smile found it's way onto Touya's own face. He never smiled this much, but the boy seemed to draw it out of him.   
  
Making himself think logically, Touya looked past the boy into the house, gauging it and trying to pin point what felt so odd. It looked dusty, as if it hadn't been lived in for a while, and no one yet had taken note of his turning on lights. Touya assumed that the house was as empty as he claimed though how was a curious point. "I… I'd love to, but I'm sure my dad is worried about me. I got off work a bit ago and with the weather…" he was really concerned about his dad worrying, no matter how curious he was about this boy. He should have been home hours ago and the boy was safe now at least.   
  
Tsukishiro bowed his head deeply, "Ah, of course. I've kept you from home. I hope you helping me won't get you in trouble…"  
  
He seemed truly sorry, and almost near tears, Touya thought. "No, no. It's fine. I was already late when I met you. I get side tracked easily." He lied, but at least the late part was true. "You say you'll be staying here for a good while?"   
  
The boy immediately brightened, "Yes," he said dipping his head and smiling.   
  
"Then I'll see you around probably. I don't live very far."   
  
The smile broadened and Touya found himself smiling back, again. "Oh good. Yes, I'm sure I'll see you later then."   
  
Touya inclined his head as he backed up to his bicycle. "Good night then."   
  
"Good night." Tsukishiro waved and closed the door.   
  
As Touya mounted his bike, he looked up at the house, following the trail of lighted windows to what must be his room. That light stayed on for a bit and Touya pushed off towards home. He'd have to make certain to come back and see if the boy was still here, and maybe make sense of what was going on. He was worried about the boy, deeply. He disliked the idea of him alone in an empty house. Whatever he was, he was too warm and friendly to be alone.   
  
Touya brushed off his protective thoughts as he began to pedal faster. He cared too much about people, that's all it was, he told himself, bluntly. He'd worry himself sick about anyone that wandered by. He barely knew this guy and he was already worrying. He'd go back and check in a few days, after school. He had class tomorrow, so he really should be in bed already. He huffed to himself as he rode. Who was he kidding? He'd go check on the kid tomorrow, no doubt on his way home from school. He sighed loudly to himself and continued home.   
  
  



	2. Students

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers. L-Chan and Equinox, I'm glad you like my writing style; and of course TamChronin, you've yet again found a way to deter me from my "real" writing and school work.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.  
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?  
  
  


2

  
  
Touya woke to the persistent sound of his alarm announcing the morning had come. He blinked away the remnants of the dream, and turned off the alarm. He paused a bit, still working out the last bits of the dream in his mind, before the details were lost in the bustle of the day. After doing that, he rose, placing his feet on the bare wood floor. It was Monday.  
  
He quickly pulled clothes from his closet and made his way to the shower. As he walked down the hall, he could hear his sister's alarm go off, but he wasn't worried about having to hurry for her to use the shower. The monster was always late, and that worked out perfectly for his routine. He'd be long since dressed and halfway through breakfast by the time she finally woke up.  
  
Closing the door behind him, Touya laid his school clothes on the stand and stripped off his nightclothes, tossing them into the laundry before stepping into the shower. The water was hot, a welcome contrast to the cold tiling of the floor, and it helped ease away the dream that had held his night. No matter how he may wish to forget it, he allowed it run of his thoughts as he showered.  
  
He knew the dream well. It had visited him often enough that he could recite it, verbatim, though it didn't come as often as it once had. Erotic to say the least, the dream never truly changed but only became more focused. Every time he dreamt it, another piece was filled in. The consistency of the dream had convinced him that it was precognitive, though those sorts of dreams had never been one of his gifts. He'd been so sure it would one day go beyond midnight fantasy and become concrete reality, but that hope was long since destroyed. It was only a dream that for some malicious reason, refused to release him.  
  
Touya could describe the room in picture-perfect detail; it never changed. He was in a bedroom in a traditional house. On the floor lay mats and the separating walls are white paper, framed in black stained wood. On one wall, the pristine paper was decorated with a delicately painted image of cranes in the snow. He could have sketched that image: he'd seen it so often, so clearly. Beneath him, a traditional bed laid, Kaho in his arms. He could still feel her against him, the contrast of her skin with the smooth sheets his hands also brushed; sheets that seemed ashen gray next to her porcelain skin. He ducked his head under the spray, rinsing out the shampoo and the sensation.  
  
As he washed out the soap, the feeling reminded him of something in the dream, a new piece that he'd nearly missed. The hair he'd run his hands through, in the dream, had not been the seemingly endless strands that had been Kaho's, but rather he'd felt short hair. He was sure of it. Short like his own: far shorter than the red sea that had been her hair. It may have been slightly longer than his, but not by much. He stared at his own hand, watching the rivulets of water slip across his dark palm, the feel of the water mimicking the hair that had been present in the dream. The water from his own hair slipped down the side of his face and along his nose, to fall from the tip of his nose and his chin to the palm below, joining the water from the showerhead. He couldn't picture Kaho cutting her hair, so why had he dreamt that? Would she really cut her hair? It sounded wrong as soon as he thought it.  
  
Touya sighed loudly and stepped from the shower, turning off the water quickly. It was complete stupidity to keep going over this, and he knew it. She wasn't coming back to him. She said she would come back, but not to him, so why bother to consider the dream at all. It was only fantasy, nothing more. The only thing that had brought it was last night's full moon: Kaho had loved the moon. She could watch it for hours, her pale face upturned to gaze at its. The dream really only returned on the full moon anymore; no further analysis was necessary. He tossed the used towel into the laundry with his nightclothes, and reached for his school uniform.  
  


***

  
  
Breakfast was the same affair as always; he quietly ate, while the monster rushed in at the end with only enough time to shove a few mouthfuls in before dashing after him out the door. He could be out of the house sooner, but he slowed his schedule so she could catch up. He feared she might choke on something if he rushed her anymore, and she insisted on going to school with him (not that he wouldn't insist on it, if she didn't). He liked seeing her to school every morning, certain she was safe and where she should be. With a broad wave she left him to join her little friends at the school gate and he continued on to his school, next door. As he put his bike in the rack with all the others, he looked up towards the doors to the elementary school. He paused there just long enough to see Sakura go in with her friends, and then made his own way to class.  
  
The room was a buzz with his classmates chatter; happily talking about this and that, what had been done on the weekend, and who was seeing who. He was dimly aware of the gaze of a few girls that followed him across the room, but only sought his seat in the last row, near the rear of the room. Touya participated in sports and occasionally a few classroom activities, though he was far from a social person. People were difficult; that was the best way to describe things. He'd long since stopped trying to talk to them, after failing repeatedly. Everyone either flatly thought he was lying about his gifts, or fluttered around asking a million questions and making ridiculous demands like talking to their dead grandmother, when she'd moved on years ago. One girl had been convinced that she had powers as well, and was enraged when Touya told her that her house, which she'd always "known" was haunted, wasn't at all. She'd called him a liar and hadn't spoken to him since. Those instances had been back when he'd been young, and he'd never tried again. Being a recluse was better than that, so he chose recluse. Other than a few courteous "good mornings", he made it to his seat without anyone saying a thing to him.  
  
Getting to his seat was when he was in danger of being accosted by someone, but once he was in his seat he knew was safe from the uncomfortable activity of small talk. At the beginning of the school year, he'd gotten to class as late as possible to avoid reaching his seat. A girl by the name of Anda had sat right next to him, and the girl seemed incapable of silence. She'd been the bane of his existence for the first two months of high school, then, as if in answer to his prayers, her father had been transferred to another branch of his company, and she'd moved away. Ever since that blessed day, the seat had remained empty and he'd been free from idle chatter.  
  
The teacher came in with the sound of the bell, laying his books before him and after bowing to him, they sat awaiting the morning announcements. Instead of the normal things, the teacher told the class that they were getting a new classmate today, and that he'd join them as soon as he was done in the office. There was a soft knock at the door and he rose to open it. As he did, Touya inwardly grimaced. He could guess where this new comer would be sat, and he stole a glance at the wonderfully empty seat beside him, knowing that he'd never see it empty again. He shuddered to think what the guy was like; having no hope that it would someone who'd have the decency to leave him alone.  
  
The teacher opened the door and, saying something that Touya couldn't quite hear, stepped aside to let the new student in. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet your new classmate." He went on to give his name, but Touya had stopped listening, but rather stared in utter shock. There, standing in the front of the class, book bag clutched before his tiny form, was the boy from last night. He dimly heard the teacher tell Tsukishiro to sit beside him and watched the boy bow and make his way over. He was halfway down the isle when he saw Touya. Tsukishiro smiled that same radiant smile he'd had last night, at the sight of him. "Good morning, Kinomoto san. I guess you were right about us meeting again," he whispered as class started. His golden eyes sparkled with honest joy and the smile was so true it yet again brought a similar one to his own face. Later that evening, Touya would realize he'd heard not one word the teacher had said all morning.  
  


***

  
"Are you sure your father won't mind? I'd hate to intrude," Yukito said as he climbed the stairs to his house, his small book bag held in his hands before him, bumping against his knees as he stood at the door nervously.  
  
Touya merely sighed and opened the door. "You're not, trust me, already. You haven't gone grocery shopping yet and we stayed too late after class to go tonight; I'm not going to send you home to stave to death. I don't care how much you ate at lunch; it's not good to go till tomorrow without eating."  
  
Yukito simply blushed slightly and smiled the smile that Touya had memorized by now, and stepped into the house. "I have a bit of an appetite. I'll watch my self at dinner I swear."  
  
Touya announced his arrival and kicked off his shoes, slipping into his slippers. "You don't have to, my dad always cooks too much anyway. Don't worry." He looked back to Yukito and then walked over to look into the kitchen. "Dad, sorry I'm late. I ah...," It was at this point that Touya realized how bizarre it was that he'd brought home a friend to dinner, he didn't think he'd ever done it, now that he'd thought of it. He'd never been very close to any of his friends, and he'd just met this guy last night. He didn't even know what he was. "I invited a classmate to join us for dinner. I didn't think you'd mind, his family is out of town at the moment..."  
  
His father paused a bit, caught off guard by this turn of events, but quickly recovered, as Yukito stepped up behind Touya. "This is Tsukishiro Yukito. Yukito this is my father Kinomoto Fujitaka."  
  
Yukito bowed deeply. "Good evening, Kinomoto sensei. I kept Touya late showing me around the school, hope I'm not inconveniencing you."  
  
His father's eyebrows rose slightly as both of them used first names, but kept any thoughts to himself and smiled warmly at the new friend. "No, it's quite alright. I'm always happy to see one of Touya's friends." He bowed lightly. "Dinner should be ready in few minutes. Why don't you show Tsukishiro san where he can put his things."  
  
Touya agreed and headed for the stairs. "Well, why don't I show you my room, you've seen everything there is to see of the downstairs. We can dump our books up there."  
  


***

  
  
Dinner was uneventful, save the way Sakura kept drooling on Yukito. Touya was close to telling her to pick up her tongue, but instead settled for torturing her through out the meal. He was sure he'd have a black and blue shin tomorrow, but it was worth it. Yukito ate even more at dinner than he had at lunch, and all Touya could do was shake his head. The guy was half his size, yet ate three times as much. He was so warm and friendly; it was easy to forget he wasn't human, though of course no one else in his family even noticed he was odd. Touya's only fear in taking him home was that his family would ask the wrong questions, but thankfully, Sakura was too busy fawning to ask anything and his dad had better manners than to pry.  
  
As they sat in his room afterwards, they went over tomorrow's math homework. "No, look, you just use this theorem and then this one, and then that gives you the end. It only takes two steps." Yukito smiled up at him, after finishing the proof effortlessly.  
  
Touya looked back down at the paper, unbelieving. The proof had had him stumped for the last 15 minutes, all the while insisting to Yukito he knew what he was doing. After looking over and over it, he finally surrendered. "I'm just not very good at this," he said, dropping the pencil on the notebook before him. Touya liked things he could grasp, see. This abstract stuff of proofs was just getting annoying.  
  
"No, you're just not looking at it right. It's a puzzle." Yukito grinned over at his new friend and moved on to show him the next problem, but he just wasn't getting it. Instead all that was happening was Yukito was doing his homework for him. Eventually he decided he'd been made to look foolish long enough for one study session, and snatched the pencil from Yukito's slim hand.  
  
"Ah ha!" he said triumphantly, holding it out of Yukito's reach.  
  
"Touya?!" He just looked stunned and tried to get the pencil back. His pale fingers missed their target as Touya raised the pencil higher.  
  
"Ha! You think I'm some pity case that needs your supreme intellect to save me from my homework? Well who's supreme now?"  
  
Yukito just made a face that made Touya grin wider. After he decided that pouting was going to get him nowhere, he started reaching for the pencil yet again. "Gimmie it!" He reached up as high as he could but Touya only raised it higher. Yukito snatched at it, holding on to Touya's shoulder for leverage, and tried to get a few inched higher. Yukito continued to demand the pencil while Touya consistently shot down his best efforts. "Gimmie!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Come on!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"This is silly! Gimmie!"  
  
"You'll just have to do without!"  
  
"To-YA! Gimmie!" They were laughing quite hard at this point and Yukito resorted to actually climbing onto Touya's knees as he knelt to get an extra five inches. He tried to keep the pencil from him, pulling it back as far as he could, but Yukito's maneuver had locked Touya down and he managed to reach his hand all the way back and snatch the pencil. He pulled his prize to his chest, defensively clutching it with both hands. "Now who's supreme, To-ya?!" he asked, laughing.  
  
"Yuki…" he began but didn't get the rest of the word out, as he just noticed that he was in his lap, and inches from his face. He felt a blush creep up, but snuffed it quickly, and recovered before Yukito could catch the pause. "You win, you win. And… you're off," he said as he stood up, efficiently dumping Yukito back onto his rear. He chuckled as he walked over and sat on his bed, leaving Yukito to rub his backside.  
  
"You're a sore loser," he said, sticking his tongue out.  
  
Touya simply smiled mischievously, "From here, it looks like you're the sore one."  
  
Yukito opened his mouth to say something, but it was lost when he saw the clock beside Touya. "Oh, we've been studying a long time. It's gotten late."  
  
Touya leaned over and looked at the small digital clock, it's red letters announcing that it was nearly eleven. "Geez… I guess we better call it a night, then. I'm normally asleep by now." He led Yukito down the stairs.  
  
The house was quiet, and the boards creaked in places that Touya had never remembered them creaking before. He wasn't sure why he was bothering being quiet, as they'd just been making all that noise, but none the less, he tried. Touya was surprised his father hadn't come in to announce the time long ago. He guessed it was so unheard of that he have a friend over that he'd let it slide. He'd have to be more careful about the time from now on. As they reached the door they paused as Yukito pulled on his shoes. "You want me to walk you home, you're still not real familiar with the streets…"  
  
Yukito grinned up at him. "No, I'll be fine. I'm very good at directions. Now that I know the way home, I'll be fine." He patted his arm and stepped out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow then."  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow."  
  
"Good night, To-ya."  
  
"Good night…, Yuki." He hadn't meant for the nickname to stick but the boy grinned at the sound of it and Touya could feel his face soften at the sound of his. He wasn't sure why, but the boy had a definite effect on him. He felt... safe was the only word for it. It felt like coming home after a long time away. It was odd, to say the least, he didn't even know what this kid was and it was like he'd known him for years. As the boy turned to walk home, Touya remembered something. "Yuki?"  
  
He stopped and looked back. "Yes?"  
  
"Um, I go to class everyday by the one lane near your house, the cherry tree lined one. If you want, I can meet you there and we can go together, course you'll have to put up with my sister…"  
  
Yuki giggled. "I like your sister. And that sounds fun. I'll meet you there. Later," he said waving and turned for home.  
  
"Later." Touya watched him go and then closed the door.  
  
  



	3. Senses

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers. Violintide, Equinox, L-Chan, Lilly, and Dark Lil Angel. I'm always thrilled to hear that my writing isn't as sucky as I often convince myself it is.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.  
  
Also, FF.net has been having fun messing with my formatting, so bare with me.  
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?  
  
  


3

  
  
  
"Put it right over there, Kinomoto san. I'll tell the stage director it's here." The teacher walked off behind the stage as Touya put down the box of props. His class was putting on a play for their ninth grade project and he'd luckily got he job of stage worker. In his time in school, he'd managed to avoid an acting position every time, and hopefully, his luck would hold out till his moved on to college. He had no desire to go prancing around a stage; he was quite content building the sets. Done with hauling the boxes up from the basement, he resumed his duties painting a bunch of wood cutouts of trees and bushes. He dipped his wide brush into the lighter green paint and looked over to see that Yuki had wandered into view. He was still backstage, but from Touya's vantage point in mid-stage, he could see between the curtains to where Yuki was talking with a flock of girls. He'd been assigned to help with the costumes, as he could sew quite well. The girls surrounded him, making it hard for Touya to see his friend, fawning over him as badly as Sakura did. Touya felt a twinge of jealousy as he continued to paint, but before he could squash it as he always did, a high-pitched voice behind his other shoulder interrupted his thoughts. "Good afternoon, Kinomoto san."   
  
He looked back to see a smiling girl looking up at him, with three others behind her, smiling as well. "Good afternoon, Hikoto san, girls…" he nodded to Hikoto san and the girls behind her. Hikoto san was in charge of the stage and the others were playing various parts in the play. "The box is over there." He turned to jam a thumb at the box; beyond it was Yuki and his giggling flock. He told himself to calm down, that he shouldn't be getting upset about it. Why should he care if his friend had girls drooling over him? He should be happy for him; Yuki seemed to enjoy it more than Touya did.   
  
"The teacher told me you'd brought it up." Touya looked back to her as she resumed talking. "I was planning on having two boys go down to get it. It looked too heavy to be carried up alone, but I guess it's good having someone as strong as you working with me."   
  
The attempt at flattery was blatant and he'd heard this stuff a hundred times by all sorts of girls. He'd gotten pretty immune to it all over time, but he also wasn't blind. Hikoto san was very attractive, and the last couple years of high school had been kind to her. He'd adamantly sworn off dating, having had enough of that disaster already, but felt his resolve waver a bit, as she squeezed her clasped hands tighter, pulling her shoulders in, and pushing her ample breasts together as she looked sweetly at him, still talking about how nice it was to have him around. Hikoto san was arguably the hottest girl in class, she could pretty much get any guy she wanted and had been spending the time preparing for the play chipping away at his will power. "I, ah…" He wasn't sure what he was going to say but from behind him, he heard Yuki's laugh rise above the girls' behind him and immediately focused on that, totally forgetting the girl hitting on him and her sought after body. _"What's so damned funny?"_ he thought, feeling jealousy take a firmer hold on him, then remembered the girl before him and continued quickly. "I really didn't have a problem with it. If you need me to get anything else for you, just ask." He went back to his painting, wanting to look back to where his senses told him Yuki still was, but the girl wasn't quite done.   
  
"That's very helpful of you, Kinomoto san. I guess I'll leave you to your painting…" as she left she ran her hand up his arm and over his shoulder, though any effect it would have had was snuffed as "watched" Yuki with his other sense. He glowed bright enough that that was easy, and Touya often resorted to watching him like that. She made her way off stage and Touya shook his head sharply, ending his "watching" of his friend. He really had to stop this. He'd been friends with Yuki for months and his jealousy over him had only grown steadily: why, he really couldn't guess. They spent nearly every day together that Touya didn't work; often spending the night at Touya's, working late on homework or simply hanging around. He vastly preferred having Yuki over at his house for the night, rather than him sleeping at his own house, and his father let Yuki stay over any time Touya had asked. Touya assumed that his father could pick this up, though that wasn't the only reason Touya wanted him there. He also hated sending Yuki back to his house. Touya had only been in the house for short periods of time, but was always happy to leave it. It was empty, totally. The house seemed to echo magically and it was totally unlike anything he'd ever encountered. He wasn't sure what was wrong with the house, but it wasn't normal, whatever it was. Even if it had been normal, he still wouldn't have liked the idea of sending Yuki home to a lonely home. No matter how often he told himself he shouldn't be this attached to the boy, the attachment only grew.   
  
He was forcibly shutting off his senses, focusing only on his painting, when he heard foot steps come up behind him. "Hikoto san…" he began, but was quickly cut off.   
  
"…seems to like you a lot," Yuki's soft voice continued for him.   
  
Touya turned to see his friend smiling at him; though he smile seemed less true than his normal one. "Yuki. Sorry, I thought you were someone else."   
  
He nodded, the diminished smile remaining, leaving Touya feeling quite guilty, though he told himself firmly he had no reason to. "I think that's the first time I've ever been able to sneak up on you. She must have really caught your attention. You always know when I'm around."   
  
Touya snorted at the comment about Hikoto san, and shook his head apologetically. "Nah, I was just thinking too hard about what all I had to get done. I wish she'd just leave me alone so I could get my work done. If she keeps stopping me to chitchat I'll never get all this done," he said waving his brush at the multiple cutouts.   
  
Yuki looked at them and then back to Touya, his pale face turned up quite a bit, regardless of how far he was back from him. Yuki barely came up to Touya's shoulder. "Half the guys in school would kill to be in your spot, if not more. She's very pretty."   
  
"Yeah, but-" he stopped suddenly and looked up at the doors to the auditorium. His dad was about to come in; he was being called away for a business meeting, meaning that Touya would have to watch Sakura tonight. Thankfully it also meant he'd have a reason to leave the school quickly and not have to come up with an excuse to get away from Hikoto san. Yuki turned as well, to see what Touya was looking at. "Excuse me a minute," Touya walked past Yuki and jumped down off the stage. As his feet hit the floor, the double doors opened, and in walked his father, looking quite rushed. He looked around moment and saw Touya walking towards him.   
  
"Touya, I'm sorry but I've been called to a meeting out of town, I have to leave right away and I won't be back until tomorrow evening." Touya was nodding, already knowing this. "I already have supper bought at home, and Sakura will be home late."   
  
"I know, she's got cheerleading practice this evening, don't worry, I'll watch her. Have a good trip." His father nodded, and thanked him, rushing from the room.   
  
As Touya turned and headed back to the stage, he saw Yuki stepping down the stairs to meet him. "That's amazing. How do you do that?"   
  
Touya just shrugged, "Eh, lucky guess," he lied as he walked up the stairs with Yuki. He hadn't told Yuki about that stuff and wasn't sure he was going to. He was afraid of losing his friendship and Touya wasn't sure how he'd react to his "gifts".   
  
Yuki didn't press it, letting it go like he always did. Yuki never pried, always very considerate about people's privacy, though Touya could see his smile diminish even more as he continued to talk. "So I guess you won't be able to go to the restaurant with everyone after school, today." Since the play had started, most of the students had begun to meet up at a little restaurant near by after school on Fridays. He hated going, as Hikoto san spent the time attached to his hip, but Yuki always went and Touya didn't want to seem rude. He merely nodded, and Yuki continued. "Hikoto san will miss you, I'm sure. Do you still want to study tonight, or are you going to be too busy with Sakura?"   
  
"I won't be too busy, all I really have to do is make dinner. If you still want to, you can come over when you leave the restaurant. I don't want to keep you from going with everyone. If you get done there early enough, you might be able to catch dinner at my house."   
  
Yuki looked up at him, his smile returned to its full intensity. "I don't need to go tonight. Why don't I just walk home with you and help you with dinner?"   
  
"That's good with me. The restaurant is always too noisy, anyway." Touya could feel a slight smile find it's way to his face at the sight of Yuki's. He hated to see Yuki upset, but diner at his house seemed to perk him up.   
  
As they reached center stage, Yuki's flock came to take him back, having had some disaster with one of the sewing machines. Touya just shook his head as Yuki waved goodbye, and waved back.   
  


***

  
  
It was late evening. The stars were beginning to come out, blinking on in no particular order, like dancers out of sync with each other, none quite sure when they should hit their mark. They seemed like children in a kindergarten play, the performers all dressed in sparkling costumes, every one a slightly different color having given slightly different directions to their mothers. Once there, they flashed their beauty brightly, unashamed at their disorganization, but rather seemed overjoyed to even be included in the performance. They winked in and out, none in time with another, each vying for attention on the dark stage, each trying to be the center of attention, as if waving to someone in the audience, hoping to catch a smile of approval. One in particular ran from the stage, leaving a glimmering trail across the darkening curtain.   
  
A week after the school play had finished, Touya found himself deep in the park. Sakura had been playing with her friends at the playground earlier that day, and had left her baton at the swings. She'd cried pitifully, afraid she'd lost it, embarrassed to ask the teacher for a new one. He was sure where it was, but she needed it at school tomorrow and wouldn't have time to get it in the morning. So he'd pulled on his jacket and made his way to the park.   
  
On his way out of the park, he'd spotted a crying girl near the edge of the trees. She was a ghost; there were a lot of them in the woods here. They had happy memories of this place from when they were children and many came back here, in a subconscious attempt to find that happiness again. She looked particularly lost, so he walked over and carefully talked to her. He spent what had to be hours, carefully listening to her and drawing her out of her illusion. She wasn't a little girl, really; she'd been in her 70's when she'd died, but this place had been the last pure, happy moment for her, so she'd come back, and returned to the age she'd been way back then.   
  
Unfortunately, as often happened, the happiness didn't come back. She was all alone and didn't understand what was happening. She'd come back to the memory of the boy she'd had a crush on, way back when, but the boy wasn't here of course. No one was here. It was a scary situation for an adult, but she'd returned to the mind of a child, younger than his sister was now. After long hours, Touya finally was able to draw her totally out, returning her to herself.   
  
They sat quietly chatting on a bench. After a bit, she smiled and patted his hand. "Thank you so much. I don't know how long I've been here. You must think me a very foolish old woman." She bowed her head, ashamed of herself.   
  
"No. It happens a lot, actually. I know you can't see them, but there's a lot of lost people in these woods. I've helped a lot like you. You aren't foolish. You were just trying to be happy again. There's no crime in that."   
  
She smiled up at him again. "You're a very good boy. Most wouldn't take the time to help someone like this." She stood up from the bench they'd been sitting at, and looked back at him. "I guess I've been looking in the wrong places for my happiness. I've been turning down the wrong paths for a good while, now that I look back on it all. I was too busy doing what I thought I should do, rather that what I wanted. Duty is important, but I got too caught up with it. I should have kept that boy, instead of accepting the wealthier boy's hand. I spent my whole life with him, while I was wishing for the other." She looked back to Touya, a kind smile across her face. "I guess talking to all us fools lets you see all the silly mistakes not to make, doesn't it? Don't make my mistake, Kinomoto san. If you find someone, grab a hold of her and don't let go, no matter what anyone says. People can spend their whole life looking for that special someone and never find it. If you're lucky enough to find that someone, don't let them go, don't repeat this old woman's mistake."   
  
"I won't," he lied easily. It wouldn't do any good to tell the woman that he'd already lost his one person. Might as well let her go thinking she'd done him some good. If nothing else it was nice to talk to someone who'd lost their person, too, even if the woman hadn't been the one left behind. His mind had strayed to Kaho the whole discussion. It also had strayed to Yuki a lot (almost more than Kaho), but that was just because Yuki was living in an illusion like this lady had.   
  
"Well, I think it's more than time for me to go. Good bye, Kinomoto san."   
  
He stood to see her off, and bowed slightly. "Good bye. Have a nice trip." She smiled at his casualness and then vanished. He watched her fade into little stars and then sighed, thinking back to Yuki and then Kaho, only to go back to Yuki. His brain was running circles and it was beginning to aggravate him.   
  
"Who were you talking to?" came a little, velvety voice from behind him. He started and spun around. There, standing a couple feet away, behind the bench, was Yuki. He looked back and forth, between Touya and the empty space that the old woman had been in.   
  
Touya couldn't believe he hadn't felt Yuki there. He must have been so focused on the lady he missed Yuki totally. "Yuki… I ah…" He struggled to find an excuse for talking to thin air, not wanting to jeopardize their friendship for anything. "I was… well, I…"   
  
Yuki watched him stammer a bit, and then his look of curiosity was replaced by a casual smile, though it wasn't a real smile. "I called your house and your dad said you'd left a while ago, he said you went looking for Sakura's baton. He was worried that you'd been gone too long, so I said I'd go look for you. I see you found it," he pointed to the baton in his left hand. "We should get going, your dad was very worried." He stepped around the bench, onto the paved footpath.   
  
Touya walked beside him, and almost let it go, happy that Yuki wasn't going press him on it, but then he saw his face. He was smiling, and he doubted anyone else could have seen the difference between that smile and his normal one, but Touya knew him too well. To Touya it looked like a mask, rather than a real smile. He could see hurt in his large amber eyes and Touya felt ashamed of himself. Yuki was willing to ignore it, he never pried, but that didn't mean he didn't want to know; it didn't mean it didn't hurt to be left out, mistrusted. "Wait, Yuki," he said stopping. "I…, I was talking to a ghost of an old woman. I can see ghosts, and other things…" he trailed off, now staring at his shoes. This discussion had gone wrong so many times before; he was just waiting for the shoe to drop. "I would have told you before, but I wasn't sure how you'd react to it. I'm sorry."   
  
He felt Yuki's tiny hand come to rest on his shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, To-ya. You don't have to worry about telling me things; I'm your friend. You can trust me."   
  
He looked up to meet Yuki's eyes and felt a decided pull. There were no doubts in his eyes; no accusations or fear, only trust and happiness. His smile was back, as true as ever. Touya thought nothing of the odd formality of his speech, it was normal for Yuki, and he didn't even notice it anymore. All he noticed was his warmth. "Everyone I've ever told thinks I'm lying, or crazy. Thanks for believing me, I didn't want to loose your friendship over this." He was aware how close he and Yuki were standing, but the alarms hadn't yet gone off in his head as normal.   
  
"I would never think you'd lie to me, you're the most honest person I know. I think it's amazing, what you can do." A cool breeze whipped up, sending leaves dancing past their feet. Yuki's white hair scattered a bit in the breeze and he could see his own dark strands twist in front of his eyes a bit. Softly, in a cottony voice, he nearly whispered, "I'd never stop being your friend, To-ya."   
  
Touya reached up and brushed the alabaster threads from his face, holding them back from concealing the honey brown eyes from his vision. His fingertips brushed Yuki's cool skin, sending a gentle current up through his body. Electricity is a bit cliché, but dramatically fitting. It wasn't that it was strong, or jarring, quite the opposite, it was soft and subtle, and calmed him completely. There was no bolt of light, no thunderclap; it was like the still air after a long snow. It only resembled electricity in its most basic sense, in the sense that it held him as securely as if he'd grabbed a live wire. The current passed though him and held him utterly captive. Beyond his fingers, also his eyes were caught in that, turning him into a jumper of sorts: a bit of tin laid between the two poles of a battery, and all he could do was wait for the eminent explosion.   
  
"Oni-chan!" Sakura's voice rang out, behind him, and Touya's hand moved aside, breaking the loop. His eye's were released next as he somehow turned to see her bounding up the walkway, his father in tow.   
  
He waved to them, and held up the baton in his other hand, feeling as if his hair should be standing on end. "I found it. It was hidden well, and I got sidetracked a bit. Yuki just found me."   
  
His sister came up, cheering that he had found her baton for her. She hugged him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He ruffled her hair. "Next time be more careful, monster. Maybe next time I'll just let you suffer for your forgetfulness."   
  
Her face twisted into a snarl. "I am not a monster!"   
  
"To-ya…" came Yuki's voice from behind him, Sakura's snarl vanished at the sight of him. "You shouldn't tease her like that." He frowned deeply at him, but it was a harmless frown and Touya simply smiled mischievously at him.   
  
"Good evening Yukito san," she said sweetly. "Thank you for looking for my inconsiderate brother." She stuck out her tongue at him when Yuki walked past him and couldn't see her do it.   
  
Touya just rolled his eyes and followed, walking next to his father. "I don't know why I worry about you," he said, looking over at his son. "You're always fine. Did you get occupied out here… with something?" his father asked cryptically. He knew of his gifts and that there were ghosts out here. Touya just nodded. "I hope we didn't interrupt you. I wouldn't have come out here, except that it was getting late and Sakura was getting very worried."   
  
Sakura walked with Yuki ahead of them, making small talk. "Did you know that there are ghosts out here?" she asked incredulously.   
  
Yuki bent down a bit, smiling. "I've heard that. It's very interesting." He glanced back at Touya and then continued to listen to her, while she told him how much she hated ghosts and only came out here this late cus her dad had come too.   
  
Touya smiled softy at his look, and continued to, watching him walk with his sister. "You told him?" his father asked softy from beside him.   
  
Touya was jarred from his trance again, and looked over to him, nodding again.   
  
"I'm glad. You needed someone to talk to. Tsukishiro's been very good for you, I'm happy you've found a friend, Touya." He patted Touya's shoulder. "It isn't good to be alone all the time."   
  
"Yeah," he said looking back to Yuki. Sakura was asking him if he was coming back to their house, but Yuki said it was getting very late and he didn't think he should be bothering them at this hour.   
  
"Tsukishiro san?" his father called up to Yuki. "Don't be silly, you're always welcome. We have a cake I brought home today, and after coming out all this way to find Touya I think you've more than earned a few pieces."   
  
Yuki thanked him and Sakura went off on what kind of cake it was and the cherry topping, asking him if he liked that kind. Touya just rolled his eyes. Yuki would eat cardboard if you gave it to him, he thought, smiling, as Yuki assured her that he liked that flavor. As he walked behind them his mind went back to just a few minutes ago and he could feel a slight blush warm his cheeks. He wasn't sure what was going on, but all and all he was happy. He didn't have to come up with silly excuses when he answered questions before they were asked or phones before they rung. He finally had a friend that wouldn't be upset by his gifts. The only other person he'd ever had like that was Kaho, and Touya silently prayed that his new friend wouldn't vanish like she had.   
  
  



	4. Paper

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers: Lily, Lord of the dead, Violintide, and of course TamChronin, who is the only reason I was finally coerced into finally writing this.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.  
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


4

  
  
  
The repetitive tapping of the spoon against the bowl was the only sound present to keep Touya company. Sakura was going to be late, busy with practice at school, and his father was late at work. They'd both be home by the time dinner was ready, so Touya continued at his task, finishing the batter for the tempura and reaching into the refrigerator after the vegetables. He washed them carefully under the water, till he was satisfied that they were indeed clean. Opening a lower cupboard, he drew out the cutting board.   
  
He had just started tenth grade a few days ago. It was going nicely so far, Yuki was still in his class, sitting beside him like last year. Yuki would have been there with him this night, except that the gardening club had needed some help getting ready for one of their shows. Touya had thought about tagging along, but for one, that would be ridiculous and overly clingy he thought; and two, tonight was his night to cook. So he was in the kitchen alone, the large knife tapping against the wood as he diced the onion. As he finished with it, he deftly slid the pieces into a bowl with the side of his knife, and then moved on to the carrots.   
  
He had gotten through those and several other varieties of vegetables when the door opened and his father announced his arrival. He called back and looked as his father stepped into the kitchen. "Hello, Touya, dinner coming well?"   
  
He nodded, resuming his work. "Yeah, it'll be done by the time that Sakura gets home. Have a good day at work?"   
  
"Oh yes, I had to go to a few meetings, but they were fast…" Touya looked back as his father continued to describe his day, but he really didn't catch much after that. His father set his briefcase down on the table while he talked to him, and Touya found himself focused on that. There was something in his bag, something _odd_. He couldn't really guess what it was, just that it was quite potent. His father then picked up the bag and headed from the room. Dimly Touya could recall him just saying that he'd gotten a few things on loan from the university and was going to put them in his study. Hearing him open the hallway door and head down stairs, Touya went back to the dinner; his eyes narrowed. What had his father brought home this time? Whatever it was, it was stronger than anything he'd ever seen. If he thought about it, he could feel it moving down the stairs and into the study, eventually coming to rest there. He reopened his eyes and began to batter the vegetables and prawns. Sakura was home, so he'd have to find out about the new arrival later.   
  
He had just dipped the first bit into the hot oil as Sakura opened the door and called out to them.   
  


***

  
  
He was the first one home again. Yuki was still helping the garden club, so he wouldn't see him again till tomorrow. Sakura was off with a friend; she wouldn't be home until real late. And his father was busy with work, he wouldn't be home for another couple hours. That left Touya free to greet the new houseguest, as it was. He opened the door and headed down the stairs. His father had brought home a lot of oddities over time. Once there had been an enchanted bowl from ancient china, another time there had been a pair of scissors that misplaced themselves randomly. He'd once borrowed from the university a pole arm head that was deranged to say the least, Touya still shivered at the memory of the thing. He'd told his father, outright, to get the weapon out of the house. He hadn't been comfortable having it in the house with Sakura, and its sheer presence was giving her nightmares, though she didn't know why. And who could forget the vase Touya had spent an entire night talking to it about the pros and cons of various flowers and arrangements that could be used. It had particular qualms about peach blossoms, and when it had heard his name said as much (something about the bark staining its interior). If a vase could make a face, it would have.   
  
He crossed the room quietly, despite his large size, and looked around for the new addition. It didn't take him long. There, near his father's desk, was a bright red book. English letters decorated its spine, embossed in gold, and stars as well. He reached out tentatively and pulled it out from the shelf, laying it flat in his hands. On the front was a large beast that he supposed was meant to be frightening, but to him it just looked like it was trying too hard; it was almost comical. He carefully flipped it over to look at the backside, and felt something shift within. It wasn't a physical shift, he thought, but something was stirring a bit. "Sorry." He whispered and turned the book the rest of the way over. On the back, was a large symbol of various markings and circles and squares all interlocked. In the center was the sun that had stood before the beast on the front, and on it's peripheral, were two crescent moons. He thought it odd that there were two moons and only one sun.   
  
Below the intricate symbol was a bit of red leather left blank. Touya ran his fingers across this area. It felt odd, out of place for lack of a better word. He was sure something was meant to be here as well, but what, he couldn't guess. He carefully turned the book back to the front and looked again at the funny lion. As he did, his thumb brushed the gold clasp that sat on its right side. He could feel things stir again, stronger this time and he ran his hand along the clasp.   
  
Locked. His mind said that it was locked. But it also said that he could open it, if he wanted. All he had to do was flip the clasp open. He more pondered what the lock was for, rather then whether to open it. He wasn't supposed to open it, he could tell that much. Whatever it was, it wasn't for him. Touya wasn't terribly disappointed by this; he had no real desire for it, whatever it was.   
  
He closed his eyes and focused on the book, trying to pick apart its identity. He could hear not only one, but a good deal of voices. Most within the book were quiet, only a few aware of his presence. One voice in particular was louder than the others, and was snoring. They didn't feel trapped, or in need of help, they instead seemed to just be sleeping, content where they were. The only ones who felt him were simply curious of him or perturbed at being woke up. He smiled apologetically, "I'm very sorry to have disturbed you," he said quietly, and put them back on the shelf. He felt them settle, some grumbling a bit before going back to sleep, others staying awake long enough to watch him leave. He bowed to them and went back up stairs to cook dinner, content that whatever they were, they weren't malicious. Mischief was all he could think they could get up to, and anyway, who in the house could let them out?   
  


***

  
Touya sat at a far lunch table, watching the elementary school kids playing. He liked watching Sakura while he had his lunch, but right now he was absorbed at another task. He had a test in history that afternoon. He thought he had the facts all memorized, but he was still rereading them over and over again. He was so engrossed in the timetable for the Zhou dynasty that he barely noticed Yuki sit down in front of him. "Hi, To-ya. Is your studying going well?" To that he only got a grunt, so he continued. "I really don't think you have to study this much. You've gone over it so many times, you must have it. Why not just relax on the lunch break?"   
  
Touya sighed at his friend's cheerfulness. "I'm just not sure. Some of these guys have really similar names. Then there's the whole mess of the whole feudal system they used… I really have to study this a little longer. I just don't want to mess up this test."   
  
"But you never mess them up. You always get good scores; you should relax a bit. You'll be too tired to take the test properly." Yuki explained logically.   
  
Touya hadn't looked up from his book the whole conversation, but rather stayed focused in the pages lying before him on the lunch table. He could "see" Yuki, so looking up wasn't a real high priority. Touya hated tests that were all memorization; he vastly preferred tests that he'd have to figure out. These types of tests were near torturous. He could hear the crinkling of paper that was no doubt Yuki eating his large lunch. "I know, I know," he said in response. "I just want to be sure."   
  
He'd barely set back to reading the timeline one more time, when a bright green frog jumped onto his book. It startled Touya a bit, but in truth it wasn't a real frog, but a small paper one, made from carefully folded rice parchment dyed a deep grassy green. It sat there happily, tipping a bit to one side as a breeze nudged it slightly. Touya's eyebrows knitted together and he looked up from the delicately folded origami to Yuki.   
  
Sitting before his friend was a small stack of brilliantly colored papers; Touya didn't know where he'd gotten them but obviously he'd been doing that the whole time he'd studied. In front of Yuki was a wide assortment of various shapes of all sorts of colors and sizes. Boats, horses, hats, stars, cranes, foxes, fish, and any other imaginable animal in any color sat around him like a child's coloring book, filled with all sorts of wondrous things, colored with whatever crayon the child's hand grasped at the time. In his tiny, pale hands Yuki held a bright red diamond, a wide smile across his face. Once Touya was facing him fully he put the kite-like piece to his slim mouth and blew. In a short pop, the diamond expanded to a little balloon, and he released it before finishing his breath, sending the little folded bubble at Touya. He caught it easily before it hit his nose, and laughed at the absurdity of it.   
  
Yuki's smile broadened and he giggled softly. "Come on To-ya… Lighten up!" he quickly picked up a circle of multiple colored spikes and plomped it on his head, making him seem a crayon colored Statue of Liberty. Yuki giggled more at this.   
  
Smiling with him, Touya plucked the crown from his head and looked quizzically at his friend. "Yuki, where did you get all this paper?"   
  
"The origami club gave me it for helping out last weekend." He picked up a handful of sheets and tossed them onto Touya's open book. "Come on! Make something; you know you want to…" He said, smiling like the Cheshire cat.   
  
Touya smiled his own troublesome smile and spun the crown on his one finger. With one quick movement, the crown was tossed up and landed on Yuki's head. Unfortunately it had been made for Touya's larger head, so it slid comically down Yuki's face. It stopped, caught lopsidedly on his glasses and nose. "To-ya!" he said admonishly as he pulled the crown up so he could see his friend. He got the crown up, so it rested on the top of his head, the back hanging down at his neck. The circlet made his hair stand up on end in some places, but Yuki didn't much seem to care, and made a mocking attempt at a glare as he straightened his glasses. He barely had them in place when Touya shot a paper balloon of his own at Yuki. Yuki giggled and threw the ball back at Touya, who deflected it easily with an unused piece of paper. They laughed easily at their childish game, tossing a few other helpless, paper animals at each other. The textbook was pushed aside, forgotten completely the friends began to build more additions to the coloring book zoo. They had an impressive menagerie by the time the bell sounded.   
  


***

  
  
The alarm sounded loudly beside him, proudly calling out that it was time to wake. "Yuki!" Touya called out softly before he truly woke and then, realizing where he was, struck the clock quickly. He laid back down, panting a bit. Somewhat red, a thin sheet of sweat covered him. He wiped off his forehead with the back of his hand and covered his eyes. Breathing deeply he waited for the effects of the dream to fade to the point that he could move. They were becoming more intense and no longer waited for the full moon. After waiting as long as he could, he pulled himself up and pushed aside the ruined sheets. Stretching his complaining body enough to stand, he quickly headed for the shower after grabbing his school clothes.   
  
The dreams were becoming a normal occurrence now, coming at least once a week if not more. It was beginning to disrupt his classes, because he wasn't getting enough rest. He carelessly dropped his uniform on the rack and yanked off his nightclothes, tossing them on the floor (he'd carry them back to his room and wash them with his sheets later that afternoon). As he stepped under the hot spray he tried to wash out the effects of the dream from his mind as well. The dream wasn't really changing anymore; it had been the same for the last month or so. He allowed the memories to dart before his eyes as he scrubbed his tired body and started on his hair. He'd been carefully convincing himself that he was just imagining things when he woke, that certain parts he remembered hadn't actually been dreamed, but rather filled in after he woke. Touya had been quite diligent at this theory this last month or so, but it was time to give in. There wasn't any more room for self-delusion, not after this morning. No matter how he tried to convince himself otherwise, he'd plainly called out Yuki's name when he woke. He couldn't say he'd imagined that.   
  
He finished rinsing out his hair and leaned his forehead against the tile wall, feeling the coolness against his skin after the hot water. His life had taken a decidedly odd turn, even for him. He didn't understand why it was happening, but it was. He was aware of how attached he'd become to Yuki, but he wasn't sure what to do about this not-so-new development. He'd never been attracted to a guy before, not once, but none the less, in his dream, where Kaho had always been, was instead Yuki. As he allowed the images of the dream come forward again he yet again could see Yuki clearly beneath him, far clearer than he'd ever seen Kaho.   
  
Once he thought of it, he began to wonder if he'd never really seen Kaho, or rather had simply slipped her into the role, assumed her to be the faceless lover. She'd been the only one he wanted there for so long. And now? Now he could keenly smell Yuki's soft clean scent even through the soapy smell of the shower; could feel the silky coolness of his skin, even as the hot water ran across Touya's back, eliciting memories of Yuki's fingers. His fine white hair tousled, somewhat obscuring the amber eyes that held him far surer than his thin, delicate arms ever could, Touya could feel himself brush away those strands and capture the pale lips in his own. He felt a deep blush slide across his face and he turned to lean with his back against the tiling. He slid down the wall and put his face in his hands, allowing the water to fall past him, untouched, only to run in a river across his toes back towards the drain.   
  
Fear built up from all sides, making Touya feel as if he was a caged animal, penned in with barbed wire. He didn't know what scared him more. The fact that he was extremely attracted to his *male* best friend was a frightening concept that put whole chunks of his life up in the air. Also there was the deep seeded terror of trusting anyone like that, like he had Kaho. He'd seen what relationships got him, and he never wanted to feel that again, ever. He prayed that it was only an infatuation and would fade. It was his only hope.   
  
  
  



	5. Five

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers: L-Chan, Amy, Equinox, BakaKistuneGirl and of course TamChronin; it's her fault that I'm writing this, blame her.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  


5

  
  
  
The ride to school was a quiet one. Touya's mind was racing in all sorts of directions, like marbles released onto the table only to go skittering this way and that, merrily bumping into each other, spinning in place fruitlessly, or rolling off the table completely in a mad, suicidal dash. Or maybe those marbles were simply making a desperate attempt to escape the bag forever, only to eventually find a new, dark hell inside a vacuum cleaner bag. Pieces of his mind seemed like they were trying to escape, though what would catch them was yet to be seen. Was there a great mental vacuum cleaner that sucked up the minds of crazy people who let their thoughts roll from the table of sanity and never bothered to find them before cleaning day arrived? He wondered.   
  
He also wondered what he was going to do now? How he was going to make this go away and leave him in peace, instead of pieces. His thoughts continued to twirl about on that table, careening into each other with little care for him, until he reached the corner he picked Yuki up at every morning. At the sight of him an earthquake hit the table, sending the few remaining bits tumbling from the table as if fleeing from some terrible fate. As the small boy waved with his perfect smile, Touya felt his heart tear asunder, as half went bolting, eager to join the marbles wherever they were heading, while the other half leapt for the being before him.   
  
Caught in this state, Touya stopped before Yuki and greeted him automatically, waiting for him to take his place on the bike behind him, as they always did. He was so lost in himself that he failed to notice Yuki's reply was quieter and more reserved than normal. As he mounted the bike, carefully placing his feet on the posts, he kept his hands on Touya's shoulders, even if they hit bumps.   
  
They waved good-bye to Sakura and they pulled up to the school. As Touya stopped, Yuki got quietly off and waited for Touya to put the bike in the rack. As they walked to class, Touya was so busy chasing marbles that he never caught that Yuki made no attempt to talk the whole morning. He rather followed Touya quietly, sending furtive glances up at his larger classmate and only to quickly turn back to his shoes.   
  


***

  
  
Touya mainly ran on autopilot the whole day, speaking only when spoken to; and the whole day Yuki only said hello when they met at lunch, remaining silent other than that. His thoughts went hither and yon, darting this way and that with little rationality. A larger potion of his mind, the part that had eventually sulked back after running in terror earlier shouted out Yuki's faults and how ridiculous and hard up for a date he _must_ be to want _him_. In the absence of real faults, the thoughts occasionally resorted to making up a few.   
  
_He's so damn **timid**. What is he, afraid of me? Maybe that's the only reason he hangs around me: he's too afraid to tell me to shove off. Maybe he's always around me 'cus he's drawn to my power, like a moth to a flame; maybe that's the only reason I'm around him. Or maybe the damned thing was just programmed to attach itself to the first gifted person that wandered by. Maybe someone made it, set it up it to be drawn to them, and the brainless thing is just mistaking me for them. Maybe the only reason it was at that train station was because they got sick of it and dumped it there, like leaving an unwanted pet in the woods. Or maybe it's broken and it just ambled away from it's master._ Touya almost laughed at the thought of posting the ad, _"Found: Boy shaped magical thing, answers to Yukito."_ But if he had laughed, it would have been a bitter one.   
  
Touya raised his eyes to look at the being in front of him, but looked back down quickly. He'd been happy to continue along those thoughts when he was just looking at his picked over lunch and fidgeting hands. The vast majority had joined the mob, eagerly agreeing with the harsh view of what was eating quietly in front of him, but as soon as he looked at Yuki, there was immediate dissention in the ranks. The biting bitterness in his eyes faded to guilt.   
  
Part of him was content to wallow in his guilt over thinking such horrible things of the sweet, gentle person before him; the other part, still enraged, screamed even louder its accusations to try to regain its former power. The two distinct factions pulled at him violently, each demanding that their agenda be served solely and denouncing the other. The thoughts reached near riot, as they resorted to attacking the other's view, viciously cutting apart their motives. The Angry group said the Guilt one was lonely and reaching out for something that not only wasn't there but what they shouldn't want in the first place! The Guilts pointed at the Argrys' fear and uncertainty, claiming that they were running from their own desires, making up facts to suit them. The Angers called the Guilts pathetic and desperate, while the Guilts declared the same of the Angers. The civil war had reached such levels that when the bell sounded that lunch was over, Touya stood quickly and made his way to class, not even looking towards Yuki.   
  


***

  
  
Soccer practice was horrible. The warring tribes of his mind were at each other's throats, leaving little time to pay attention to the checkerboard ball. The sphere spun as erratically as his thoughts, as it darted about the green field, buffered by one force only to be shot to another abuser. Its black and white pattern flipped maddeningly, a chaos only matched by the voices in his head. Having just as much say in its situation, the ball inevitably flitted to Touya. Whether it was seeking aid from a fellow sufferer or simply surrendering to its meaningless fate, Touya paid no heed and instead struck out at the ball, himself. Black and white spun before his feet, while Anger and Guilt continued their battle. The two had begun to pull down various memories and feelings to attack the other with.   
  
The practice was a dance that he stepped through on automatic, passing his only partner to others only to have the lost ball sent back to him. Touya drove the sphere forward into the restraining net occasionally or into the gloved hands of his teammate, but though the flipping black and white stopped for short times, the war raged on with no end in sight. The practice continued, unconscious of the unseen battle being fought silently. Finally, a whistle sounded, the ball slowed, the boys made their way to the locker room, eager to be free of the sweat, while the combatants continued obliviously.   
  
Touya barely saw or heard anything any more. The cries of the battle drowned out any other sounds and his eyes were lost in a landscape of torn preconceptions and bloody denials. Walls were coming down around him and the barbed fencing drew closer. He hardly acknowledged the others as they left, happy to be headed home; they walked, talking idly of games, grades, and girls. Drawing his shirt over his head, the new silence of the room worsened the situation. Standing before his locker, the battle reached a fierce pitch, and Touya lashed out.   
  
The sound of metal, slammed and bent, filled the tiled room, echoing, to make it seem as if a bomb had gone off. Touya left his fist on the door of the locker, not even registering the dent in it, nor the throbbing pain that would result in a bruise tomorrow. But somehow, in that haze, in that thunder-like echo, Touya heard a very small sound from behind him. He turned quickly; anger still painted across his face, rooted firmly in his blue eyes, and saw Yuki standing in the doorway to the locker room.   
  
Yuki had gasped and one small, pale hand was raised to his mouth. Shock filled his amber eyes. Yuki apologized quickly, lowering his head, and darted from the room. The rage had vanished as soon as Touya had realized who it was, but Yuki had already turned.   
  
One of Touya's dark hands reached out futilely and he almost ran after him to apologize, but stopped himself. Why was it his responsibility to make sure that Yuki's life was bliss? It wasn't Touya's fault that he was overly sensitive. It wasn't like he'd swung at _him_, was it? He snatched up his duffle bag and book bag and stalked from the room. He'd leave Yuki to pout; it'd do Touya good to be away from him for a bit anyway. Maybe if he distanced himself from the boy, this attraction would vanish. He was happily committing himself to this new plan while he made his way to his bike.   
  
Once there, he looked over to the field and saw Yuki with the archery club. He could remember Yuki saying he'd help them while he was in practice, but apparently Yuki had decided to skip riding home with him today. That was fine by him and Touya began to pull out his bike quickly, jerking it loose. As he did, he heard another small sound behind him. This time it wasn't Yuki, Touya could tell that much. He turned to see a girl from his class standing there shyly.   
  
"Good afternoon, Kinomoto san." Her name was Otahiku and he had seen her a lot, though never spoken to her. She was small and pretty, but not strikingly so. She was no model nor would she stop traffic, but she was still pretty and had a warm smile.   
  
He tried his best to smile back, though he didn't feel much like it. "Good afternoon, Otahiku, san. What can I do for you?"   
  
She dipped her head down a bit and looked at her shoe, as it nudged a small stone. Touya knew this body language. He got a girl to do this at least once a semester. "Well, I ahh.." she looked up, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes. She smiled broadly, trying to seem confidant; "I'm going to the new little café down the street with some friends… I was wondering… if you'd like to come along. I hear they make great pastries."   
  
Touya already knew the café, he'd worked at it a few times. He was about to turn her down, but as she looked up at him and smiled, one thought rung out without any provocation. _Yuki's smile is prettier, and his eye's are too…_ Before his subconscious could further compare her to his friend, he gave those thoughts a good shove. Maybe a date is what he needed. Maybe if he just got out with a **girl** he'd be fine. She was perfectly nice looking. There was nothing wrong with her smile or eyes. "Well, actually…" he began but never finished as a short, high scream sliced outward from behind him.   
  
Touya snapped around as other shouts and screams came up. In the field, he could see the archery club in chaos. Two boys ran from the group towards the school while the others crowded around someone. Someone was crouched down, with their hands to their face. It was Yuki.   
  
Completely forgetting about the marbles, the war, the girl, Touya acted on sheer instinct and ran across the grass to Yuki. He was large to say the least, so he pushed his way to Yuki quickly, kneeling before him. "Yuki?! Yuki are you all right?" He cupped his hands around the small face and drew it up so he could see. Yuki's glasses were gone and a thin trail of blood ran down his white arm.   
  
"To-ya?" he said, one eye flickering open to focus on him.   
  
"What happened?" he pulled Yuki's hand from his face and saw a long cut on his forehead. It wasn't deep but it was bleeding well. "What did this?" his voice was reaching a panicked tone and he quickly took off his blazer, pressing the one sleeve to Yuki's cut.   
  
"The string, on the bow… It just snapped. I don't know how it happened…" Touya could hear murmurs behind him, something about the bow being too old and that it should have been restrung months ago. Yuki was about to continue, when he looked at what Touya was using as a bandage and seemed to forget about his injury. "To-ya! Your coat! Oh don't, the blood will stain it horribly…" he tried to push Touya's hand away but he held his hand firm.   
  
"Too late, now." He smiled genuinely at Yuki, forgetting entirely the worries of the past day, far too busy with his concerns for Yuki. He was about to continue, when a teacher ran up with the two boys, a little first aid kit in her hands.   
  
Touya watched the older woman take his place before Yuki, stepping back and standing. Any voices that had filled his ears were drowned out by the pounding of the blood in his ears. He just stood there and watched, eager for the woman to finish. The cut was superficial but his concern over rid any other thoughts. Eventually, after an eon (by Touya's reckoning) the woman finished and Touya helped Yuki stand. "Here, I'll take you home." His large hand wrapped around Yuki's arm easily and Touya had to nearly force himself to release him.   
  
Yuki stood and one of the boys handed him his glasses, while another produced his book bag. He thanked them and then looked back up to his friend. "You don't have to do that, To-ya. I can walk."   
  
"Don't be foolish. You shouldn't be walking home with that cut. Just lemme go get my bike and we'll get going." Touya turned to see Otahiku standing there with his bike.   
  
"I figured you'd want this." She smiled up at him, but it wasn't real anymore, her eyes looked very sad. "I guessed you'd want to take your friend home."   
  
"I'm sorry. I… guess we'll have to do something… some other day," he said non-committingly.   
  
"Yeah. See you later." Her eyes told him she was just as aware as he was that "someday" wasn't going to happen. The same sadness hit him, as he realized the futility of trying to escape his feelings. In the end, he'd always come running when Yuki called. He waved to her and then pulled his bike up to Yuki, climbing on.   
  
"Come on, let's get you home." Touya tried to seem normal, but his voice was a little too quiet, some of the sadness leaking into it.   
  
Yuki looked after her and then back to Touya, not yet getting on to the bike, his hands clutched before him. "I'm sorry, To-ya, I've ruined your plans," his face fell. "You don't have to ride me home. I can walk."   
  
Touya huffed and just looked at Yuki, pushing the last bits of sorrow away. "You're not walking, you're riding home with me, and that's final. Now get on the bike. Anyway," he started as Yuki shyly conceded and got onto the back of the bike. "You know I hate going out with tons of people. I would have run screaming from the place in minutes." Yuki finally giggled at that as they took off.   
  
The rest of the ride was quiet and Touya was left to his own thoughts. The battle was over. Any bargains that were considered had been abandoned. All that remained was a broken, bloody field. There were no avenues of escape from this. He'd been dreaming of Yuki for the past month and he couldn't deny the closer than normal feelings he had towards him. That was that, and nothing would change it. Maybe over time the attraction would fade, but Touya seriously doubted it.   
  
They arrived at Yuki's house and went in. Touya asked where his bandages were and started up the stairs at Yuki's direction. Touya had never been upstairs before, as he'd never been eager to be in the house more than necessary. His own depression snuffed any curiosity about the rooms he passed and he simply made his way to the main bath, and got the bandages and ointment out of the medicine cabinet. As he closed it he found himself face to face with himself. Free of any onlookers or false hopes, he got the first good look at himself.   
  
It was pathetic. Everything about this was pathetic. He figured he must have been chosen before birth to be destined to a disastrous love life. First Kaho, now Yuki, Touya didn't think he could survive another one. The ante was raised each time, wanting Yuki hurt a hundred times more than loosing Kaho had; it was frightening concept to think how much loosing Yuki would hurt.   
  
It would kill him, Touya was sure of it. He could no more live through a shotgun blast to the head. But someday that shotgun might arrive. If Yuki ever knew, if he ever found out, he'd loose him. Touya was absolutely certain of it, he could think of no way to end their friendship faster.   
  
So this was the life he was looking at? Staying silently by his side, never revealing himself or his feelings? Could he live like that? He shook his head to clear his thoughts and straightened, resuming his game face. He didn't have a choice in the matter. He started back down the hall to the stairs. This was the life he was stuck with, like it or not, he'd have to just suffer in silence.   
  
He found Yuki sitting on the small couch, staring at his hands. He remembered the look on Yuki's face at the locker room and how Touya had been acting the whole day. Yuki looked as bad as he felt, and that just made him feel even better about himself. He walked over and Yuki looked up. His small friend tried to look less upset, but failed at it.   
  
Touya took a seat beside Yuki and Yuki turned to him, letting him remove the gauze to replace it with a new bunch. As he worked, Touya began his more than due apology. "I'm sorry, Yuki."   
  
Yuki simply shrugged. "It's okay, it didn't hurt," meaning the removal of the tape Touya had just pulled off.   
  
Touya shook his head as he continued. "No, I meant… about how I've been acting. Especially how I've been today. I've been kinda messed up over something." He sighed. "I've been a real stellar friend, and I'm really sorry." He finished taping the new bandage down, running his fingers across the white tape to make sure it was secure.   
  
Yuki smiled up at him honestly and Touya couldn't help but join him in it. Yuki made all the worries go away. "It's okay, To-ya. I was beginning to think you were mad at me. If it's something that I've done…"  
  
"No," Touya said flatly, shaking his head. "No, it's nothing you did. What's bothering me isn't your fault at all," he said honestly. Though it might be about him, it wasn't his fault and it was wrong to blame him for it. "I'm sorry I made you feel as though it was."   
  
Yuki reached up and laid his hand over the one Touya had on Yuki's bandage. Touya hadn't realized that he'd left the hand there, and Yuki leaned against it briefly and then drew it down, clasped in his own. "It's okay, To-ya. Just so long as you're not mad at me. I've been so worried; you've been so odd. If you need someone to talk to…"  
  
Touya already wasn't thinking well what with Yuki looking up at him, holding his hand, sitting so close on the sofa, and that question sent his mind reeling. Yuki was the last person alive he wanted to talk to about this. He fought hard to keep a blush from his face at the feel of Yuki's hand. "I… I'm not ready by a long shot. Maybe someday, but not now."   
  
Yuki grinned and squeezed his hand. "Okay," utterly content to wait. He was happy that Touya let him in enough to tell him that something was wrong, even if he wasn't ready to share it. "Why don't I make us a snack? I'm starving." He said releasing his hand and bouncing towards the kitchen.   
  
"You don't have to do that. I can help." Touya got up and started to the kitchen.   
  
Yuki ducked his head out the kitchen doorway to look at him. "What? You don't trust my cooking?" he asked, grinning; the offenses of the past day forgotten.   
  
"Of course I do," he stepping to the kitchen and leaned against the fridge, barring Yuki's use of it. "But running around is just going to make that cut bleed worse."   
  
"To-ya…" he grabbed the handle and pulled. His tiny form couldn't hope to budge the large boy, and he got nowhere. Touya smiled widely at the absurdity of it. "Move, you great oaf." He started to push at Touya, who simply stared at the ceiling. "You're… horrible." He stated while he pushed against him with his shoulder. "And stubborn… and impossible." He was really trying hard and Touya started to laugh while Yuki was getting a bit red in the face. "You're the hardest person to do something nice for…"  
  
As he pushed, he brought up a hand, laying it on Touya's stomach. This caused Touya to jump a bit and Yuki easily drew conclusions.   
  
"Yuki!" Touya cried out as he tried to escape Yuki's tickles. Not thinking, he banged into the table and fell, dragging Yuki down on top of him. The smaller boy was a fit of giggles, sprawled out on top of Touya. His head was on Touya's shoulder, laughing too hard to raise it. Touya didn't notice the closeness either, laughing too hard as well. Eventually Yuki raised his head and looked down at him, his glasses attempting another escape. Now Touya realized it, and somehow kept the blush away, though his expression would have made his feelings painfully obvious to anyone who cared to see. Yuki, though, didn't seem to care to, and simply looked down at his friend with all the innocence in the world, smiling like they were small children playing tag. Touya could feel his face soften as he looked up at him, and let his eyes run over his face. There he saw that the bandage he'd just taped down already needed replacing; the activity had worsened the bleed, just like he'd thought. "Oh, Yuki…" he said with an exasperated tone, brushing the bandage lightly. "What did I tell you?"   
  
Yuki reached up and touched the bandage and felt the dampness, and got up off Touya. "Well you should have let me cook instead of fighting me." He stuck out his pink tongue to further make his point in a mature manner.   
  
Touya sat up and continued to look at him. "Well, I'll go get some more gauze." He stood and considered his friend. Yuki was almost convincing as a human but not quite. Whatever or whoever had made him hadn't gotten it quite right. His skin was too pale, his hair: too white, his tongue: too pink, his eyes:… too filled with life. Real people didn't look like that. Everything about him was just a few notches outside the human range but not far enough to really be bizarre or really draw attention. Just enough to be eye catching to those attentive enough to see it.   
  
"Okay," Yuki said happily, opening the refrigerator. "I'll make our snack."   
  
Touya laughed and shook his head and headed for the door. As he stepped through, going for the stairs, he looked back at Yuki and watched him carefully gather his ingredients and lay them out on the counter, his back to him. Smiling softy, Touya watched, happy to watch forever. There was no great mystery why he'd fallen for Yuki, he couldn't imagine anyone not loving him. He was sweet and kind and generous. He was the warmest person Touya had ever known, and he filled parts of him that Touya hadn't even known were empty. _"If you find someone, grab a hold of her and don't let go, no matter what anyone says. People can spend their whole life looking for that special someone and never find it. If you're lucky enough to find that someone, don't let them go, don't repeat this old woman's mistake."_   
Touya could hear her words clearly and let them brush away the broken banners and bloody remains on the battle field that had been so brutally used throughout the day. The tattered debris were drug off, leaving the ground raw but fresh, and the sunlight, ignored the whole day, was finally seen, making the world bright and healthy. His life wasn't the nightmare he'd taken it for, not by half. He may never be with Yuki like that, but he could be with him like this, and this was still pretty damn good. He'd found his "special someone" and that was more than most could say. Yuki might not have been human and he might have been male, but he was here and Touya had him, even if it was only as a friend. He turned and headed up the stairs again.   
  
Life was good after all, who knew?   
  
  



	6. Cranes

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers. Violintide, Lily, Lilly, Equinox, Espe, and TamChonin. Thanks to the many reviews that were simply yelling at me to hurry up and write. I'm really sorry it's taken so long to update, but I was really sick for a couple weeks and then I had to make up all the work that I missed while I was sick. I should be back to my one update-per-week schedule, so no fears. Again, thanks for keeping with the fic, I hope I can keep this entertaining.   
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  


6

  
  
Homework was strewn over Yuki's living room floor. Two sets of work laid open on the traditional mat floor, sitting silently in wait for their users to return. One group of work had its book open with a pen across it. The papers and notes in this set were stacked somewhat, though a few pages were turned this was and that, and others were pulled out so that certain parts were visible. The book had little tabs of torn paper book marking other pages and one piece of paper was covered with little notations of dates, quotes, and names.   
  
The other set was more compact. The various stacks and sets of papers were closer together and more neatly arranged. The book was open to another page and instead of pieces of paper, other pages had been ear tagged for reference. The notes that laid out neatly were clean and precise, its hand writing elegant and its margins free of the little notes that had filled the ones of the other set's notes. The pencil that sat to the side of the book was well sharpened and the eraser looked as though it had never been touched.   
  
"Don't make much for me, I already had supper at home." Touya's voice floated in from the kitchen.   
  
"I won't," he said pulling out some fruit. He washed them off and began to peal and cut them.   
  
Sitting in Yuki's kitchen, watching him throw together a late snack, Touya watched, entranced, as the pale fingers turned the various fruits over, inspecting them and then positioning them to be cut. The tops from a few strawberries were plucked off easily and then the fruits were sliced quickly with a small paring knife. The red and white sections were dropped into a bowl. An apple was chosen next. After Yuki had inspected and sliced it, he pulled out a couple small oranges. Sliding his hands across their surfaces, checking for any imperfections, he deftly slipped his fingers under the skin and peeled the thick skin back. The smell of oranges immediately over powered the apples' and strawberries', even taking over the soft clean smell that was Yuki's own; a smell that Touya had memorized long ago. Once the skins were discarded, his delicate fingers slipped into the orange and opened it like a flower before the pieces tumbled apart, falling into the bowl below. Touya watched as Yuki moved on to a avocado, easily sliding the knife into the fruit till it hit the nut, then rotating the fruit to slice it down its length. He pulled the halves apart, the nut resting between them, and pulled it free with an easy yank, slightly digging his fingers into the greenish flesh. The sliced pieces joined the others as well and Yuki grabbed a white peach from the pile. Again his slim hands slid across the surface, brushing the soft fuzz until he was content with it and then halved the pale fruit as he had the avocado and sent the fragments down with the rest. As he did he reached into the bowl and found a sliced strawberry and ate it unconsciously, looking back to the pile of fruit. Yuki then scooped up a handful of blueberries and dropped them in.   
  
Watching them fall, judging if they would be enough, he didn't notice Touya stand and step over to the collection.   
  
He pulled a plum from Yuki's gathering of fruits and bit into it as Yuki turned. "To-ya!" he said in mock admonishment, tipping his head to one side and frowning deeply. Touya watched his white hair shift with him, a few errant strands straying into his eyes. Touya smirked at his friend's reprimand and pulled the plum from his mouth. He swallowed quickly enough and made a poor attempt at looking innocent.   
  
"What? You want some?" he said and his grin returned. Yuki was fun to tease, he teased back. Touya extended the remainder of the plum to his friend jokingly. "It's good…"  
  
Touya raised the fruit close to Yuki's mouth and Yuki leaned forward and took a bite of it. Needless to say Touya was caught off guard by this, but hid it well and left his hand where it was. As Yuki's teeth cut through the plum, Touya watched his lips close around it before pulling away, moist with the clear juice. While Touya could feel his temperature rise a few thousand degrees, Yuki seemed perfectly normal and chewed the bite as if considering Touya's assessment of its quality. He eventually smiled and nodded, "It _is_ good. Of course it would have been good in the salad…"  
  
Touya chuckled a bit at that and tried to calm his racing pulse. Since that nightmarish day that Yuki had got cut, he'd gotten very good at containing himself when Yuki did things like this. In one way he wished that things like this didn't happen, that Yuki had normal boundaries, but another part spent every waking moment waiting for them to happen and every night dreaming of them. The dreams were now a common happening, but the intensity had waned to a working level. Once he stopped fighting it, the dreams had become a happy fantasy and no longer disrupted his life.   
  
He had been about to say that there were still five other plums, probably just as good, when the world exploded.   
  
The sound was deafening. It eclipsed anything else in the world. The explosion of a thousand bombs could not have hoped to surpass this sound. It was not only heard, but felt; felt on every inch of his body, resonating against him and making him feel as if he was a gong that had just been struck with a sledge hammer. Not only was his hearing conquered, but it was also so overloaded that his other senses failed him for a brief moment. The world dimmed to black for only a second and then it returned, as the wave passed. Touya blinked, leaning against the counter, trying to make sense out of what had just happened. The blast had had all the force of a super nova, but as his senses returned he found the world around him relatively untouched.   
  
It had not been a physical explosion, but a magical one, one that cut across the city in an unseen pulse. Touya didn't know what had caused it, his sixth sense was too fried to pinpoint it, but he knew it had been magic and that's when his eyes caught movement before him and snapped to Yuki as the boy began to fall limply to the ground.   
  
The whole assault had lasted less than a few seconds and as Touya jumped forward to his inhuman friend, Yuki had barely begun to fall. "Yuki?!" he caught him and lowered him to the floor, cradling him carefully. While Touya would have a headache, he had no idea what that what-ever-it-was would do to Yuki. Touya felt panic rise up and grip him firmly. "Yuki?!" As he shouted, Yuki was unresponsive, a lifeless doll in his arms. "Yuki?! Can you hear me?! Yuki!?!"   
  
Suddenly Touya felt Yuki stiffen, but not in response to his pleas. He shook ever so slightly. As Yuki convulsed, Touya began to truly panic but had nothing he could do. Calling for an ambulance would do no good, they could do nothing for the tiny creature in his arms, so Touya had to wait and pray it passed. The convolutions worsened a bit and his eyes flickered open slightly, but before they rolled back leaving only white visible, Touya saw something that made him pause. Blue flashed past where amber should have been. Blue with the barest hint of lavender. Touya didn't have much longer to think on this, because just as quickly as they had come, the spasm passed, and Yuki stilled. "Yuki…" he leaned close as he held him, brushing the hair from his face.   
  
Touya felt him stir again, but only a little and then his eyes reopened. "To… ya?" Yuki still looked a little dazed, but over all back to normal.   
  
He smiled as he looked down at the amber eyes he knew so well, fighting to keep back tears. "You collapsed... How do you feel?"   
  
"I…?" Yuki looked about himself, more than a little confused. "I feel fine, I…" he sat up quickly and then caught his head in his hands. "Well, I do feel a little dizzy, I guess. But I felt fine, I swear. I can't imagine why I fainted…"  
  
Considering telling him what he was, Touya's eyes narrowed a bit, but he pushed the thought aside. Yuki was disoriented enough, no reason to upset him more. "Here," he held Yuki's arm and helped him to stand. "Lemme help you to the sofa." Yuki began to protest but gave in when his knees nearly gave out. Once he was settled on the couch, Touya went back to the kitchen to fetch the salad. He sectioned the plums and then divided up the mix into two bowls.   
  


***

  
  
Sitting quietly with Yuki on the mats he could feel his head pounding as bright sparkles danced in his vision. The blast had done a number on him and he still couldn't feel where it had come from. They were still studying, but only half-heartedly now. Touya was getting the beginning of a migraine and Yuki was still a little dazed. He heard the small boy across from him sigh softy again, and barely had to look up to know Yuki was blinking his eyes, trying to make the page focus. He was okay, just still a little dazed. Homework was a bit of a challenge, but he was working on it. _'Course,'_ Touya thought to himself, _'I'm not having an easy time either…'_ an ice pick had some how found its way in behind his one eye and was slowly growing in length, making its way back through his skull, down one side of his neck and into his spine. Even the dim light of the one lamp was beginning to truly hurt.   
  
Upon hearing Yuki sigh for the nth time, Touya stood up (albeit slowly and with one hand holding the one side of his head from exploding). "Here, why don't I open a window and get some fresh air in here. Maybe that'll clear our heads." It wasn't an utter lie; Touya thought that maybe the cooler air would, maybe, help his head (but he doubted it would make the pain of standing worthwhile). His motives were more for Yuki's well being. It was getting warm in the small living room, and Yuki never liked being too warm, and fresh air, especially breezes, always cheered him up.   
  
The window stuck a little, and the effort to open it wasn't good for his growing migraine, but he still shoved it up and took a deep breath of the cool, summer night air. The sky was bright and nearly cloud free, making the full moon very clear. For a brief moment Touya thought back to Kaho, but then let that thought drop happily as he heard Yuki's soft voice behind him. "That is nicer. Thank you, To-ya." Touya heard some shifting behind him and turned to see Yuki standing (shakingly). "Why don't I get us something cold to drink."   
  
Forgetting his headache, Touya darted over to his friend and caught his one arm. "I'll get it. You're still not feeling well. I…"  
  
Yuki cut him off with a wave of his pale hand. "I'm fine. I can make it to the kitchen without a supervisor." He teased and straightened himself and trying to look as normal as possible. "See? Now, you wait here and I'll get us a couple of sodas." With that he walked into the kitchen, disappearing from Touya's line of sight.   
  
He really did look a lot better; he even seemed better than Touya was, so he let him go. He was also fearful of looking too caring, too worried. He had to constantly balance what he wanted to do or say, with what was normal for friends to do or say. He was just lucky that Yuki seemed content with their slightly closer than normal friendship and never appeared to notice when Touya slipped up and got too close, too affectionate. Yuki was happily oblivious, but than again that was about how he lived his whole life, as far as Touya could tell. Leaning near the window, Touya looked up at the ceiling, thinking of what was above. _"…off on another trip…"_ was what Yuki had said a few days ago when Sakura asked about his grandparents. (Touya always wanted to gag her when she asked things like that.) He wondered dimly how complete this illusion was, how intricate it went. What was upstairs was still pretty much an utter mystery, as something always came up whenever Yuki went to show him his room and Touya hadn't spent much time in the house anyway up until a few weeks ago. He still didn't like it much, but he could deal. He wondered if he ever opened up the door to Yuki's "grandparent's room", if he'd find what appeared to be the room of an old couple, or just an empty room, or perhaps something else entirely.   
  
As he bounced these thoughts around in his pounding head, he heard an odd noise from behind him, out the window: a siren maybe, though very different than any he'd heard before. Touya turned to see not an ambulance or a cop car whizzing down the street, but something else altogether: a bird, a very large bird, about the size of a bus, flying over town a few streets over. His eyes narrowed in confusion, but he said nothing, Touya was accustomed to oddities, but this was odd even for him. At a loss for words, he simply watched it go past, and in quite a hurry by the looks of it. After it had passed, he turned to go back to his homework, hearing Yuki beginning to head back in, but as he did, he heard a small voice outside that he couldn't miss. He looked back quickly (earning him an extra bit of pain) and saw nothing, but he could have sworn he'd heard Sakura's voice shout something. He looked around but saw nothing, the large bird shrinking into the distance. "To-ya, I have them," Yuki said behind him, setting the two glasses down on the floor by their books. Touya hesitated a moment longer but gave up and went to sit with Yuki. They still had a page of trig homework left and it was getting really late.   
  


***

  
  
"I really don't need your help, I'm really fine," Yuki pleaded as Touya lead him up the stairs. "It was just a little slip." He had considered letting Yuki go up stairs to bed on his own, but when he'd nearly fallen on the first step, Touya had taken charge, leading him up with one arm. Yuki seemed embarrassed but not uncomfortable by Touya's touch, so he didn't listen to Yuki's arguments.   
  
"Still, after the way you went down earlier, it's better safe than sorry."   
  
He sighed, not wanting to bother Touya, but thankful for his concern. "But it's late and you have to get home."   
  
"I'll get you up there, make sure you're okay and then head home. It won't take that much time." The crested the stairs and they went down the hall, Touya following his smaller companion.   
  
"Oh, you've never seen my room yet have you?" he said looking up at him with wide, toffee eyes and then looked back down. "I'm a horrible host. I've stayed over at your house many times and I've never even shown you my room…" his voice was soft and apologetic as they stopped in front of an old fashioned, sliding door.   
  
Touya shook his head, trying to make Yuki less upset. "No problem, we just don't spend very much time over at your place. It's okay."   
  
Yuki smiled up at him and Touya forgot about his headache entirely. In fact he almost forgot about his decision not to confess his feelings, but luckily Yuki turned to open the door, thus releasing Touya from the hold his eyes had claimed (Touya almost dropped from the sudden lack of support).   
  
As Yuki stepped inside he gestured around himself at the room, "It isn't much but it's mine." Touya began to look around the small, old-fashioned room when he saw Yuki stumble, nearly falling. Touya stopped admiring the room and grabbed a hold of one of Yuki's thin arms.   
  
"Yuki?"   
  
He shook it off and tried to stand up straight again. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little woozy, that's all. I'm fine," he repeated but Touya wasn't having any of it.   
  
"Why don't I stay here tonight, just in case. It's not good to leave someone whose fainting alone," he said quickly before Yuki could argue. "What if you get worse during the night? You'd be all alone."   
  
"To-ya… you can't. There's school tomorrow and it's too late to call your father and tell him your staying here. He'll worry when he wakes up and finds you gone."   
  
He shook his head, not budging an inch. "I'll just wake up early and get home before they wake up. They'll never know I was gone." He planned on telling his father in the morning what had happened (though the abridged version) but he'd be there before anyone had a chance to worry. He knew his father was long asleep, he never stayed up waiting for him when he happened to work later at Yuki's house. His father rarely really worried; he knew where Touya was and he'd never gotten into any trouble.   
  
"But…" Yuki seemed torn, unwilling to let him risk getting in trouble for him. "But you don't have anything to sleep in. You can't fit into anything of mine."   
  
"I have an extra set of gym clothes in my duffle bag, I can sleep in those." He turned to head back out the door but looked back. "I'm not leaving you here all alone, not the way you're feeling. I'll go get my bag and you go and get changed," he said firmly, not willing to give on this issue.   
  
Yuki hesitated a bit, but then smiled. "Thank you, To-ya. I'll find a spare bed for you and then change." Touya smiled back and headed back down the stairs.   
  
About halfway down he remembered he had a migraine, and was inwardly thankful that he was sleeping here tonight; riding home with this wouldn't be very fun. After retrieving the t-shirt and shorts, he headed back up. Yuki was just re-entering the bedroom, with a bedroll in his arms. He explained that he'd found one in the hallway closet and ducked back into the room. Touya took the bathroom to change and then headed back.   
  
The small room was already darkened a bit, with only a small lamp lit. Yuki had finished straightening the other bed and looked up at him with a wide smile. "Well, at least you get to spend the night at my house for once."   
  
"Yup." Touya made his way over to the beds and Yuki switched off the light. They both crawled under their covers and it wasn't long before Touya heard Yuki's breathing slow as he slipped into sleep. Touya wished he could claim the same peace.   
  
After what seemed like hours, Touya sat up and gave up on sleeping for right now. His head hurt too badly to sleep and the two painkillers he'd taken in the bathroom had done nothing. After staring out the small windows from his bed for a bit he turned and looked about the small room. It was very nice; simple, neat, clean as the day it was built, or conjured, or whatever. His eyes rested on Yuki's sleeping form and lost all interest in the sterile room. This room was nothing like him at all; it was cold, empty, and lifeless. It only served to solidify Touya's view that Yuki shouldn't be here; it bothered him a lot to think of Yuki here alone in this fun house. He deserved to be somewhere warm and happy, somewhere with people and life; this place felt more like a stage than a home (complete with the cut out props, he thought thinking back on Yuki's vague descriptions of his grandparents).   
  
He leaned forward and brushed a bit of silver hair out of his face, savoring the rare opportunity to touch him without reservation. Yuki murmured softly in his sleep, making sounds too quiet to be understood, but enough to hear. Listening to his occasional mutters, Touya looked back to the room around him. Giving up on sleep, he turned around on the bed to see the other side of the room, though he knew there was nothing more than a wall there.   
  
Facing opposite to the way he had been, Touya froze. Settling into his new position, he simply stared, unable to do anything more. There on the wall before him, resting above Yuki's head was a delicate ink painting of cranes in the snow. The cranes in the snow. The cranes that he'd seen so many times he could've drawn them blindfolded. The cranes that had watched his midnight fantasy for all the many years he'd had it. They were right there, plain as day, painted on Yuki's wall. Staring up at the simple painting, Touya sat motionless, letting the full impact of the bit of ink on paper sink in.   
  
The feel of Yuki's arms around him welled up, soon accompanied by the taste of him and the touch of his soft lips. The dream came rushing in and Touya had to force it back into his memories in order to keep himself under control. It was the cranes, right there, right in front of him, so close he could touch them, though touching the sleeping form next to him was more where his mind was headed. Wrestling back the sensations, he tried to think rationally about this. It was the cranes, but maybe that simply meant that Yuki would be the one he'd fall in love with, it didn't mean the dream itself would come true. Maybe it was just what he'd always want; he wouldn't get his hopes up by thinking it was what he'd get. As he worked through the tumult of emotions, somewhere in the back of his mind, he noticed that Yuki had stopped mumbling at some point. Still, half dazed by the painting, Touya looked over to Yuki, and nearly jumped out of his skin.   
  
  
Gasping in the silent room, Touya darted backwards, nearly falling back in his rush, but when he stopped, half sprawled on the matted floor, Yuki lay there, utterly normal, sound asleep, though that wasn't what Touya had seen mere moments before. When he'd looked down at Yuki's sleeping face, instead he'd met two eyes, intently watching him. That was unnerving in and of itself, to expect to find someone asleep and find them watching you; but also, it hadn't been Yuki's eyes he'd met, it had been the blue ones he'd seen flash by earlier. Only this time they hadn't been just there, they were watching him, quietly, and exactly how long they'd been watching him was unknown. Touya recalled the eyes that were now lidded and processed what he'd seen. All instincts said that that wasn't Yuki, the expression behind them had been cold and calculating, lifeless. Whoever that had been, Touya was convinced it wasn't Yuki. And, Touya realized as his heart began to slow back to its normal pace, whoever they were, they were still there. He watched the sleeping figure carefully.   
  
Though it was still and looked for all the world to be asleep, he wasn't. The body language, even in sleep, wasn't Yuki. He was silent for one, Yuki always made little noises as he slept, and he was utterly still, while Yuki fidgeted through out the night. That wasn't Yuki, but who it was, that was another question. Quietly, Touya crept back towards his bed and whispered very softly, "Who's there?" He waited motionless, but no answer came. Instead, Yuki's body lost its rigidity and fell into a more natural sleeping position. Softy, Touya could hear Yuki begin to mumble softly again and the boy turned away in his sleep, snuggling closer into his blankets. At that, Touya relaxed and crawled the rest of the way back into his own bed. Whoever they were, they were gone now and Yuki was back. As troubling as this new development was, Touya wasn't worried too badly. Yuki was a mystery, so anything weird about him was kind of expected. Touya didn't know if that person was always there, or if it was just visiting, but either way, he'd watch Yuki and make sure he was okay. And of course, he still hadn't managed to find a way to tell him what he was; surely letting him stay in this empty fantasy wasn't good for him, though Touya was still fearful of traumatizing him with the truth.   
  
Now very tired, Touya crawled under his blankets and looked over to Yuki. Reaching out carefully, Touya brushed a hand across Yuki's slim shoulder and down his arm. At the contact, Yuki turned back to face Touya, still deeply asleep. Touya smiled in the dark and ran the hand gently across his cheek and then fell into his own dreams.   
  
  



	7. Acrobat

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Boko the Guitar-Playing Chocobo, brokenAngelYue, Violintide, Lily, Equinox, Espe, and TamChonin. Sorry I'm still lagging at my updates. I would love to give you a great excuse this time, but I'm afraid the best I can do is that Miyamoto is an evil person obviously plotting to derail my fic. His latest crack-like creation, Wind Waker, had me addicted faster than a forty of crack laced, coffee flavored beer. I've checked into a twelve-step program so I should be ok now, I hope.   
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


7

  
  
Touya pulled on his book bag, listening to the monster gobble down the last of her breakfast, and then moved on to his shoes. About to slip his foot in, he caught sight of a bit of pink in the darkness of the one sneaker and shook the shoe upside down. With a reluctant, downward flutter, a solitary pink petal ambled down to the parquet floor. Touya let out an annoyed sigh and yanked the shoe on.   
  
It'd been days since the petal storm at the Sakura's school and he was still digging the things out of his shoes, coat pockets, book bag, and whatever else he'd happened to bring that day. He'd had to vacuum his room after changing that night, so many of them having had stowed away in his clothes. He didn't think he'd ever see the end of them at this rate, pink confetti would follow him till the end of time.   
  
A large thump from upstairs drew him out of his musing over petals. He paused, just looking up towards Sakura's door, his senses following the small thing as it hurriedly darted about, no doubt fixing whatever had been dropped. Shaking his head, Touya drew on the other shoe and headed out the door, knowing Sakura wouldn't be far behind him.   
  
Touya wasn't sure if her and the whatever thought him deaf or simply stupid. Either way he wasn't pleased and took off with the monster rushing after him. He would have been happy to keep at a high speed, making her work for his silence as it were, but as ever he had to stop for Yuki to get on. She made little conversation as he got on, fluttering around him with the same ridiculous doe-eyed expression she had every time he was near. Touya's only hope was that he didn't look quite as ridiculous or obvious, though just as Yuki seemed utterly oblivious to his feelings, he was equally dense about Sakura's, which was all good and fine. Somewhere in the back of his mind quite fears of his sister someday succeeding in her interest lay silent but were definitely growing force. She wouldn't be ten forever.   
  
"I brought cupcakes in my lunch today, To-ya," Yuki chirped up from behind him as they pulled up to their school. "Strawberry with chocolate icing." Yuki leaned forward to deliver this news and as he spoke, his breath brushed across Touya's ear. The warm touch of air dashed any thoughts of Sakura from his mind as surely as a hammer would have and somehow Touya maintained himself enough to put the bike safely in the rack and continue the conversation.   
  
"That sounds good. I'm surprised they made it to school."   
  
Yuki giggled lightly and shoved him though it did little against Touya's greater size.   
  


***

  
  
Classes had been the same as ever and they drew his attention away from the questions about what was going on at home. At lunch, Yuki had proudly produced a box of a dozen cupcakes, (of which Touya ate two) along with his normally large lunch. Touya wasn't sure if this was how Yuki was supposed to be, or if this was some sort of a malfunction or such. He couldn't imagine someone making him to eat this much on purpose (though maybe they'd really loved to cook or something), but even that didn't sound right. Yuki spent a good deal of his time eating; Touya couldn't see someone making someone to eat like that just to entertain their cooking interest. It seemed cruel and, watching Yuki talking with some of the girls from the baking club, he couldn't imagine someone like that making something that sweet and kind. Maybe it was just a fluke, he decided, shaking his head.   
  
Turning from Yuki and his fan club, Touya looked across the elementary school playground, knowing Sakura would be heading home soon. His eyes narrowed as he watched Sakura walk out, talking to some boy he didn't know. His paranoid fears were confirmed as he pulled out some kind of board and shot a beam of magic at her, though his panic was slowed by her obvious startled, yet not hurt reaction. Touya was a good deal from the playground, but he started to run towards them. He sped up as Sakura began to shout when the boy attacked her. He'd barely laid a hand on her before Touya had snatched him up, working hard at not snapping the kid's neck. "Get your hands off of my little sister!" The impulse to kill was further fed when the brat took a swing at him, too. A wash of red passed over his vision as the thought of his sister being harmed over rid most of his logic, Touya was moments from cracking a skull, when Yuki's light voice broke his concentration.   
  
As oblivious as ever, Yuki somehow missed the brewing fight and offered the little punk one of the buns he'd gotten from the girls. Touya sighed loudly and let his arms drop, utterly deflated by Yuki's silliness. Touya had been about to start shouting at the kid again when he suddenly darted off. More than a little confused, Touya watched as he ran off. What kind of moron kid thinks they can take on me, but runs at the sight of Yuki? A quick glance at the cheerful, fluffy thing beside him confirmed that the child was insane. After a short look over the monster, to make sure she was really okay, Touya consented to let her and Tomoyo walk home without supervision, letting Yuki lead him off. He still had to cook supper tonight and then run off to work. Yuki's birthday was tomorrow too, so he'd have to be sure to remember his paycheck tonight, though he didn't have a clue what to get for him yet. It was always difficult to think of something. He'd probably end up falling back on what he'd done last year and take him out to eat somewhere.   
  


***

  
"WHAT?! That punk was by our house?!" Touya shouted after Yuki calmly relayed the events. They'd been waiting for Sakura to get here and give Yuki his present for a bit now, and Touya was getting impatient, though it was convenient that she was going to make dinner, leaving him free for the evening. Perched in the low branches of a tree, his murderous thoughts were snuffed with one look at Yuki. Happy and completely innocent, he just smiled at him, taking it all as Touya simply not wanting a boy around Sakura. The falling leaves quietly slipped downwards, lightly brushing Yuki as they fell while a few lucky ones got to land on his thin shoulders, as if the tree was throwing off bits of itself in a desperate attempt to touch him, brush his pale skin and feather light hair. Touya sympathized, but still reached down to brush the interlopers from him.   
  
He'd barely grasped a leaf when a spell ignited his sleeve. Yuki gasped in surprise and Touya jumped back to see where the thing had come from, and there standing like he owned the place, was the brat. "You little PUNK!" he shouted, about to leap from the tree and rip off a few of the child's limbs when Sakura ran up. Knowing he couldn't kill him in front of witnesses, Touya was content to glare at the suicidal brat while Sakura gave her little gift. That was until the punk started riffling through his own pockets. Assuming the kid was reaching for a spell, Touya leaned over, intent smashing him the moment he raised it, but he was caught off guard when the kid ran up to Yuki. Touya missed his coat by an inch, but stopped his pursuit when he saw the kid was giving Yuki a gift, too.   
  
After he had run off, Yuki happily showed him the chocolate the boy had given him, but Touya wasn't as air-headed as Yuki was and could put two and two together just fine. A new level of hatred flared for the new boy at the thought, possessiveness reaching a new level of intensity. He was so aggravated by this new development (inwardly swearing to crush every bone in his little hands if the boy ever touched Yuki) that as he lead Yuki off to the dinner he'd promised him for his birthday, he unconsciously draped an arm around Yuki's shoulders. By the time he brain was working well enough to comprehend what he was doing, they'd made it most of the way to his bike, though thankfully, Yuki didn't think anything was odd and didn't notice Touya's slight blush as he removed his arm casually, still talking about where they were going and about how Touya didn't have to take him anywhere.   
  


***

  
  
"To-ya, thank you again for the meal, it's very good." Yuki said over his dish of ginger ice cream. "You didn't have to take me anywhere, for my birthday. I would have been happy eating cookies at home." He laughed lightly at that, entrancing Touya yet again.   
  
He'd had to fight not to stare at the other boy through out the meal, but it was getting harder all the time, especially now that he had ice cream, the soft yellow desert slicking his lips and driving Touya to distraction. "Eh," he replied, now resorting to staring at his own plate in order to stop from staring at his friend. "It gives me a good excuse to get out of the house," he said lightly. It wasn't a really expensive restaurant, but it was good, as good as he could take him to without making it look like it was a date. Touya had agonized over how nice a place he could take him to without drawing attention to his real feelings. Half the time he felt like he was walking a high wire, with his wants in one hand and his need to appear like just a friend in the other.   
  
Beyond the wire, there was only more wire, he knew that, looking back up at his possessor while they talked of classes and such; there was no end, no platform at the other side, no goal, no safety, only more wire, an endless balancing act that he'd have to keep up forever for fear of falling from the hair-fine strand. Below him it was nothing as simple as a tank of sharks or a field of spikes, nothing as simple as death, but instead an endless fall into the void. No light, no warmth could reach into that, a hell devoid of fire and brimstone, it was a cold, dark, empty place without Yuki's smile to warm, or laugh to illuminate.   
  
Risking the void, Touya sighed and reached out with his napkin, wiping away a bit of milkshake that Yuki had gotten onto his nose. Brushing his own nose, Yuki looked surprised and confused as Touya's hand came back to his own side of the table. He held up the napkin to show the smudge of blueberry shake, "If you ate a little slower, maybe it wouldn't end up all over you," he teased, drawing attention away from his touch. Yuki, realizing that he must have been wearing that for a couple minutes, giggled and thanked him. Touya felt his balance return and continued the discussion of the upcoming math final (which Yuki was completely unconcerned about). As Yuki talked, he took another sip of his shake, returning the blue spot to his nose as if Touya had never removed it. As he started to laugh, Yuki's eyes went innocently wide and asked what was so funny, which of course only made him laugh harder.   
  


***

  
"Isn't it pretty? How sweet." After dinner, Yuki had insisted on making him some tea at his house, and as the pot boiled, he finally opened Sakura's gift. The bunny adorned rice bowl set sat before them on the counter, laid out like some prized piece of antique china rather than the dime store stuff it was. Touya nodded, agreeing it was very nice, inwardly kicking himself for not being able to think of something besides dinner for his gift. "I'll have to put this somewhere nice…" he said looking about his sparse kitchen.   
  
Honestly, Touya could have easily gotten him anything to put in his home, as it was so empty, but then again, he thought, stopping himself, he was getting drawn into the illusion once more. This wasn't a home, it was a stage, missing any little touches that would have made it a home. Only Yuki's garden felt like him, full of little things he loved and tended to, but this was winter and his flowers had all gone to sleep till spring, hiding from the cold. Touya made a mental note to try and find reasons to get him things to put in his over sized dollhouse. If Yuki had to stay in this place, he'd try and make as home-like as possible. They'd talked about going to college together, so (as long as he didn't screw up between now and then) he'd have Yuki out of this place in just a couple years and into an apartment of their own.   
  
Their own. That thought struck him and resonated like the high hum of a wine glass being rubbed. He had no delusions of being anything more than a friend, he knew full well that that apartment would have two bedrooms, not one, but if it was all he could have, he happily take it. Someday Yuki might find some girl and move away, but he'd be with him for a little while, he'd get him out of this shell, and afterwards he'd quietly step aside when Yuki found his someone. The dream came forward to whisper in his ear, but he paid it no heed. It was a hopeless wish, a pretty fantasy. "How about that?" Yuki asked, drawing Touya out of his downward thoughts, holding his hands around the newly displayed rice bowl set like one of those girls from game shows.   
  
Touya smiled, and said it looked fine, brushing away his melancholy feelings, but perhaps not quite fast enough, as Yuki looked at him oddly for a brief moment. He seemed about to say something, sending Touya scrambling mentally for an excuse, but as the teapot began to whistle Yuki darted over to catch it, the instant forgotten as he poured the hot water over the teabags.   
  
They sat easily at the little table, continuing their previous talk of a substitute they'd had for English class the other day. Touya was thankful that Yuki didn't seem to remember his odd look before, and easily fell back into the comfortable habit of just sitting and talking with Yuki about nothing at all, just enjoying each other's company. As the conversation shifted to the baking club and how they were going to have a bake sale soon, Yuki became so interested he forgot to put his cup back down, letting the steam fog up his glasses. Smiling at his own foolishness he put his little cup back on the table and removed his glasses to wipe them clean, still talking. The rare sight of him without his glasses brought up another flash of the dream, this one Touya had more trouble pushing back though he did eventually bury it again. He never had glasses on in the dream, and Touya could vividly remember kissing the soft skin of his eyelids before working down the side of his cream colored face, along his thin jaw line… He had to close his eyes a moment to regain his composer, the weight in his one hand suddenly getting extremely heavy as he fought to keep his balance on the ever-thinning wire, but had them reopened before Yuki could notice this time, or at least, almost.   
  
"Are you feeling alright To-ya? You look tired." He reached out and laid a fine hand on the side of Touya's face, the coolness of it eliciting images of satin, his soft clean smell wafting up at him, sending Touya struggling to keep himself on the thin wire, the wants suddenly taking on the weight of a small star. Even if by some miracle he did keep the two hands balanced, surely the wire itself would snap if this kept up.   
  
"I'm fine, just maybe a little drowsy after that dinner," he said off-handedly, leaning back from Yuki's touch. He knew it was a mistake when he did it, but he couldn't think what else to do; if he'd let Yuki continue to touch him Touya would've eventually snapped and kissed him, but the flash of hurt he saw behind those newly polished glasses made Touya almost think that would have been better. "It was good but heavy," he continued, stretching, trying to make it look like he hadn't been trying to move away from Yuki's touch, but had only moved.   
  
He wasn't sure if he bought it, but Yuki let the matter drop either way and finished his cup, nodding. "I guess I've kept you long enough. It is getting late and that _was_ a big meal…"  
  
"No, no. It's okay, I'm sorry I zoned out back there. I'm fine really." _'Good job, genius,'_ he mentally berated himself. He _had_ hurt Yuki's feelings and now he was backpedaling, thinking that Touya wanted to leave. "Honest."   
  
"I don't want to keep you… You don't have to stay", he said, picking up the empty teacups, trying to smile. Unfortunately Touya had long since learned the difference between a real smile and one of these; these were painful for him to see at this point, a twisting of the most beautiful, honest thing in the world into a sad lie.   
  
Daring the void below him, he reached out and caught Yuki's small hand in his own, stilling the hurried gathering of cups. Surprised, Yuki looked up at him, his bright brown eyes meeting his own, catching his own, like a butterfly under glass, pinned down and frozen in flight, Touya ceased to be a person for a moment, but instead was only an abstract thought, an impulse and nothing else. He could have lost himself forever in those warm pools that rested behind glass of their own, but by some unbelievable force of will, he drug himself back into being and found words, "Why don't we take a walk or something, maybe that would wake me up." He smiled honestly, not wanting to leave his keeper's side.   
  
The initial surprise at Touya's touch faded into a smile, this one beautifully true, and Yuki nodded, gathering the cups into one hand and the teapot in the other. "That sounds nice, it's a pretty night. Let me put these in the sink and we'll go."   
  


***

  
  
The clear night was silent and took on the feel of one of those post-apocalyptic stories where everyone in the world is gone but the hero and perhaps one or two others. The midnight wonderland was as uninhabited as the moon: theirs alone to explore and claim. They walked slowly down this or that street, turning down a narrow alley or up a wide avenue. For hours they walked, oblivious to the winter cold, not seeing the white clouds that followed their words, talking about simple little things of no consequence.   
  
After long enough, they found their way again to Yuki's porch and back into the warmth of the dollhouse. It was very late by now, too late for there to be any point in Touya going home tonight, so they decided he'd stay the night again and after a brief search for a spare bed and the retrieval of the gym clothes that Touya had left there last time, they finally fell to sleep, Touya staying awake only long enough to brush his hand across Yuki's hair before slipping away himself.   
  
  



	8. Witching Number

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Lilly, Esme, Pixie Goddess, Lily, Violin Tide, Seph Lorraine, and TamChonin. Sorry I'm *still* lagging at my updates. I try hard to keep up but schoolwork being what it is (ie 14 hour days in a computer lab) I don't have much time to anything save sleep.   
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


8

  
  
Touya straightened experimentally after having drawn his t-shirt over his head. Carefully moving his weight onto his left foot, he tested the ankle's strength. It had been a couple weeks since the incident at the park (he still didn't know what the monster had been apologizing for, but he didn't think it was the pancakes). The oddities in the house were getting more frequent all the time: strange noises, Sakura constantly doing some song and dance to cover something up, and the regular commotion coming from her room that no one seemed to think he could hear. Even now the soft sounds of a tv with the volume turned down (but down enough) could be heard. Whatever it was, it obviously severely overestimated the thickness of the walls.   
  
Content with the healing of his ankle, Touya made his way down the hall, breakfast waiting below. As he passed the monster's room he noticed the door had been left slightly ajar. Carefully he looked through. What he could see was little as the door wasn't open very far, but the sound of furious button smashing could be heard, even if the gamer was unseen. Through the small crack he could see her desk, a mess as ever, with papers all over and one of her drawers left absent-mindedly open. He was about to head down, shaking his head, when his eyes caught a flash of red. Looking back, he saw that under the papers was the "house guest": the book his father had brought home all those months ago (nearly a year back now). His blue eyes narrowed as he felt out at the book and found that most of the voices weren't there now. Troubling to say the least, Touya suppressed his urge to barge into the room and take the mostly emptied book away from his sister and instead simply filed the fact away as he headed for breakfast.   
  
Today was a Saturday and he amazingly didn't have work all day. Yuki was going to come over and they were going to spend the day trying to do their calculus homework after heading over to Yuki's and do some pruning in his garden (he'd help Touya with his spring cleaning next weekend). Thankfully spring had returned and brought Yuki's flowers with it.   
  
He'd been looking at a little pond that was at the gardening store last time they'd been there for plant food and Touya was trying to find a way to get it for him without it looking like too large of a gift. He thought it would look good back there and it meant more time spent in the backyard, versus in the house (which he still barely tolerated).   
  
The monster announced that she would be spending the day at Tomoyo's again and, after inhaling her food, she bounded back up the stairs to get her things. "So…" he began once him and his father were alone. "Brought anything new home from the university, lately? It's been a while since the last time. You've always got something around here."   
  
The older man shook his head, gathering up the plates. "No, not for about a year now I think. Though the funniest thing is, I can't remember where I've placed the last item." He shrugged and smiled back at his son. "I suppose it will turn up eventually, it couldn't have walked away on its own." With that he walked out of the room to get started with his weekend chores. Touya almost said something, mouth agape and hand raised to stop his father, but he could feel the doorbell about to ring, it was Daidouji-san to get Sakura.   
  
Shaking his head yet again, he walked over to the door. Once there he waited, arms crossed, for the bell to actually ring, when it had he waited the appropriate amount of time and opened the door for the smiling girl. He'd learned at a young age that it unnerved people if he answered the door before they rang. He yelled up for the monster and waited some more while she tore down the stairs. As she ran past, wishing him a good day and saying she'd be home before dark, he noticed her backpack was open and the stuffed animal was sitting within. Looking in he causally asked, "You taking that thing with you again? Aren't monsters your age normally over carrying around toys?"   
  
"I am not a monster!" she shouted, making a good show of pouting and left in a huff, eager to get the backpack out of his range of vision.   
  
As she ran out, Yuki was just coming up the stairs. "Good morning, Sakura-chan, Daidouji-san."   
  
"Morning Yukito-san." Sakura chimed with Daidouji-san echoing her. She went so gooey that she nearly tripped on her skates as she left, the other girl giggling softly. Dimly Touya could hear the toy mumble something as well from within the bag.   
  
He simply watched them go with a disbelieving look on his face. His whole family was insane. "Mad. They're both mad," he mumbled mostly to himself, nearly forgetting Yuki was there.   
  
Yuki looked up at him blankly. "What?"   
  
He opened his mouth to maybe try and explain the ridiculous things that were going on in his home when he realized who he was talking to, and what _he'd_ brought home. Clicking his mouth shut, realizing he was in no position to throw stones, he just shook his head. "Never mind, lets get going."   
  


***

  
  
"I really don't think your grandmother would mind a little pond. It'll take up almost no space and if she doesn't like it, we can always remove it." Talking Yuki into the pond was difficult enough (it would take lots of work, it would take time, it wasn't really necessary), but convincing an imaginary grandmother was worthy of pulling hair. "It really wouldn't be that much work, I'm sure we could put it together in a few days…"  
  
"We have class and homework. We don't have time to spend days on a silly pond,"   
  
"It wouldn't be that much work, it'll be fun and we usually just sit around after our homework is done, anyway." Of course that was only on days that Touya didn't work but he keep that part quiet, hoping Yuki wouldn't think of it.   
  
"What about your work? You usually work in the evenings, we can't put in a pond if you're working."   
  
Touya grimaced slightly. How could Yuki be so utterly clueless and air-headed on some things and on others his mind worked like a steel trap? "I can take off work for a few days, it really wouldn't hurt much."   
  
Yuki just shook his head, his silver hair falling in his face a bit. "I can't ask you to miss work, you never miss work. I'll be fine without it."   
  
Letting out an aggravated sigh, Touya continued his argument. Sure it was true he never took off work but Yuki was worth missing a few days' wages. "Missing three days of work will not kill me, a break would probably be nice. Honest Yuki the pond wouldn't be any trouble to put in."   
  
"But what if my grandmother doesn't like it when she gets home; its her house I really shouldn't do anything as major as a pond."   
  
"If she doesn't like it we can take it out, no problem. I'm sure she wouldn't mind," he said for the tenth time. Every time they circled back to the grandmother making Touya feel the need to scream. "It really wouldn't a problem either way. If you want it, why don't we just get it?"   
  
"It's expensive. I really couldn't…" They'd been having this argument the whole time they'd been in the garden store (about an hour at this point) and the sales lady was beginning to have trouble controlling her giggles.   
  
Unamused, Touya thought that at least one person was finding this a fun way to spend the afternoon. It was expensive, but not too expensive. He could easily afford to buy it for him, the trouble was, how to get it for him without it looking like too large a gift was the issue. Surely Yuki wasn't that naive. "It isn't that expensive. Is it just the cost that stopping you? Because, the work really isn't going to be a problem." Yuki didn't actually answer but seemed to stammer a bit, wringing his hands. "I'll consider that a yes," and, committing to the decision, Touya reached out and grabbed the pump set. It was heavy but he could still hold it one hand and he carried it towards the counter.   
  
"To-ya!" Yuki raced after him. "You can't buy that for me, it's too expensive. I can't let you spend your money on me."   
  
Touya simply snorted and drew out his wallet. "Let me? I'd like to see you stop me." He grinned down at the far smaller boy with a mischievous look he usually saved for Sakura.   
  
Yuki simply stared in shock, mouth agape having lost any and all control of the situation. Eventually he closed his mouth, lowering his head in defeat, the sales lady had to really work to keep from laughing at the scene. Once it had been thrown into a bag with the seeds and little spade that Yuki had come here for originally, Touya dropped the items into Yuki's surprised arms. "Well, you just gonna stand there looking surprised or are you coming? We've gotta dig a big hole."   
  
Remembering himself, Yuki jogged after his friend and Touya could hear his light footsteps quickly coming up behind him. It didn't take long for Yuki to be walking next to him and once they got to the bike, Touya tied the large bag to the rack. Heading off, Yuki perched behind him, he felt Yuki squeeze his shoulders a bit tighter, "Thank you, To-ya."   
  
Fighting back a blush and sudden urge to hug him, Touya simply shrugged and said off handedly, "Don't mention it."   
  


***

  
"I don't think I've ever been this dirty," Yuki said as he tried to wash off his hands enough to set some water to boil for tea. They'd been working outside for the whole day, no homework had gotten done at all. In the past hours, they'd not only got a good-sized hole dug, they'd also gotten the liner down and most of the rocks in place. The pump was to run a little water fall that Touya had already figured out how to power and get water to. (That was tomorrow's project while Yuki decided where he wanted the rocks and plants placed.) In the working, they'd gotten extremely dirty; Touya was covered head to foot in mud and Yuki wasn't much cleaner. In retrospect they both decided they should have picked a day when there hadn't been much rain lately.   
  
Afraid to touch anything, Touya stood in the middle of the kitchen barefoot, as even his socks had been dirty. "I can't believe we got this muddy," he said looking down at himself. "The hole wasn't _that_ big."   
  
Yuki shook his head, finally getting his hands clean. "Nope. I think we're wearing everything we dug up." He looked back to Touya after setting the pot on the burner and giggled. "You're even worse than me. Your gym clothes are still here, if you'd like to clean up and change."   
  
Touya nodded, his one set of gym clothes was now a permanent addition to Yuki's house. "Yeah, I don't want your house covered in mud."   
  
As he turned to head up the stairs, he heard Yuki behind him, "There should be plenty of towels in the bathroom. I'll ah… I'll get cleaned up when you're done."   
  
Touya paused but nodded quickly enough, "Sure thing, I won't be long."   
  
It hadn't occurred to him, but it would have been more logical for them to just get cleaned up at the same time, it was just a bath; but Touya had always been thankful that they hadn't ever showered together for gym since Yuki didn't participate in any sport. It would be more than a little problematic and Touya was thrilled that Yuki was just going to wait for him to finish. He was running on that thought as he opened the bathroom door.   
  
Yuki's bathroom was traditional like the rest of his house. No modern shower, there was a hand held shower and a large tub. He wasn't going to take the time for a bath, so he just stripped off the muddy clothes and washed off in the spray. The tiles felt cold under his feet and he kept standing despite the stool there; he was used to the shower at home. Though he wasn't sure how he'd gotten mud in his hair, he scrubbed that out too and, after he was sure he'd gotten the last of the dirt and sweat, he turned off the water and stepped out onto the small mat.   
  
There were more than enough towels in the closet, all neatly folded and pristine white, as if they'd been bought yesterday. Yuki's entire house looked brand new, even though he'd been there for nearly two years now. As he dried off, he wondered idly if the towel was even real, or if the entire house was some great illusion, nothing but smoke and mirrors. And what would happen to those illusions when he eventually told Yuki the truth? Would the whole house vanish in a puff of smoke? He didn't think Yuki would miss anything in the house too much (surely the things he'd been given would remain at least), but Touya genuinely wished Yuki's garden would stay, it was the only thing in the house Yuki seemed to really love. That was just one of the fears that kept Touya silent.   
  
He'd decided to wait till they were graduated and out of here, but sometimes it felt very wrong to play along with it, like today. Her was lying to Yuki, he knew that, but which was better, the happy dream or the empty reality. He didn't have anything or anyone else right now; to pull the rug out from under him seemed malicious and even dangerous. What would Yuki do if he knew the truth? Surely it would be more than a little upsetting…. but was it right to wait all that time to tell him when they were moved out, making himself Yuki's only support? It seemed like he was setting Yuki up to depend on him, and he didn't want that. After telling him he had no one in the whole world, he'd have no choice but to stay with Touya, he'd have no one else. Touya stood there, holding his shirt in his hands, unable to decide. He didn't know what the right thing was and he was terrified of hurting Yuki. His shirt still clutched in his hands, he started to pull it on as he opened the bathroom door; he couldn't stand around all day worrying about this, Yuki had to get cleaned up too.   
  
In fact Yuki was standing right in front of him.   
  
He jumped and so did the smaller boy, "Yuki, you startled me. I was just about to call for you."   
  
"Gomen, I was just coming up to get a change of clothes ready, since the tea is done." He lowered his head but Touya thought he might have caught a faint dusting of rose on his porcelain cheeks. Too fast to tell, Yuki ducked into his room in search of clothes. "I've already set out the cups so just help yourself, I'll be down in a few minutes."   
  
Not overly eager to leave, Touya leaned into Yuki's room. "You mind if I stay here tonight, I can't walk home in this," he said holding up the still unworn, gym shirt.   
  
His clothes in hand, Yuki shook his head, "No of course not, we can wash them tonight and leave them to dry." Faint as it was, Touya was sure he caught a blush on Yuki's face. Enjoying the reaction he was getting, Touya casually held his position in the doorway. "I'll…" he paused a moment before Touya. The doorway was wide enough for Yuki to pass by him, but it would be tight. "I'll just be a minute," he said quickly as he slipped past Touya, the questionable blush deepening enough to confirm its existence for Touya and as he closed the bathroom door behind himself, Touya smiled a bit, looking down at the shirt in his hand.   
  
_'Was Yuki actually blushing because I was shirtless?'_ The thought alone was intoxicating to Touya and immediately addictive. He would have to find other reasons to leave his shirt off in the future and see if he got the same reaction. If he did… well then that opened up an entirely new avenue. Perhaps the high wire act wouldn't be as endless as he'd thought. Reluctantly but still smiling a bit, he pulled the shirt on and headed downstairs.   
  


***

  
  
Tuesdays are thrilling days, they really are. Yuki's pond was long since put in and so far Touya hadn't had a chance to try his idea out again on Yuki, though he was planning on staying over at Yuki's this week, again. The day drug on without much incident and Touya was happy to hear the bell finally ring for lunch. He had an errand to run at the elementary school before he ate, and Yuki said he'd tag along. Sakura had been in so much of a rush to get to school early, she'd forgotten her flute. Luckily he didn't think she needed till the afternoon.   
  
The day was bright and cheery. Obviously oblivious to the blandness of Tuesdays, it tried it's best to be utterly wonderful, dazzling the world with bright clear sunshine that happily danced through the new spring leaves and blossoms. The whole world smelled and felt new and clean, the scent of spring showers still in the air. Soft and new, the grass on the lawn was springy under his foot and he could hear Yuki's smaller feet rustle through the blades, never quite lifting his feet totally clear of it as they talked. They had a calculus test today though Yuki was happily unconcerned. Touya at times found that effortlessness disgusting, though at least Touya didn't have to study as hard as some other students he knew.   
  
Yuki was never very concerned about anything at school and quickly veered the topic to things he found more interesting, like the bake sale the drama club was going to run soon. Touya laughed as Yuki went over everything that the club head had told him in intricate detail. Yuki was really funny sometimes. He was glad Yuki loved eating as much as he did, he spent enough of his time doing it. Off-handedly Touya brought up a new restaurant that had just opened. It looked good and was within the price range that he'd long ago decided was safe to take Yuki to. He figured he'd have to mention the place a few more times before asking him to go (that was how he usually handled it).   
  
They were still discussing the place as they reached the fence. Luckily Sakura was practically right there, so he just shouted over. "You have your flute test today, don't you?!? You left this in the foyer!" She'd just started running over to him when the lady she'd been talking to stood up and looked over at him, bringing the world to a grinding halt.   
  
He'd been so immersed in Yuki he hadn't felt her at all and now that he had, he found himself almost forgetting Yuki even existed.   
  
There she was, just standing there, smiling at him with the same maddening and perfect smile she always had. After all this time, she was back, standing right before him. Long russet strands flowed around her with the easy breeze, concealing and revealing her perfect, pale face, her rich brown eyes. A vision pulled from his memories and brought to life, she looked no different than the day she'd walked out on him, destroyed him, shattered him utterly with three words. There she was, as if no time had passed, as if nothing had changed, as if she had never unraveled his soul as effortlessly as pulling a loose strand on a sweater. A smile. There she was, breaker of walls, the beautiful creature that had haunted him since the day he'd met her. "Ka…ho…?"   
  
"You've grown, Touya."   
  
There she was, just standing there, smiling there, being there. There she was…, and Touya felt himself shatter anew.   
  
Three words. Three more words. Thrice, thrice, and thrice, again.   
  
  



	9. Scars

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Esme, Pixie Goddess, Lily, Dog, Elihice, and TamChonin. I've GRADUATED!!! YAY! Throws confetti!!! Here's a thanks to everyone that's still reading this painfully slow thing. I am now utterly free of my school work and baring some enormous, great job, I am responsibility free. YAY!   
  
Oh and in late response to Pixie, the poem on my profile is mine actually. It's pieced together from a few of my favorite poems and such. Thanks for the compliment. *beams*   
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


9

  
  
  
Its funny how quickly things can change. A bright clear world that makes perfect sense, that fits everything you need, everything you want: a perfect dawn with all forms of possibilities all around you, casting its light across space, when all of a sudden the light flickers, halts mid-rise and a hand snatches it back down beneath the horizon.   
  
That new darkness, that second night is deeper than the first one; colder, far more empty and hopeless than any other night ever was, and not from actual worsening, but rather because you have the tangible memory of what you've lost, or more precisely, what you almost had. Empty hands, still partially closed from the reflexive grab at the stolen sun, still outstretched before you taste the cold air as it wicks away the residual warmth of the brief light. Standing there, you may try all you wish to commit the feeling to memory, the golden heat that had touched you if only for a moment, but in the end the night wind brushes it away effortlessly, and just like that....   
  
  
...it's gone.   
  


***

  
  
Sounds unbidden, unacknowledged, and uncomforting filtered through his cottony mind. What at one point could have passed for consciousness had been scrambled by her deafening whisper. Thought and reason were luxuries of the sane, a group that he had been stripped from. Blankly he stared at his large, dark hands not seeing them really, blinded by images he had happily forgotten, blinded as auburn strands drowned out silver ones.   
  
Blind and deaf, Touya was held in the second night, as the icy wind numbed him and wicked away all memories of the dawn.   
  
Why come back now? Why come back at all. Why not just leave him to his life or what was left of it. Hadn't he been rebuilding that life, hadn't he been putting the shattered pieces back in place? He could remember that he had but at the moment it seemed a pointless task. She'd said she would come back but somehow he'd pushed that aside, not believing a word of it, the circumstances around it too impossible. But she was back, scattering him again. The urge to curl in on himself as a child was only stilled by the helpless numbness that had claimed him. Still, memories of her blotted out the world. Her scent, her touch, her taste, overwhelmed anything else.   
  
And yet, somewhere in that daze of pain and love, a coffee cup made it's way into his vision. "My treat."   
  
He dimly said thank you and continued to stare, though the haze was cleared a bit by the sound of his soft voice.   
  
Touya's wanderings were brought further into the light as Yuki spoke again. "Mitsuki Sensei was really pretty, wasn't she?" He almost dropped the cup at the mention of her name, shaken by her presence and suddenly feeling slightly guilty for thinking of those memories. He looked away from Yuki, too conflicted to even know what he should think or feel about anything as Yuki innocently rummaged through his lunch bag. "You don't want to talk about it?" he paused in his quest for a roll to ask, looking a bit concerned.   
  
Finally looking up at him Touya felt most of the numbness fade, Yuki's warmth too complete to ignore. As ever, he disarmed him and made worries seem small. Touya snatched the roll from his small hand and began to eat it. "I'll tell you later." Honestly Touya wasn't all too thrilled with the idea of telling Yuki about his old flame, some how it seemed awkward to say the least, but as ever Yuki was contented with that and continued with his oversized meal.   
  
Sometimes he wished Yuki wasn't.   
  


***

  
  
The concrete was damp under his shoes, the earlier rain still left the colors of the world dark and slightly glossed. The sound of the concrete, the scraping of small bits beneath his soles had a thicker sound though his own panting drowned it out. The cars' headlights reflected on the street but Touya barely registered it, ignoring his eyesight for everything but vague recognition of things like curbs, telephone poles, and trucks. His other sense told him where Sakura was; all he had to do was focus on it.   
  
Radar was bad word for it; he's never liked using it. When he'd been little he'd always figured it was something closer to what eccolotion would be like, a fully three dimensional perception of everything around him. Vision was too limited to rely on, as it not only depended on which way you were looking, but also by anything that might be in your way. Touya could "see" Sakura perfectly, though she was blocks away, with more than a few buildings between them. He could also "see" Yuki too (he always kept subconscious tabs on those he cared about). He wondered where Yuki was going at his hour, but he'd check on that later. Right now he had to find out why Sakura was so late.   
  
He could feel her clearly, that was a good sign. For a bit there she'd been lost in this much larger mass, something Touya didn't recognize. It felt a bit like the "house guests" but bigger. Playing ignorant was getting a bit old, though he'd decided to let Sakura do what she had to, just so long as he was able to watch and make sure she didn't get into something she couldn't handle. Loosing her into one of these things wasn't a pleasant feeling at all.   
  
He kept up his speed, barely missing an old woman as he came around one corner. It wasn't that he hadn't known she was there, he'd picked her up blocks away, but because he'd startled her and she'd tried to move out of the way, directly into his path. He should have slowed at the corner, that's what he normally did to avoid stuff like that, but he wasn't thinking about much beyond the little spark that was his sister, now three blocks away. He could feel other bright sparks near her, but paid them no mind, he wasn't even very sure where he was at this point. He rounded a corner and finally could see her. "Sakura! Where the heck-!"  
  
As he approached she spun around started sputtering out a million excuses, none of which were said slowly enough for him to understand. He was about to continue with his yelling, when one of the bright points stepped in front of her. "A lot happened today, please don't scold her."   
  
"Kaho…" anything else he might have said was lost in the avalanche of emotions that had swept over him  
  


***

  
  
Emptiness, nothingness is by definition a thing without weight or substance, in fact it is no thing at all, an absence of things or people, and yet… And yet somehow, by some perversion of physics, this no thing has weight and density unlike anything else. Touya laid motionless on his bed as the no thing filling his room pinned him down through the night. It threatened to suffocate him, crushing his chest and leaving no room for air in the room anyway. Nothing was a thing Touya had in abundance.   
  
He gasped in the dark room, like a fish thrown onto the deck of a fisherman; filled with the same frightening certainty that a far worse fate than drowning in the air was awaiting him. He lay curled in on himself, clutching at a phantom wound as if he were truly gutted and left for dead. Imagined or not, the wound ran deep, deeper than he had let himself admit for quite a while. Yuki had simply anesthetized the wound and patched it together with clumsy stitches; this wound was too deep, too real to heal and time had done nothing but let it fester. It would never heal and the nothingness that held him throughout the night was the only thing that ever would. In the end, only the nothing stayed, while everyone else left him behind. This was his life, this was all he would ever have, an empty room.   
  
He wished she had left him to his solitude, left that faint glimmering hope that maybe he'd find a life. If she has to be gone, trading him for some far better man, someone infinitely more valuable than him… if she had to be gone then he wished she'd just go. He'd finally rid himself of the dreams of her and now she was back, back to rub in his face how happy she was with her new shiny life and his replacement: the faceless, nameless wonder. He curled tighter as nothing weighted on him a bit heavier.   
  
As ever, she'd gotten what she wanted, he could practically smell it on her, her light vanilla perfume not nearly enough to hide it. Like a locus, she'd swept through his life and taken what she wanted caring nothing for his feelings, leaving him barren and cold, stripped bare of all preconceptions of happily-ever-afters. He would have died for her, and in the end, he wasn't even worth letting down easy, she'd simply dropped him like a bored child, caring nothing for the hard floor so very far below. She'd let him believe everything was perfect, and why? Because she'd wanted to have as much fun as possible, damn him and his silly feelings, damn him and his love. He'd been amusing but obviously meant nothing else in the end. She smiled as she told him she was leaving, she smiled as she told him she was leaving *him*, she smiled as she boarded the plane… She'd smiled as she told him she didn't love him anymore. Damn him and the shattered pieces she left of him, damn him for trusting that smile that saw no further than its own pleasure, its own wants. Damn him and his silly notions.   
  
Not once did she seem sorry for the pain she so happily inflicted, instead she seemed quite pleased with herself for her trick that had kept him fun till she had to go. He didn't understand why she bothered telling him she was leaving at all rather than just packing up and moving while he was at work. Why bother to tell him? She didn't care what pain it caused or what promises her kisses had made. All that mattered was she had her fun till someone better rolled along, how was it her fault if Touya believed she really loved him? It's his fault for being so gullible. Damn him.   
  
He turned to bury his hot face into his now damp pillow, still clutching at his stomach in the darkness as the nothing held him. He was alone, and he always would be.   
  


** *

  
  
Touya felt like he was in daze. He wasn't sure if he was going up or down, or maybe he was on some sideways, slightly askew downward spiral. Maybe. But then where was the spiral leading him to? That was the magic question and he truly had no clue. At one moment he was standing before Kaho and desperately pushing down the impulse to hold her and never let go, and the next he was looking over a Yuki and forgetting that Kaho existed at all, biting back the urge to hold him just as long. He felt like a ping-pong ball, sent bouncing between two forces he had not hope of controlling, let alone understanding.   
  
He looked up at Yuki over his homework and sighed, he didn't know whether to scream, throw himself out a window, or maybe just at Yuki. His will was feeling very weak these days. It was probably only his uncertainty over his own feelings that kept him on his side of the table. He instead went back to blankly staring at his hands.   
  
Imagine his surprise when a smaller, paler hand entered his view, grasping his own. "To-ya?"   
  
Touya looked up to meet a pair of worried, amber eyes. "Are you okay? You look… off." Touya screwed his face up in a pained expression, still not looking forward to talking about Kaho, and looked away from his friend. Guilt over these feelings was another matter that made this difficult. Whether telling him about Kaho would hurt him, or would bring nothing but sympathy and no other reaction, it wouldn't be good. "It's okay, you don't have to talk." Yuki got up from the little table they'd been working on. "Why don't I get us some drinks?" he said lightly.   
  
Touya reached out to grab his hand but missed by mere centimeters as Yuki darted into the kitchen. He watched him go and then resumed his wallowing. Now not only was he miserable, but so was Yuki. No reason for them both to be upset he reasoned and buckled down to finally tell him. As the cup found its way in front of him he looked up to Yuki's smiling face, and quickly looked down to his own drink. It was another of those painful, fake smiles that effected Touya like nails on chalkboard. "If you don't mind hearing me ramble for a bit, I'd appreciate a friendly ear."   
  
"Of course. You can tell me anything, To-ya." His words were joined by a true smile that only worked to further destroy Touya's carefully built will power. He broke the eye contact by looking back at his drink as he took a deep breath and tried to find a way to explain the disaster that had preceded Yuki.   
  
"Kaho, Mitsuki Sensei and I… we were seeing each other before she left Japan. We were seeing each other for over a year, in fact. I'd become very… attached to her, but I guess the feeling wasn't as mutual as I thought." He sighed trying to gather what was left of his wits, still not having looked up from his glass. "I met her before she even started at my school, really; ran into her on the street. She can see things like I can, plus she can 'guess' at the future.   
  
"She seemed a perfect fit. I didn't have to explain anything to her, I didn't have to make excuses, or try not frightening her. It just worked; it just felt right. She felt right." Another pause, this one longer. A truck jack couldn't have gotten Touya to raise his head at that point, not daring to look at Yuki's face, half out of embarrassment, half out of fear of what he'd see there. This was entirely new ground for him; his emotions were usually quite happy in the box he'd shoved them into. But somehow Yuki always made them restless and long for daylight, demanding freedom from the case they'd always been safely hidden in. "I was ready to spend forever with her. I really was. She was everything; she made me feel whole."   
  
He set the drink down quickly, feeling jittery and taken over by the impulse to flee, but the need to curl against Yuki, find at least some small bit of comfort there drew him as well, thus holding him stationary for a bit longer. "But things didn't work out that way. In the end, she left and dumped me, flat. Said that she'd come back around now, and a long list of other predictions…" for the first time since this started he managed to look up at Yuki and somehow, a small smile found him.   
  
How he could go from being near tears to smiling with only a look at him? It boggled Touya completely. From day one he'd had this effect on him, and so far the effect had only intensified. Yuki was so perfect and kind, Touya both wanted to protect him and at the same time, be protected by him. He needed some protection of late, protection from his own stupid feelings. How could he care so deeply for Yuki and still get all cluttered up with Kaho?   
  
"And somehow, all the predictions came true, in the end. No matter how much I fought against them." He reclaimed the glass, looking away from Yuki's sympathetic face for a moment. "Her just being back, it's dredging up a lot of unhappy memories, things I wanted to forget, feelings I thought were gone..."   
  
"She meant a lot to you, ne? It's hard to let go of people that mean a lot to you, no matter how much they've hurt you, abandoned you." He reached over and laid his hand on Touya's again, but this time Touya turned his hand over and grasped it, not wanting to let it flit away again. Yuki's eyes narrowed a bit, and Touya thought that maybe he'd caught a hint of a blush, but it was hard to tell. He just kept his grip as Yuki squeezed back. "It'll be okay."   
  
Touya looked up and smiled back at Yuki's gentle face. "Thanks, I…" He was suddenly cut off by a large crash upstairs and he unconsciously drew his hand back, looking up at the ceiling.   
  
"Sakura isn't here, is she?" Yuki asked, staring up as well. "I thought I heard something…" Touya's face twisted as he felt out the stuffed toy. _Couldn't the damn thing ever just be quiet?_ If this kept up and their dad would find it, and Touya was sure that would be a long and involved discussion that he was getting itchy to hear. He was beginning to consider stalking up there and telling the stupid thing to stop banging around, when Yuki's voice drew his attention again. "Where did Sakura go?"   
  
"Field trip to the sea," he said off handedly, turning from the ceiling to Yuki again.   
  
"Then Mitsuki Sensei must be with her?" Touya's face tightened a bit at the sound of her name, despite what they'd just been talking about and Yuki flashed him one of his perfect smiles. "Thank you for telling me about Mitsuki Sensei." Touya held in his embarrassed blush, but thought that maybe a bit of it leaked out. "Did she really return to Tomoeda when she said she would?" At Touya's numb nod, he continued. "She's really very unusual, isn't she?"   
  
Yuki's comfort with the subject bothered him, even though he tried to reason it away. He ran over her one particular prediction in his head, still not sure of anything. _The next time we meet, you and I will both be in love with different people._ That's what she's said. The thing was, she never said if that love would be shared, or one-sided. "Yuki…"  
  
"Yes?" he asked, wide eyed, the picture of innocence.   
  
"Next time…" he started but Yuki grabbed one of the little sandwiches he'd made and stopped him before he could continue.   
  
"This is plenty for me to eat," he added flippantly, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.   
  
Touya could have collapsed, to come that close only to be stopped by Yuki misunderstanding and thinking he was talking about food. Sometimes Yuki had a one-track mind, and that was all there was too it. "That's not what I was talking about…" Touya stopped before he could finish, there was no point, now wasn't the time anyway. Shaking his head at Yuki's questioning look, he went back to his homework, partially grateful he'd been stopped. The results that could have had weren't worth the possible gains. Better to stay quiet till he was surer of how his confession would be accepted. The thought of losing Yuki made any pain he'd felt from Kaho look like a walk in the park. He couldn't even dream of any happiness in that void, the void he'd almost forgotten about, that and the hair fine wire he was till on. Neither of them could be forgotten. Losing Yuki wasn't an option; he honestly didn't think he could survive it.   
  


***

  
  
The fair was filled with tons of people, all trying to get somewhere but not really going anywhere. These things really weren't his cup of tea, the sheer chaos was enough to send him screaming, not to mention where they were in general. Every time they passed a bench or a tree, memories of her would swell up. Yuki was right next to him which made it somewhat better, though not much. His presence was centering, although it did make him feel a bit guilty about the memories.   
  
A happy couple stood at the ice-cream stand laughing idly, the man had his arm around the girl's shoulders. He watched as they took their cones and darted aside, the man stealing a lick from the lady's, earning him a playful smack on the head. Touya wasn't sure if he was being nostalgic of his time with Kaho, or envious of their intimacy, something he wasn't able to have with Yuki. He looked down at his smaller friend who quickly flashed him a bright smile, putting a deeper dent in his self-control, though the stuffed toy under his arm evoked another emotion. Touya stifled a growl at the thought of the brat.   
  
His instincts kept going off when this foreign punk was around Sakura, but every time he moved to step between them he found the boy's targets elsewhere. It was getting very frustrating, and to see Yuki with that plush rabbit made him twitch anew. He glared off into the crowd and heard Yuki giggle next to him. He looked back at the small creature next to him, questions painted over his face.   
  
"He really bothers you, doesn't he?"   
  
Touya's face flattened in annoyance as he looked away again. "You have no idea."   
  
He heard Yuki giggle again, a light airy sound, an honest, pure thing free of any secondary motives. For someone living in an illusion, Yuki was as sincere as anyone he had ever known. "I don't know why you can't stand him being around Sakura, he seems nice."   
  
Touya shook his head, looking across the crowd at the monster and her friend as they left the fair. He was getting so caught up in Yuki he was forgetting what he was, what was going on around him. He was so used to going along with the delusions, he was almost buying into it. _'Have you told Yuki want you really want to, yet?'_ He looked back to Yuki, who was still amused by his over-protectiveness. Touya still wasn't sure what she had meant by that; she was always just saying enough to make him assume, make him stick his neck out. He thought she had meant telling him what he was, but now, not ten minutes later, he wasn't so sure. Did she mean what he felt? Did she mean both? He was running in circles again and thinking of her certainly didn't help his thinking anyway. No matter how much he tried to push her aside, tried to tell himself that Yuki was what he really wanted, who he was bound to, all it took was a glance at her to make him second guess that.   
  
The girls ran up the stairs to the monster's room, talking excitedly in hushed tones, something about the charm Yuki had gotten for her. He stayed at the porch, saying goodnight to his sole companion. Yuki's eyes were still laughing at him, even if he had stopped. The night was clear, the not quite full moon illuminating the world in the soft glow that made Yuki's white hair take on a light of its own.   
  
Doing his best to keep his hands to himself, Touya suffered a few more playful jabs from Yuki about his "sister complex" as they stood and talked. The discussions were of nothing important or even interesting to anyone but the two on the steps. Their topics roved from school, to friends, to the evening's happenings. Eventually Touya asked what he's missed while he'd been battling the brat, though the oddity of the fireflies (which Yuki kept going back to) got ignored to more upsetting matters. Touya was truly starting to be bothered by the growing attachment between Sakura and Yuki; he adored her (of course he did) but she was more than obvious about her interests. Fear of loosing Yuki to his sister wasn't a pleasant concept, but he was beginning to take the thought more and more seriously. Somehow he'd never considered that one day he'd be fighting his sister over love. He swayed the topic over to other things, a soccer tournament coming up and a family outing planned for next weekend and after that Yuki started telling Touya about how all the summer flowers were blooming in his garden now and the things he wanted to add for next year (not enough color in this or that corner or the like). Letting the conversation amble about as it liked, they made no attempts to steer it along and Touya was so focused on Yuki he barely felt his father approaching. He paused mid-sentence to look back at the closed front door just in time to see it open.   
  
"Were you two planning on getting any sleep tonight or were you just going to swing by Yuki's house in a couple hours to get his book bag?" his father asked with a playful glint. At the boy's confused looks he held up his hand and displayed his wristwatch, verifying the time to be 4:14 am.   
  
"Oh!" came a surprised gasp from Yuki, which Touya echoed. "I didn't… we didn't realize..."   
  
His father simply nodded with a smile and stepped back in, leaving the door open.   
  
"I guess I should…" Touya started, moving towards the door.   
  
"Oh yes, I can't believe it's that late already."   
  
"Time flies I guess."   
  
Yuki giggled at that. "Yes. I'll see you in a couple hours I guess."   
  
"Yup, you're gonna help the gardening club tomorrow right?"   
  
"Yeah, while your practice is going on, I should be done before you again."   
  
"Works. We'll work on that pile of history homework afterwards then. There's more than enough of it." Touya sighed thinking of the stack that the teacher had given them just last class.   
  
"That was a lot. And the essays are huge. It'll take hours and hours…"  
  
"Not to mention the time lines-"  
  
He was cut off by the sound of his father's voice behind him. "Touya-kun…" making both of them realize they had stopped moving quite some time ago again and had resumed talking. With nervous smiles they both finally said their goodnights and Touya finally backed the whole way into the house, letting his father close the door.   
  
"Sorry…" Touya said quickly, looking a bit embarrassed to have his father come down and remind him of the time.   
  
"Uh huh," the professor said with a sly grin that made Touya a bit uncomfortable. His father was so utterly dense on some things that Touya often made the mistake of assuming he missed everything. He spit out a quick goodnight and darted up the stairs, trying to be as casual as possible though he was sure his father was still smiling at him.   
  
  



	10. Light

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Violintide, Maze-chan, and TamChonin. So sorry, I know this is couple days late. I wish I had a real excuse but I haven't got much of one. *shrugs*  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


10

  
  
  
The duffel bag fell heavily to the wood floor. The second story room was sparely decorated, (a bed, a night stand, a chest, and an over stuffed chair) though it was large, far larger than Touya's room at home. The bright sunshine peeked through the curtains and then was released into the room as Yuki yanked the cloth aside. "It's so pretty, here. All the trees, and fresh air…" He pushed up the window, letting the summer breeze blow away the slightly musty air in the unused room and taking a deep breath.   
  
The drive up to the summer cottage had been uneventful at best, with himself playing navigator while his father drove, Yuki and Sakura in the back seat, along with the ever present stuffed toy cramped in a hand bag. Touya had had to fight hard not to laugh when the thing tried to break free of it, no doubt for air. Whatever it was, he was ever enjoying seeing it tortured, while Yuki was as clueless as ever.   
  
When his dad had told him about the trip, Touya had asked quickly if Yuki could come along, not wanting to leave Yuki alone for a whole weekend. He of course had been allowed but that didn't stop Yuki from worrying. "Are you sure I'm not barging in here? I'd hate to interrupt a family weekend…" he said after opening his bag on the bed, looking up at Touya like he was committing the most horrible of atrocities.   
  
Touya sighed loudly and picked up his duffel bag. "Well now that you mention it, it does seem kinda awful, doesn't it?" he said with the most serious look before it broke into a wide grin as he thumped his bag down across from Yuki's. "Of course you're not intruding, dummy," Touya ruffled Yuki's hair playfully before starting on his own bag. "You're always welcome, especially on family things. Don't be so dense. So, you want the chest or the closet?"   
  
Yuki giggled at the ruffling and tried to straighten it back as he smiled. "Alright… Um…" he looked at both and shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me, you can choose."   
  
Again Touya sighed, he really wished Yuki would say what he wanted once in a blue moon. He was so selfless it was hard to give him anything, even something as small as the bigger place to put clothes. He jabbed a thumb towards the closet behind him. "You take the closet then, I'm cool with the trunk." When he saw Yuki open his mouth to object, Touya cut him off before a single sound got out. "Go on and get your stuff out and we'll go looking for an extra bed roll for you."   
  
"Okay!" he said brightly as he hoisted his bag over to the closet. As he stuffed his closes into the trunk, Touya smiled to himself as Yuki hummed while he worked behind him.   
  


***

  
  
"This is so nice…" Yuki said as they walked through the darkening woods. Dinner's meal of chicken kabob and salad had long since been put away and Yuki had been practically hopping up and down in his seat to go for walk. The little path meandered through the trees and under brush while the evening's first fireflies began to blink on and off. Yuki reached out to catch a few, child-like in his innocence. Touya watched as he let off a laugh as he captured one in his small hands.   
  
Standing next to him, he looked down at his tightly closed hands and watched the tiny bug make its attempts at escape, flying from one palm to the other, its path evident by the light that shone through Yuki's thin, porcelain skin almost as clearly as if his hands were truly made of smoky glass. Touya watched transfixed and Yuki playfully opened his hands, peeking within, only to open them fully to allow the insect to crawl along his open hand, spiraling up one delicate finger to sit at its tip for a breath and then flit away. Eyes and mouth wide, Yuki's face tipped upwards to watch it with the look of a child. It seemed as the first time he had ever played with fireflies and maybe, Touya thought, it was. He remembered seeing fireflies at night with Yuki, but he didn't think they'd ever gotten close enough for him to catch them. As Yuki happily skipped after another one, Touya felt like kicking himself.   
  
Yuki was so childlike some times and in others he'd make Touya feel like a kindergartener. He shrugged and followed his happy conundrum as an all too familiar dark thought creped up. It wasn't anything as logical as his worries about what Yuki was, but an older worry he'd thought he'd worked through: even if by some freakish chance that Yuki would have him, was he really prepared to take that leap? It wasn't some little thing, a stroll across the street, it was major; it would affect his entire life. What about marriage and children, two things he couldn't have with Yuki (though even if Yuki was female, him not being human would probably mean no kids as well). Could he live without those things? Could he grow old with only Yuki near him, no children or grandchildren to call his own? Could he watch his line just stop?   
  
He thought back at his father's little smile back those many nights ago on the porch and became more and more convinced that his selectively aware father was highly conscious of Touya's interest, though how far would he approve Touya pursuing it? How far would he himself approve of pursuing it? It wasn't unheard of to be attracted to someone of the same gender, even to fall in love with them, but to spend your life only with them? The normal thing would be to find a wife, father a few children and keep Yuki as a lover: do his family duty, continue his line, and go about his life… But he didn't want that, not really. He felt a pull to Yuki like nothing he'd ever known, to push him aside and take someone else into his bed… Touya felt his stomach twist at the thought. To even think about a someone else felt like a betrayal and they weren't even together, he couldn't imagine marrying someone else, having children with her… while Yuki waited on the sidelines. It felt indescribably wrong, hurtful even. Even worse than it felt to think he'd never have children. "To-ya…" came a singsong voice, drawing him out of his worries.   
  
He raised an eyebrow as Yuki extended his closed hands before Touya's face, and opened them like a fairytale flower, releasing nearly a dozen twinkling lights in front of him. His melancholy vanished like mist hit with dawn's light as he laughed at the sight, joining Yuki's giggles. Touya gazed down at his friend's face, illuminated by the pale yellow light of the fleeing creatures, his pure smile out shining them all and holding Touya fast. His smile slid to something softer as he watched him looking up at the receding lights.   
  
"It's so pretty here…" he said, trailing off, his eyes still turned upwards.   
  
"Yeah…" Touya trailed off, still watching the light dance across Yuki's face, though the fireflies had risen high enough now that they barely colored his white skin at all. That little fact didn't bother Touya very much, as Yuki always seemed to glow on his own anyway.   
  
Yuki's large golden eyes lowered for the first time, meeting Touya's intense ones fixed on him and for once, Touya didn't avert them immediately. Meeting such a look, painted with the implications of what Touya had just said, Yuki took on the look of a deer catch in headlights, a pale pink wash spreading across his cheeks; he seemed equally caught. Touya reached up to touch the side of his face, utterly forgetting any questions he might have had mere moments before and began to lean in, closing the gap between them. He brought his face close enough for Yuki's clean rain-like scent to over power the woody smells of the forest around them, when his father's voice pierced the still air. "Touya! Tsukishiro-san!"   
  
Shocked like someone shaken abruptly from a dream, his head snapped up to see a flashlight far in the distance back where the house was. Now, and only now, did Touya realize that it was pitch black out and that they'd yet again lost time somewhere. "Oi!" he yelled back, waving uselessly towards the flashlight. "We're headed back!"   
  
"Oh my? When did it get so dark?" he asked innocently, albeit, Touya noted, a bit breathlessly.   
  
"Come on." Touya started to lead them back pushing that thought aside for later, but as he did he felt Yuki's small, cool hand slip into his own with his quiet agreement. It was far from the first time Yuki had held his hand, it was one of the oddly naïve things he'd always done, but it effected Touya more every time. Winding their way back down the dark trail, feeling their way as much as seeing it, Touya squeezed Yuki's hand a bit tighter, relishing his touch as the fireflies watched them go.   
  


***

  
  
The morning light skipped between the curtains and across his face, happily announcing the new day. Touya blinked, his lips curling in a snarl in the hopes to drive away the annoying cheerfulness of it, and threw a cover over his head, grumbling. His preferred unpleasantness was interrupted by some soft giggles off to his side. Blinking again, he lifted the cover just high enough to look across to where Yuki was rolling up his bedroll. "What are you so damn entertained by?" he snarled fiercely, but Yuki, unimpressed, simply giggled louder. "Argh!" he moaned, exasperated as he threw the covers back over himself. "Morning people... freaks…" Through the heavy comforter he could still hear Yuki's laughs. Beneath it, Touya's face twisted in a vicious smile and he suddenly leapt from the bed at Yuki, still partially covered by the blanket.   
  
He was rewarded by a surprised yelp from the smaller boy and a few muffled ones as he wrapped him in the covers and dropped him to the ground. Ever careful not to actually hurt him, Touya efficiently had him on the floor, pinned beneath him. "To-ya!" came a muffled admonishment.   
  
Now chuckling happily, Touya pealed back the cover to reveal Yuki's face. He looked down at him innocently as Touya straightened Yuki's glasses. "What?"   
  
"What do you mean "what"? Let me up!"   
  
"Why? I think you make a good cushion," he said bringing a bit more of his weight down on Yuki though not nearly all of it.   
  
His small captive yelped. "Get off of me you lummox, right now!"   
  
"Why? I'm quite happy like this," he said as he shifted his weight getting more relaxed.   
  
"To-Ya!" he said as if issuing a direct order. "You let me up this instant or else!"   
  
Touya's look if innocence transformed into the lopsided grin that was out right predatory. "Or you'll do what, exactly…?"  
  
Yuki seemed to consider this for a moment and then began to kick furiously. "To-ya! Let me out!" all the commanding tone had given way to desperate pleading and after his struggles he slumped, going utterly limp and looked up at Touya defeated.   
  
Chuckling merrily, Touya got off, yanking the cover away as he went. "Teach you to laugh me…" he said in a very pleased tone. Though the pleased smile was quickly wiped away as Yuki pounced on him from behind. He wasn't foolish enough to try to over power him, he instead took the low road and shot his small hands to the soccer player's sides. "Yuki!"   
  
Ducking away from the tickling hands, Touya curled into a ball trying hard to avoid both Yuki's hands and hurting him. "Yuki! Yuki stop! Stop! Stop!" Touya had a habit of lashing out when tickled, it was dangerous given his size, but he'd always done it. It was taking extreme effort to hold himself in a ball and pray that Yuki stopped his attack, while he was enjoying his triumph.   
  
Still curled on himself, Yuki released him rather quickly, leaving Touya gasping for air and holding his sides. He hated being tickled though he certainly wasn't going to tell that to Yuki now. Instead he worked at calming down and letting the pain in his sides fade. Somewhat recovered, Touya reached an arm up onto the bed, considering getting up, while Yuki was still laughing at his own supremacy. "See? I'm not helpless? You should remember that…" he stopped, looking at Touya, his face fallen.   
  
He didn't want to make Yuki feel bad it was silly to be so bothered by tickling, so he waved at Yuki with his other hand, laughing off the fight. "Yeah, yeah, tough guy, I'll remember," but Yuki wasn't buying it and he stepped closer.   
  
"To-ya, your hand's shaking." He immediately looked at the betraying limb draped across the bed and pulled it into his lap.   
  
"Eh, it's nothing, just worked up, that's all." He never knew why it bothered him, it just did. It was like any control he had was wiped away, not only couldn't he properly defend himself, but his senses went haywire and everything became jumbled. It was just tickling but it bothered him, as stupid as that was.   
  
"I'm sorry. Should I not have done that? I didn't mean to upset you. Are you alright?" he took Touya's shaking hands in his own and looked worriedly into his eyes, bringing all rational thought to a grinding halt.   
  
Suddenly he remembered last night vividly, the dark, the smell of the woods, Yuki's rain-like scent, the feel of cool skin under his finger tips, the closeness (so close he could almost feel Yuki). His small hands closed over Touya's, feeling suddenly ice cold as his temperature rose sharply. He began to lean forward again, forgetting any thoughts of caution or fear. "Yuki, I…"   
  
He broke off suddenly and looked towards the door moments before he heard his father yell up the stairs. "Boys, breakfast!"   
  
"Alright!" he yelled back and looked to Yuki, only to watch him get up and finish shoving his bedroll into the closet.   
  
"We had better hurry. It'll get cold fast."   
  
Touya knelt there a moment longer and rushed as well to make up his destroyed bed, shoving aside any other feelings for now, but as they went to leave Yuki grasped his hand again and paused, looking up at him with those worried eyes. "Are you okay, really?"   
  
Touya just snorted and tried to look incredulous. "You get a little flustered and everyone treats you like your some delicate flower that's gonna faint. Of course I'm fine and don't look at me like that," he said fighting back the grin forming on his face. Yuki's worry wiped away into a smile and he softly laughed at Touya's tease, nodding his acceptance. With a brief squeeze to his hand, Yuki let go and headed down the stairs, leaving a slightly dazed Touya in his wake.   
  


***

  
  
_'What in the world was she wearing?'_ He'd still been puzzled by the odd gift as they packed to go home. Yuki and him had gotten their stuff together quickly and now were set to the task of loading the car. "You're gonna tease her for days aren't you?" Yuki asked with an accusatory tone of voice.   
  
"Maybe," he replied with an evil glint to his smile that simply made Yuki shake his head.   
  
"That's one mean sister complex you have there…" he said casually, with his own innocent smile.   
  
"Oh, shut up," he snapped bluntly, tossing a bag into the trunk, which only earned him more giggles.   
  
"Do you have work tomorrow?"   
  
"Yup, eleven to eight."   
  
"Would you like to work on some English homework after or would you be too tired?"   
  
Touya shook his head. "Nah. I'll bring some supper from the restraraunt for us, and if nothing else we can just eat and stare at the books."   
  
Yuki smiled widely, nodding his head. "Sounds good."   
  
They continued to work in silence mostly and quickly had the car loaded and ready to go. His father was still busy with shutting up the house so they sat on the front steps for a few, enjoying the view. "This is really nice up here, so open and green." Yuki said looking out into the woods. "I'm sure you're sick of hearing me say that," he laughed "I've said it nearly every hour it seems."   
  
Touya just laughed with him. "It's okay, it _is_ nice up here; you're right on that. They have smaller cabins around that you can rent for the week or so. Maybe we should see about getting one of those next year."   
  
Yuki's eyes lit up, as he turned to him quickly. "That would be wonderful!" but then just as quickly his face fell. "That would be expensive, very expensive. We couldn't do that…"  
  
Shaking his head, Touya waved off his concerns. "Nah, if I save up little by little, it wouldn't be hard at all. It might not be very big and all, but it shouldn't be impossible…"  
  
"Really?" Yuki's face began to show a smile again and Touya felt him grasp his hand. "That would be great, To-ya."   
  
Living jello, Touya felt a silly smile begin to creep across his face. If he had to cut off arm for the cabin, he'd get it, just so long as he got to see that smile again. His resolve in shambles, he could feel himself get a little closer to Yuki, but stopped as Yuki continued. "I wonder if my grandparents have had a cabin up here?" Yuki wondered aloud looking back to the trees. The mention of his fantasy grandparents was like getting a bucket of cold water dumped over him. He couldn't let this go on, he really couldn't, even if it hurt him, it wasn't right to keep lying to him. He knew Yuki well enough that he felt sure that he could cope with the knowledge, although it wouldn't be a picnic.   
  
He took a deep breath and tired to figure out how to word this. "Yuki…?" his smaller companion looked up at him questioningly. "Yuki…, I…" he stopped and looked to the door behind them and shook his head. "I'll tell you later," he said quickly as his father and sister came out the door, boxed lunches in hand.   
  
They loaded in, Sakura still wearing the gift happily, and Touya took his place up front with the map. As they pulled off down the dirt road, Touya stared at the lines of the map without registering them at all. He was going to have to tell Yuki, the matter was when… and how.   
  
  



	11. Dark

  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Rameana, Larania, Pixie Goddess, and TamChonin.   
  
This fic begins before the series does, so yeah it's before the judgment and the last chapter took place during the Golden Week that Sakura met her grandfather.   
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


11

  
  
  
People who describe darkness as a deep, starless night have never truly known darkness. Even on a starless night, when the moon refuses to show, even then there _is_ light, somewhere. The faintest of highlight creating shadow, black on black in varying degrees, a broken patchwork of half seen, half unseen forms bereft of true volume and form, vague notions of space and matter versus true existence; though, no matter how insubstantial, there is shape and color. There _is_ something out there, even if it's only the faint silhouette of your hand inches from your face. Darkness, true darkness, is not so lenient; it is an eternal void that stretches before you, behind you, above you, and below you, at once freeing you utterly and at the same time locking you firmly in place more securely than concrete walls and chain ever could. Darkness swallows time itself and exists free of any petty boundaries of scope and history. It is its own master.   
  
Touya has never been afraid of the dark, never one to rely on the fickle sense of sight, but then there is another darkness, or maybe simply it's the darkness that gives life to all others, a central, mother darkness that extends her slim fingers into the world of men at brief moments but never to her fullest extent: whispered, fleeting touches and no more. This fuller darkness does not only blanket the eyes, but the ears, the touch, smell, taste, and sixth sense as well, bringing all inputs to a grinding halt, trapping the captive in a private hell where moments pass as centuries, and centuries pass as moments. Robbed of time and space, of up and down, of the feeling, echoing sense of all other living things, Touya stood held and helpless.   
  
A rising panic was his only companion and it made for poor company. He could no longer feel Sakura or Yuki, Yuki who had been not a foot from his side, his baby sister, focus of his entire life before knowing Yuki, both were gone, utterly. He screamed her name in the blackness and heard no response, none at all. His sense of touch was even dulled and numbed to the point that he could barely feel his hands rub at his useless eyes. He had felt a flash of one of the houseguests and then nothing. He called out for Yuki, feeling his lungs distantly burn at the force he put behind the sound, though he could barely hear his own voice (it sounded distant and tinny). He'd been near collapse when he heard an equally tinny, far more faint reply. "To-ya?!" Yuki's frightened voice sounded miles away, though his logical mind (or what was left of it) told him that Yuki had been so close not long ago. He cried out again, forcibly pushing aside the smothering darkness to try and break through at least some of the bonds and reaching towards where he thought Yuki had been.   
  
His fingers found the soft fabric of Yuki's jacket and Touya grabbed hold as tightly as he could. "To-ya!?" his voice sounded clearer now that he had a grip on him, and Touya reflexively pulled the smaller boy close to him, holding him as close as possible. Now so connected, he could dimly feel Yuki's soul again, something infinitely more comforting than hearing or even seeing him could ever be.   
  
His sense of touch was still extremely dulled, so he could barely feel Yuki wrap his slim arms around his chest. "It's okay! We're okay!" he shouted, though it came out as a faint whisper.   
  
"What's happened? What's going on?" came Yuki's frightened voice from miles away.   
  
"I'm not sure, but it'll be over soon, I'm sure of it! Don't worry!" he tried to sound more sure than he was, but honestly, he was feeling more confident now that he had Yuki, now that he wasn't alone in this. He didn't care that he was holding Yuki, breaching one of the few remaining physical boundaries between them. All he knew was that he had him, Yuki was safe and he wasn't alone; he wasn't floundering in that empty hell; he could feel Yuki next to him, his bright light cutting through the dark, driving away the numbness, the deafness.   
  
He was certain this was another one of those things that Sakura was handling, but he couldn't help but wonder what was taking so long? Was she alright? Was she inside this or were he and Yuki the only ones caught? How long would they be in this thing? How long had they been in already, he couldn't guess. He was tightening his arms around Yuki when the light returned, or rather some of the light returned. A flicker, a stutter step of light passed around them and then was gone just as quickly. "What was that?" he heard Yuki ask, sounding even closer than before.   
  
"A good sign," he said, finding he no longer had to shout as loudly. "A very good sign." He looked down at the small creature in his arms, coming back to himself enough to realize what he was doing. While his mind rushed to find a good enough excuse for this intimate contact, his mind's eye caught a glimce of something else, something startlingly close to the surface: the midnight visitor of so many months ago. Touya could almost see the lavender cat's eyes looking up at him, looking far more distant than Yuki's eyes ever had been. He gazed down at him, both of them actually. He could feel Yuki plain as day but the other was coming through as well, a far cooler, far less human feel. Touya reached out to this hidden addition to his love, leaping at the chance to understand who else shared Yuki's skin. He could feel ridged control and a numbing coldness that almost made him recoil, but his stubbornness drove him on, reaching further until he felt something he was beginning to think he wouldn't, someone like Yuki. Mournful, embittered, lost, and more than a little fragile, the feel of that soul was non-the-less unmistakably like Yuki's. He could feel that other wince back, conscious of his attention and it retreated into the shadows again. As it did, Touya could feel the darkness press in on him again, his senses fading. He kicked himself for his rudeness, to pry so overtly, and tried to think of how to apologize when he could suddenly feel the world begin to well up around him. Reality was turning back on and he could even dimly feel Sakura not far away. He released Yuki, looking around mere moments before all the lights came on and the world returned.   
  
His thoughts of celebration were killed instantly when he looked up to see his sister hugging the foreign brat. "HEY!" he shouted, as Yuki laughed at his "sister complex" antics. His thoughts of the stranger and the time spent with Yuki in his arms were momentarily forgotten as well.   
  


***

  
  
"That was a little scary, back there. What was it?" Yuki asked as they made their way back to his house.   
  
Touya shrugged, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Just one of those things, I guess," he replied vaguely, not certain what to tell him. "Not exactly sure what it was but it's handled now. You okay?"   
  
Yuki flashed him one of his blinding smiles and nodded happily. "I'm fine. I don't know why but I really wasn't that frightened at first. It felt kind of… comfortable." His eyes lowered as he thought on this. "I don't know why. I was surprised, very, but, I don't know, it wasn't very scary, at first…"  
  
"At first?" Touya stopped as Yuki continued to think on this.   
  
"Well… I was wondering what was going on, when I heard you shout out." He turned his bright eyes up at him, concern clearly visible in them. "I hadn't thought that anyone was there with me and suddenly I got scared. You sounded so far away and… and… frightened." Touya could feel his face grow hot and he turned to stare at his shoes a bit. "I heard you yell for Sakura first but she didn't answer. I was about to yell for her too but then you called for me. I didn't know what was happening, if you or Sakura were okay or even where you were. I was so startled when you grabbed me, I thought you were far away. Once you had me I could see you suddenly and everything went back to normal, at least with you. It was still dark but I could see you again and you sounded clear. Are you alright?" he felt Yuki grab his sweater sleeve lightly, looking up at him. "Were we in danger? I can't feel things like you can; I felt safe in there, but you sounded… Were we in danger?"   
  
Touya ruffled Yuki's hair, uncomfortable with his foolish panicking. He'd not only embarrassed himself but he'd scared Yuki to boot. Good job. "No, we were fine. I just got worried. That thing blocked all my senses, all of them. I just worried when I couldn't feel Sakura or… or anyone else. I guess I just got a little jumpy, that's all."   
  
Yuki's worried expression turned to a soft smile as he ducked under Touya's hand. I guess we're both a little excitable aren't we?" he laughed lightly, making Touya go a little weak in the knees. "So, other than the surprise back then, how did you like the play?"   
  
Touya grumbled a bit. "Damn brat. Who would be stupid enough to cast him as the princess?"   
  
Yuki giggled. "I thought he was cute." Touya's only reply was a snort. "Well, _I_ thought he was, I don't know why you hate him so much, he seems nice." Again Touya snorted incredulously. As much as he despised the little mongrel, he only hated him more every time Yuki defended him. Every time the brat went near Yuki Touya had to bite back the instinct to break his fingers, not to mention what he wanted to do to him when he got near Sakura. There was something there, he was sure of it. "You know, Touya, there is clinical help you could get for that sister complex of yours."   
  
Touya glared down at his smiling face. "Shut up." When Yuki just laughed he crossed his arms and sighed.   
  


***

  
  
The ground had stopped rumbling as he ran, his lungs burning as a decided pain began to creep into his left side. He didn't know how long he'd been running but he knew where to go. Something big was happening, something major. Sakura was glowing like a red-hot beacon, while Yuki had completely dropped off the world, replaced by the midnight visitor. Something was very, very wrong. Sakura had been dealing with one of the things again, something that made an earthquake, when he'd started running, now he was tearing across the streets. Something far bigger than the normal stuff was happening, and this time Yuki was involved. Touya tore down the deserted streets, barely looking where he was going, or where he was. All that mattered was reaching Sakura and Yuki, and fast. As he pounded down the sidewalks, he tried his best not to let his imagination run away with himself, biting back a panic the likes of which he'd never known. He rounded a corner, grasping a streetlight pole to make the bend and brought himself to a screeching halt. Gasping for air, clutching his side, he looked over at Sakura all dressed up in some weird outfit, with her friend, the brat, and Kaho with her. The stuffed toy was yelling something about having to attack someone; Yue, it said, though the toy had grown a bit and was a full-scale winged lion now. He wouldn't have known it was the same creature if it hadn't felt exactly the same, if only a bit stronger.   
  
Yue… Touya looked up from his tree-covered position to the midnight stranger; Yue, they called him. Moon… It fit him, Touya thought as he got his best look at Yuki's "roommate" (for lack of a better term). He was waiting impatiently for the people below to finish, looking annoyed and bored, two expressions he'd never seen on Yuki's face, contorting the similar features to something icy and unpleasant. No matter how radiant this creature was, his coldness made Touya shiver and long for Yuki's gentle warmth. Everything about this stranger made Touya think of Yuki, and long for him. "Everything will be alright." He looked up to hear Sukura's voice ring out clearing and he saw her step up towards the visitor.   
  
He didn't like the idea of her facing off with this guy at all and when he announced that the trial was continuing, Touya had to stop himself from stepping in-between them. He'd decided to let her do what she had to do so far as the houseguests were concerned, but this Yue? He was far more dangerous than those things were. Either outcome could bring hurt to either Sakura or Yuki, neither was an option in his mind.   
  
After the toy stopped her from using one card, Windy, he explained that some cards were Yue's and those couldn't be sent against him, and though Touya was very ignorant as to what these things were, he reached out and felt at them, noting some felt like Yuki and Yue and others felt like the toy. The ones to the toy were over all the more angry feeling ones and Touya cringed a bit thinking that those would have to be used against Yue, and thus Yuki. She reached out and grasped a floating card and he watched her command it to capture Yue. As he watched the vines dart out, he knew it was futile before they turned back at her. The memory of Yuki's garden was enough to tell him that this Yue was tied to growing things. His feet almost betrayed him, bringing him nearly into the open as he heard her scream as the card bound her instead and Yue.   
  
"Evil will befall this world…" he announced with distain at the end of his victory monologue. Torn by his anger at Yue's coldness and his similarities to Yuki, Touya almost shouted out a protest; Yuki would never hurt anything, he wouldn't bring any evil down, whatever it was. This was wrong, but before he could, Sakura beat him to it and banished the vines that held her. This time he strayed further towards the battle field, though he couldn't reach her in time to stop her fall. He cringed at the hard hit but the fight continued; his presence lost in the chaos.   
  
They began to continue, though the announcement that only Clow could win gave Sakura pause. Touya didn't know who Clow was, but he knew Sakura wasn't him, making this a lost battle of sorts. It was then that of all people, Kaho stepped up. Touya felt his stomach twist a bit at the site of her, but his concern for Sakura and Yuki made the feeling dim and barely notable. He watched silently as she announced she had a gift from Clow for her, and then showed Sakura how to combine Kaho's strange bell with her pink staff. Now with her new staff, she spoke to Kaho, though he couldn't make out the words. She then stepped up and used the card she'd tried to first, and this time a lovely woman with trailing tendrils flew up at Yue and began to loop around him. He seemed surprised and was quickly encased and gently lowered to the ground. The fight, it seemed, was over. He didn't know what it had been over, or what evil was supposed to be unleashed, but it was over, without Sakura or Yuki getting hurt. He slumped against a tree in relief as he saw Sakura close her eyes and magic surround her.   
  
He straightened as this happened and watched Yue intently; a new worry had found Touya, a dark worry. Now that Yue had finished his fight and probably completed his task, what now? Would Yuki return and this person go back to sleep within him, or was Yuki gone? The silent terror of Yuki somehow disappearing jumped to the forefront and held Touya from leaving for home to avoid being noticed. Her gripped the tree tightly with his one hand till he heard the bark snap off a bit in his hands and watched as light enveloped the toy and Yue, a beautiful moment later and there was Yuki, looking confused.   
  
Relived, Touya almost left, but then saw Yuki begin to waver, falling slowly to the ground. From his closer position, Touya ran forward and caught him before he could fall very far; decision not to get involved or not, he wasn't going to let Yuki fall. "Touya!"   
  
He looked at her dryly, supporting Yuki's delicate frame easily. "What are you doing out so late?!" Of course he knew but seeing her sputter was too amusing to miss. "And what's with the get up?" She stammered a good bit while the toy hid behind her back, as if he hadn't seen it fly back there at the first sight of him. Sometimes he wondered exactly how stupid they thought he was. He left her to try to come up with some reasonable excuse, something about a play or something, which Kaho backed up with a smile. (Touya had to fight not to roll his eyes.) After he'd had his fill of being treated like a retard, he told her sharply to get home immediately and after they'd all run off, he hoisted Yuki up in his arms and started to make his way to Yuki's house. He made it about half way before Yuki woke up, making small sighing noises as he did.   
  
"To…ya…? Where…?"  
  
"We're about halfway to your house. You passed out at the shrine." He stopped and let Yuki wake up the rest of the way.   
  
"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have carried me all this way. I… I'm fine now, you can set me down."   
  
"Okay okay…" He softly lowered him, careful of him maybe being as yet unsure on his feet. "Just take it easy, you still don't look that stable."   
  
"I'm fine, you worry too much," he said with a glowing smile as he patted Touya's arm and stepped away. He got a couple feet from him and started to fall again.   
  
  
Reaching out quickly, Touya caught him, supporting him with one arm. "Careful!" he stabilized him again, but kept his grip around his chest. "Careful, no reason to rush it. Lets just wait a bit till you're ready."   
  
"Thank you," he said softly with his faced turned down. He still wasn't feeling right and given what had just gone on, it was understandable.   
  
They stood like that a few minutes and then began to make their way towards his house, Touya keeping his arm around him for support. "Was Sakura alright?" he asked, looking up at him. "There was a fire, before… I kept it away from her and the one boy, but…" He looked back down, confusion washing over his fine features. He sighed and shook his head. "But I don't remember anything after that, I don't know why, I just… I don't know how I got to the shine, the fire was more near your work, but I remember seeing Sakura at the shrine… or… To-ya? Was I at the shine or was I dreaming?"   
  
Touya considered lying to him, it would make it much easier on him, but Touya was fed up with lying to Yuki. "Yeah, you were at the shine when I got there. You passed out there."   
  
His face darkened more. "But how did I get there, I don't remember anything. That isn't like me…"  
  
He looked down at him, looking even smaller than usual and infinitely more helpless and couldn't do it. He looked so worried about this and still dazed from Yue's control, Touya couldn't bring himself to bring Yuki's world crashing down on him, not now. "I don't know, maybe you fainted after the fire and they carried you that far, thinking you'd wake up. You almost went down again just a little bit ago."   
  
He nodded, not really sure. "I guess so…" he thought on this a while longer and then switched subjects quickly. "So they were alright?" he asked brightly, as if nothing was wrong.   
  
"Yeah, they were fine. Worried about you but otherwise fine."   
  
"Good, good…" He seemed satisfied with that but Touya could feel him worrying in the silence as they continued to walk. As they reached the front door, he finally released Yuki and let him stand on his own.   
  
"Are you going to be okay on your own. I can stay the night if you want; it's still early enough for me to call home."   
  
Yuki waved his hand at Touya, opening the door behind him. "I'm be fine, really, I'm feeling much better now." He stepped into the house, slowly closing the door. "I'll see you tomorrow morning then."   
  
"Yeah, I'll see you then." He said reluctantly as Yuki closed the door.   
  
He paused at the front steps a bit longer and then turned to make his way home. He couldn't keep finding excuses like this; he had to tell him. This constant backing out was ridiculous. No matter how much it hurt to tell him the truth, letting him live this lie was even worse, and Yue only served to make things more difficult. He had a sneaking suspicion that his time to tell Yuki was running out, though he wasn't sure why.   
  
  



	12. Eclipse

  
  
And here's where the new begins. Please, please, hold all fan fair or lynch mobs till after the show. I know it's been forever since my last update, but as you can see I didn't abandon you. From this point on I will be updating regularly. And Yes I can guarentee that, because… I've written the whole thing already and will just be releasing it by chapters. See? I've been busy.   
  
I would of course like to thank my reviewers: Rieko Blade, Kou-Kagerou, Laurus Nobilis, Lady DeathAngel, Maze-chan, Elihice, Larania, Ciu Sune, sada, Esme, Pixie Goddess1, Larania, and of course TamChronin. Happy Belated Birthday Tam.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


12

  
  
  
"Present! Bow!" called out the class rep just like every morning. A few weeks had passed since that night with Yue and so far, Touya hadn't seen anymore of him but a shadow in Yuki's eyes. It was more awake now but other than that, everything was back to normal. He looked over to Yuki to ask him about their homework when he felt something waiting just outside the door. His eyes narrowed a bit as he stared at the closed door, trying to discern what it hid. Curious and clueless, Yuki looked as well. They didn't have long to wait as the teacher quickly announced that they had a transfer student from England joining their class. The poor man had barely gotten the door open when the person in question bounced in through the door happily waving to the class, shouting "hello" loud enough for everyone in the school to hear.   
  
She, Touya finally looked at it long enough to see her clothes, was decidedly not human. Whatever she was, it reminded him of Yuki distantly; the same… almost… taste (for lack of a better word), but not quite. Her loud, self-appreciating grin was worlds away from Yuki's warm one. Akizuki Nakaru, the teacher wrote on the board as he introduced her and Touya felt a stone settle in his gut as she fixed her vacant, toothy, and somewhat predatory grin on him and Yuki. He felt even worse when he realized that there was an open seat behind him. As he dreaded, this new creature, happily skipped across the room and planted herself right behind him. "Hiya!" she chirped brightly in his ear. He flinched at the piercing loudness, but whatever he would have responded with was lost when the teacher told everyone to be silent and open their history books.   
  


***

  
  
Akizuki… the word brought new meaning to the term "hatred". He'd only known her for half a day and already he was looking forward to reading her obituary. She'd invited herself into his normally blissful lunch with Yuki, planting her bony ass right between them, screeching her hellos. If her constant badgering and unending need to hang on him weren't bad enough, the way she looked at Yuki was enough to make him want to lunge for her throat. "So, Touya kun, what are you doing later on? Surely someone as big and strong as you…" she crooned in his ear as she kneaded the toned muscles happily. "Surely you're in some sports… I mean you're so much more… athletic than," she finally said glancing over at Yuki then quickly snapped her face back to Touya's. "…than nearly everyone else in school." Her shark's grin was flawless as he yanked his arm away from her.   
  
"I guess. I'm on the soccer team."   
  
"Ohhh… How exciting… I bet you're the star."   
  
"To-ya makes lots of goals, the crowds love him."   
  
Whatever elation Yuki's praise would have elicited was killed by Akizuki's badly hidden distain for Yuki. "Oh, well of course, he practically beams with skill," she said as if she'd forgotten Yuki was there, now that she'd nudged him a good ways from her and Touya. "Why I don't understand why you spend your lunches way over here, when you could be sitting with the best in the class…"  
  
Touya huffed and finally stood up, evading her attempt at reattaching herself to him. "I'm not very interested in your version of 'the best in the class' I'm quite happy over here. Come on Yuki, I have to meet up with Makora about the next game before breaks over." Yuki happily hopped up to follow him, and he started to quickly head off towards the field. He'd never been as happy to have a short lunch as that day.   
  


***

  
The front step was still dark and slick from the rain last night. A swift river of water rushed down the edges of the streets, pushing along all sorts of flotsam: cans of soda, candy wrappers, and a wide assortment of leaves. The dirty street water made no apologizes, but rather hurried along its morning commute to the occasional drain, happily spiraling away.   
  
Touya's tires splashed harshly through the temporary river, throwing a good stream away from the motorbike and back up at the back of his jacket as he pushed the gas of the seldom driven motorcycle. Sakura hadn't gotten up at all that morning and eventually Touya had realized that she wasn't being lazy as normal, when the shouts of her toy didn't wake her. She said she'd be all right and his dad said he'd check on her on his break and Touya had decided to skip practice for once. Also he knew the toy was there to watch her, so he wasn't so worried. But, none-the-less, he was late. Luckily because she wasn't there, he was able to use his motorcycle for once, and he sped down the street towards where Yuki was waiting. "Yo!"   
  
Touya waved to Yuki but the boy was already looking and waving back. He was clapping as Touya stopped in front of him. "Why did you bring the motorcycle today?" He leaned to look down the street. "Where's Sakura?" His amused expression faded to one of worry.   
  
Touya pulled off his helmet and answered, "She's still not feeling real good, but she'll be fine." As he saw Yuki's face fall further, he continued to try to ease him, "No, really, she'll be fine. She's resting and my dad will check on her at lunch. Trust me, she's just tired," he said as he handed his helmet to the smaller boy. He'd been in such a rush he'd forgotten to bring an extra helmet.   
  
Yuki tried to argue, but Touya grabbed the helmet back and shoved it on Yuki's head. Yuki laughed a bit and straightened his glasses, pushing the visor up. He got up behind Touya and went back to his worries about Sakura. "I… I was really worried about her last night; she would barely wake up when I shook her." He was quiet for a bit, holding on to Touya's shoulders tightly as they wove through the water logged streets. "The rain finally quit, should be a nice sunny day." Touya just nodded as Yuki made an attempt as small talk though he could hear the worry in his voice.   
  


***

  
  
Touya had come down stairs, feeling Yuki and Sakura approaching. He had felt the midnight visitor, Yue, take control a while back but Yuki had come back as they'd reached the house. Now that she was closer to him, he could feel something off about her, she felt drained. As he ran down the stairs to meet them, the door opened to show Yuki's tiny frame struggling under the weight of his little sister passed out in his arms.   
  
As Touya took her from him, he looked frightened and confused. He stammered a lot and hung back guiltily, wringing his hands, repeating over and over that he didn't know what had happened and that he was so sorry. Once she was up in bed Touya had to actually grab him and shake him a bit to get him to listen. "It's not your fault Yuki, you didn't do this. She's just all worn out. It's good that you were there to get her home. Calm down. You didn't do anything wrong."   
  
He wasn't very convinced and Touya ended up walking him home, while he stared at his shoes. "I just don't know what happened. I… I can't remember… I'm so sorry." He looked ill with worry and Touya had to work hard to assure him that he hadn't been responsible for it at all. In the end, Touya had left him to get some sleep but he wasn't very sure that Yuki was as calm as he looked. Obviously he was still worrying this morning.   
  


***

  
  
"Touya…?" He asked quietly behind Touya as they slowed.   
  
"Yeah?" Touya turned slightly in his seat as they parked in front of the school.   
  
He paused and pulled Touya's helmet off as he got off the bike. Standing there a moment, clutching the helmet close as Touya climbed off as well, he eventually shook his head and threw Touya a smile. "It's nothing. We better hurry," he said giving the helmet back quickly as he headed for the doors. "Classes will start soon."   
  
The smile wasn't totally fake, but something behind it wasn't right. Something new was behind it, something Touya hadn't seen there before, not in any of the other fake smiles he'd seen through out their friendship; he saw fear… and it made Touya go cold. He nodded numbly and followed him into the building.   
  


***

  
  
Yuki reached into the bag and pulled out an empty hand with a little sigh. "Empty, huh?" Touya asked at his friend's forlorn expression at the bag of cookies.   
  
"Yeah. But I really don't need anymore; I ate more than enough at dinner and that was a new bag when I started. I've just had more of an appetite lately," he said with a shrug and went back to studying.   
  
"Here," he said getting up. "Why don't we walk down to the store and get another bag," he smirked at Yuki as he pulled his shoes on. "…or four or five. Well don't just stand there, they won't be open all night."   
  
"Oh no, To-ya. We don't have to, I'll be fine, really." He walked over to the door but didn't kick off his fuzzy, white slippers.   
  
Touya got his shoes the rest of the way on and crossed his arms. "Well I'm going, so either you can sit here and wait for me to get back or you can tag along. Your choice," he turned to open the door. Yuki started to stammer a bit, he hated to be a bother, but Touya just headed out the door.   
  
"Wait! I'm coming!" he called after him, grabbing his shoes quickly. Touya waited and watched as Yuki trotted after him. "It's awfully late to go to buy some cookies, To-ya. I don't know why I've been so hungry lately, but it's not important."   
  
"Well, we can get other things, besides cookies, there is a whole store. We'll just wander around till you see something that sounds good, or till you fill a cart." He smiled broadly as he pulled out his bike.   
  
Yuki looked a little embarrassed at the "cart" comment but looked surprised that Touya was getting his bike. "We don't need the bike, the store isn't very far at all."   
  
Touya shrugged and got on anyway. "This'll be faster. Get on." Yuki nodded and got on, gripping Touya's shoulders tightly as he pushed off.   
  
The store was only a few blocks away, but lately it didn't take much at all to tire Yuki and Touya didn't want him to get worn out and end up having to eat more. He was really starting to worry about him these days. Ever since Yue woke up fully, Yuki had been ravenous and exhausted, and it was only getting worse. That and Yuki was having black out spells that Touya assumed were always Yue waking up, though they were happening more frequently and needless to say, scaring Yuki.   
  
To add insult to injury, Akizuki was becoming a real problem. She always found a way to stop him from talking to Yuki, interrupting them, tackling him, and otherwise being a royal pest. He was getting very worried about Yuki and wanted desperately to tell him, but whenever he thought he'd found the right moment, there she was.   
  
The worst part about it was that Touya had noticed a decided dimming to Yuki's aura. What had once been so blindingly white was fading to a soft glow. The meaning of that change, Yuki's exhaustion and starvation was obvious, whatever power source he had been drawing from, was coming to an end. He reminded Touya of an old tin toy, slowly winding down.   
  


***

  
  
The store was mostly empty, only a few people walked the isles, mostly employees stocking the shelves for tomorrow. Touya got a cart when they went in and Yuki grabbed this and that, one time standing in debate over whether to get orange or chocolate cookies. Touya had ended the indecision by throwing both in the cart. Yuki protested but not very much, in fact he was eating the bag of orange ones as they checked out. All and all they had three bags of groceries and one very amused register clerk. Touya paid the giggling woman and they went on their way. Touya wasn't sure when he'd began to pay for all of Yuki's food; it had happened slowly, because whatever magic had kept the house running seemed to be fading as well. Just the other day, Yuki had said that his grandparents had forgotten to send him money as usual. He didn't know how the house made money for him or any of the other things it did, but its resources as well were running down.   
  
As they walked up to his door, they passed many bits of roof tile that they hadn't cleaned up yet. Yuki paused and looked up at the roof. "That's going to be a terrible mess to fix… It'll take days just to clean this up, let alone…"  
  
"It'll be fine. I'll come over tomorrow first thing and we'll get everything put back. No worries."   
  
He tried to usher Yuki in but he was still worrying about the damage. "But most of the tiles have been smashed, and they're so expensive. We could get things cleaned but then we'd have to stop there. I haven't gotten a letter yet from them and-,"   
  
"I told you, no worries." He wrapped his arm around Yuki's shoulders and got him through the door. "I got my paycheck from the deli yesterday, I have enough for the roof tiles." When Yuki opened his mouth to say something, Touya simply continued to talk. "And then when the letter does come, you can just pay me back, or not," he added with a grin, carrying the groceries. "Either way, the roof will be fixed tomorrow, so you can just relax.   
  
Yuki followed him into the kitchen, as Touya started to unpack the groceries. "Thank you, To-ya."   
  
"Don't mention it," he said tossing the other bag of cookies to Yuki. "I mean that, don't mention it. Word gets out that I actually care and it could ruin my whole reputation." He said seriously as he shoved the ice cream into the freezer. He heard Yuki giggle and walk over closer, helping with the bags.   
  
"I meant it, too. Thank You." Touya turned from the freezer and met the most serious face he'd ever seen Yuki wear. "Thank you, so much," he said, reaching out to lay a hand on Touya's arm.   
  
Touya reached out and touched the side of his face, "You're welcome."   
  
  



	13. In Sight

  
  
All my big, fluffy thanks to all my reviewers; Ciu Sune, limonada, Elihice, miss-scarlett1, and as always TamChronin. You are all an ever flowing fountain to feed my ego. *manical laugh* *ahem* Thanks.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


13

  
  
Touya set the dish down with the others to be dried and grabbed another to wash. Sakura was sound asleep finally, not to mention _home_. His conversation with the girl from the park hadn't been bad mind you, she was very sweet and reminded him of Yuki with her shyness, but Sakura was sick and shouldn't have been running around. It'd been a bit of a surprise to see her again, dressed up like Sakura, _again_. He sighed loudly as he dropped another dish in the drying pile. Sometimes he really wondered how stupid they thought he was.   
  
As worried as he was for Sakura, he knew that it was just a fever; what was going on with Yuki was far, far worse, far more serious. His steadily diminishing energy was becoming a real problem and Touya was left guessing at what to do. The look on Yuki's face before he left this evening had been chilling. He was still kicking himself for not stopping him and making him stay for the night. He didn't like the idea of Yuki all alone when he was this sick.  
  
Though he hated to admit it (it made his face twist to even think of it), the only solution he had for the mess was thanks to the Leech. He wasn't an idiot (despite popular opinion, he thought looking up at the ceiling), so he knew full well what she was after: his powers, his light, whatever it was that let him see and do the things he could. While he'd cut off his own foot before he gave that over to her, it might be the only thing that could keep Yuki alive. First time she'd leaned in close he'd known instinctively what he had to do to protect Yuki. Sometimes he really hated those flashes, the ones that seemed to only give him bad news, like the brat. (He was half tempted to get rid of his damn bike to throw a big wrench in the whole thing, but he wasn't that petty, as much as he wanted to be.)   
  
He stopped his drying and stared blankly. From where he was he _knew_ that Sakura was upstairs asleep, the stuffed toy was up and moving around and probably messing with the book (by the feel of the book), his father was asleep off to the north of him, and Yuki was soundly asleep back at his house (though Touya could feel the unhealthy paleness of his aura). In not ten seconds he could know that everyone was safe and where they were; he'd rather go deaf and blind than loose that. He knew everything that was happening around him, where everyone was; he could see his mother when no one else could… The thought of loosing that caused a painful; twisting in his stomach. It was who he was…  
  
As frightening as that sounded, it took only to reach out and feel Yuki, to taste the dimming light around him, for him to know what his decision was. In the end, there wasn't any choice really. He stacked the plates back in the cupboard and went upstairs, feeling like he was heading to his own funeral.   
  


***

  
  
"Yuki… if you keep eating the batter, we won't have any cookies left. Then where will you be?" Touya said with the sternest expression he could muster.   
  
The white haired boy just giggled and sheepishly pushed the bowl away from himself. He then licked the remaining dough off of his fingers, delicately. "I can't help it. It tastes better this way."   
  
Touya laughed and dropped a ball of chocolate cookie dough onto the tray. Yuki had woken up a few hours ago and they'd started on what they'd planned to do this white day, bake cookies. He'd given Yuki an odd look when he'd asked to do it, but Yuki had promised to have at least four dozen made for the bake sale coming up. Normally he'd have no problem doing that himself but these days that was a lot and anyway, baking cookies was more fun with help.   
  
Yuki looked forlornly at the bowl of dough from his seat. He'd tried to help but he got tired quickly and now was just watching Touya do all the work. All and all, Touya really didn't mind doing it, they were having a pretty good time, actually. He got a new spoonful and stopped to smirk at Yuki before extending the ball to his friend. "Oh, here…"  
  
With a cheer, Yuki reached out and took the glob of dough from the spoon and popped it in his mouth. He giggled again, covering his mouth as Touya rolling his eyes. He swallowed the bite and started to ramble happily again. "I can't wait till the bake sale, it should be so much fun. Okika san is making lemon cookies, hers are so good."   
  
Touya snorted and Yuki lifted his head back up and looked at him questioningly. "What? Don't you like them?"   
  
He shook his head. "No, it's not that; I'm just sure Akizuki will be there."   
  
"Hmmm… You're right her baking in class wasn't very good at all." He wrinkled up his nose and failed to notice Touya's shaking head at Yuki's denseness. "Though she is very nice…" Touya looked at him like he'd lost his mind but Yuki had laid his head back down and couldn't see it. "She certainly likes you a lot… She's very… energetic," he said finally. "That's one way to put it…" Touya mumbled under his breath.   
  
"She's also very pretty, and she's good at sports just like you. You're lucky to have found such a good match."   
  
Touya looked back from the now full tray to his friend, hoping he was joking. At first his heart dropped a bit to the smile on Yuki's face as he pulled the bowl over to himself, but Touya was never happier to see a fake smile on Yuki's face. While he was trying very hard to look happy about this, Touya could see real hurt behind his large amber eyes.   
  
"Yuki…" he started as he pulled the bowl back. "Yuki… I'm gonna be totally blunt with you here, because you seem to have the wrong idea, the totally wrong idea. I don't like Akizuki. No, no… scratch that, I can't stand Akizuki. I find her abrasive, calculating, and manipulative. I couldn't be less interested in her. I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy. So don't try and be nice about her. You can't honestly like her; she's mean to you…"   
  
At that Yuki looked up surprised, as if Touya hadn't seen the way she looked at him. He had a feeling there was other things that she was doing when he wasn't around, but he couldn't prove it. "I… She isn't that bad… it's just that…"  
  
"It's just that she takes every opportunity to tear you down. I don't know what all has been going on but there's a reason I try to keep her from being alone with you…" Yuki had resorted to staring at his hands and Touya reached out and laid his hand over Yuki's, his own dark skin dramatically contrasting Yuki's porcelain. Yuki looked up and met his eyes. "I could never like someone who treated you like that. I don't need anyone like that." He patted the side of Yuki's face lightly and he leaned into it, beginning to smile again. Touya grabbed the bowl. "Besides…" he said with a new grin. "What more could I possibly need than sitting here and making cookies with you?" he asked sliding the bowl over to him and dropping a spoon in the half full bowl.   
  
Yuki laughed and grabbed the spoon, "But there won't be enough for the cookies…" he said looking over at the cooling racks.   
  
"Sure there will be, there are three dozen over there, and another two in the oven, counting these," he said as he pushed the tray in the oven. "Leaving all of that for you to eat. See? I can plan a head," he announced proudly as Yuki started to smile broadly.   
  
"You made all this extra just for me to eat?"   
  
"Of course. Spending all this time with you, I've gotten used to making adjustments like that. And…" he jumped up and lifted Yuki from the chair before he could react and scooped him up in arms like a child, all the way Yuki retrained his hold on the bowl. "I rented a movie to watch so you can enjoy your bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough on the couch, with a good movie."   
  
Yuki giggled at the absurdity of being carried and squirmed (though Touya noted that he didn't squirm all that much). "To-ya, put me down. You don't have to carry me."   
  
"What and risk you dropping your treasure?" he said, referring to the bowl clutched in his tiny hands.   
  
Again he was treated to Yuki's giggles as he drew the bowl closer, defensively. As he settled him into the corner of the sofa (which actually was only a loveseat and one of the only pieces of modern furniture in the house) he covered him up with a snuggly cotton blanket and placed a pillow to his side. "Thanks," he said softly, embarrassed to have so much attention paid to him. He knew Yuki didn't like him to dote on him like this, Yuki hated being reminded that he was sick even though they'd never outright said it, but he also knew that Yuki was best at the end of the sofa, where he could lean back in the corner with an extra pillow to support him. He also had a bowl of very sugary food to hold him over.   
  
As the movie started Yuki snuggled down and dug into his bowl, though instead of leaning into the corner like he'd expected, Yuki stayed mostly upright, but Touya couldn't help but notice that he was drifting towards him ever so slightly.   
  


***

  
  
As Touya began to pull on his old set of gym clothes, the set that had long ago become permanent fixtures at Yuki's house, the set that had become Touya's favorite thing to sleep in (the clothes themselves felt like home, they meant that he'd be able to spend another night next to Yuki). He opened the shirt to pull it on and paused, remembering the reaction he'd gotten those months ago. A smirk spread across his face slowly and left the shirt off, holding it balled up in his hand. He'd put it on after he got out. It wasn't exactly odd for a guy to go shirtless, he rationalized as he stepped out of the bathroom.   
  
Yuki was rolling out the bed rolls as Touya walked in. "I'm almost done. I'll head in, in a second,… To… ya…" he barely got his name out as he looked up to see him there. He quickly looked back to the bedding, though Touya would have had to be blind not to see the flush of rose across his cheeks. With a malicious grin, Touya walked closer and sat down just across from him.   
  
"Sure you're alright there, you sound like you're getting tired. You look a little flushed…" he said reaching out to touch his face, working hard to keep the shark's grin off his face.   
  
"No, no, no! I'm fine. I think it's just warm in here." He said jumping up from the bedrolls, heading for the window. Unfortunately he didn't make it, as his foot caught on the futon, sending him tumbling down on top of a very surprised Touya.   
  
The amused look on Touya's face vanished to one of true shock as Touya found himself on his back with Yuki laying on top of him, his face inches from his own. Suddenly he did agree that it _did_ seem a bit hot in there and he had a good feeling that his own face was as red as Yuki's. Unbidden, flashes of the dream washed over his vision, the only thing that broke the illusion was the fact that the room was lit and it was always dark in the dream. Still… he was frozen by his bright amber eyes and Yuki seemed equally caught. As if in a daze he reached up and brushed the side if his face, pushing his hair back, "Are you alright?"   
  
"Uh…" he began, his eyes closing a bit at his touch. His hand came up and laid softly on Touya's bare shoulder. Touya began to slowly bring his face towards Yuki's, watching Yuki's eyes begin to close further, when a pair of cats apparently decided that it was the right time to get in a fight. "Oh, I'm sorry…" Yuki said, shaken from his trance and pushing himself up, more than a little breathless. "I'll… I'll be right back," he said quickly, darting out the room.   
  
After watching the door slide closed behind him Touya dropped back onto the floor with a thud with an audible groan. Muttering a few choice words about cats and why they should be kept indoors, he opened a window and glared at the just past full moon.   
  


***

  
  
The waxing sliver of a moon threw its pale light through the small windows in Yuki's room. White paper panels set in pine frames took on a gentle lighting, the stillness of the traditional room snuffing out all sounds. Even Yuki, always making small noises in his sleep, was eerily silent; laying so still Touya laid a hand on his thin chest occasionally to verify he was still breathing. He wasn't sure that Yuki needed to breathe at all, but still… Touya worried. Sakura was still tired these days but she was getting stronger, a good change had occurred over the last week. At least, in her… he thought looking at the very still form next to him.   
  
Also there were other things that he was less than happy about, the very air of late had felt wrong, electrified almost. He figured it had to do with the boy he'd seen that day, the one that felt like his father, was his father, but wasn't. It was confusing but he knew it was right, just like he knew the leech that had transferred to his class was tied to him just like he felt Yuki was now tied to Sakura. It wasn't like the way that she was tied to the foreign brat, this bond was more physical. If he looked closely he could almost see a hair fine ribbon passing between her and Yuki, white and pure, though…   
  
Touya rolled over and stared at the formless ceiling, folding his arms behind his head.   
  
Though that ribbon was faint… and even now that it was growing, it appeared that the damage was already done. He looked over at Yuki's too still form and watched the once steady and strong pearly glow flicker and waver, too dim to see without looking for it, when a few years ago it had been blinding. Sakura's tiny ribbon couldn't hold him much longer…   
  
Touya could feel his eyes begin to tear as he reached over to touch his sleeping form again, stroking his baby soft hair, and he didn't bother to wipe them away or hold them back. Through blurring eyes he watched Yuki's light shift unhealthily, his own pale blue light over powering Yuki's. Letting his vision waver, he watched Yuki without his eyes, praying to whoever would listen that this could be fixed as easily as he thought, that there wouldn't be any permanent damage. He didn't know why but he kept waiting for Yuki to put two and two together, to finally let go of the illusions that he was lost in. He didn't need them, but Touya was still so fearful of shattering those lies. They were the basis to his whole world, but they weren't _all_ of his world, not anymore. Even if Touya was misconstruing the blushes and sputtering, even if Yuki would never be interested in him like Touya was, he still had him as a friend, family even. He didn't need those lies.   
  
Easy… he hoped that Yuki could be saved as easy as he thought… That's how fearful and desperate he'd become not to loose Yuki, to consider giving up something so essential to who he was as an "easy solution". He sat up partially, slowly leaning over Yuki's still body and softly brushed his lips across Yuki's, with their delicate wash of pink over too pale skin. He would wait as long as he could, but if Yuki couldn't wake himself up, Touya would have to, no matter how much it hurt.   
  
  



	14. Waking

  
  
Look another post! No, no, everyone hold your applause... Well alright go a head. :-D Thanks to all my reveiwers, Lady DeathAngel, Elihice, Ciu Sune, Maze-chan, butterflydreaming, Laurus Nobilis, Larania Drake, miss-scarlett1, and as ever TamChronin.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


14

  
  
Touya picked his head up and looked around himself quickly. For a moment he had a flash of panic, unsure of where he was or anyone else for that matter. Thankfully he got a hold of himself shortly enough, seeing Yuki and recognizing the small yard as Yuki's. "Are you okay?" Yuki asked, walking over to him and crouching, wearing the same worried expression that he wore far, far too often these days.   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just fell asleep I guess." He wiped his eyes and looked over the garden. "How long was I out?"   
  
He still wasn't good at recognizing some things, places he was particularly bad at. He was getting better at looking at things and people; it was like what he'd heard about blind people suddenly being able to hear everything. Still, it was odd seeing some places with the light sucked out of them; _everything_ was missing the light for that matter. He'd never liked tv much, it was too dead, had no life to it; it didn't look like real life, no matter what people told him. He guessed it was to him what silent movies were to everyone else. Unfortunately, now his whole life was a silent movie.   
  
"About an hour, I think. Would you like something to drink, or a sandwich maybe?" he asked, touching his shoulder lightly as if he would shatter.   
  
Though… Living in a silent movie was a hundred times better than the alternative, he thought letting a tender grin on his face. "Nah, I'm good," he said, reaching out to lightly brush the side of Yuki's face, gaining a soft smile from Yuki in return. "Just needed a nap I guess. How much is left to do?" Another benefit he'd found since that day was that Yuki had become more affectionate than before, and Touya was far less fearful to do things like touch him or lean in close. He had all but made up his mind to confess, but he was still afraid, ever testing the waters.   
  
"Ummm…" Yuki came back to himself as Touya began to stand and looked back to the garden. "I've gotten in all the bulbs and the bush actually. We're all done."   
  
"Well, looks like I woke up at the perfect time, don't you think?" He smirked and stretched lazily. "Besides, after all the extra work I did when you weren't feeling well, I'd say it's my turn to lay around." Yuki laughed as they headed into the house, but Touya could tell it wasn't a full laugh. Despite his best efforts, Yuki still felt guilty about it all.   
  


***

  
"No, I can get that," Yuki said, jumping up quickly to gather the plates before Touya could stand.   
  
Dinner had been good: soba and vegetables. Yuki might be willing to eat cardboard (with a smile), but he was a very good cook. After his nap, it was only the sheer amount he'd eaten that had slowed Touya down in getting up to take his own plate. "Yuki, I could have gotten that, really. You don't have to do everything," he said, turning in his chair to watch Yuki bustle about.   
  
Yuki waved a hand lightly to the other boy behind him. "I can handle it, besides, I spent so long laying around, it's nice to be able to do things again." There was a forced lightness in his velvety voice that Touya disliked. "I made a couple carrot cakes yesterday, so we can have some desert once I'm done."  
  
Touya considered this for a few moments but the part of him that still remembered that he was human and was made to only be able to eat so much before he'd explode protested. "Sorry Yuki, as good as that sounds, I think I'll drop over dead if I eat anything else. Why don't we wait a couple years for that cake… Well at least for me, you can have some, I'm sure you'll be able to force yourself to eat some later with me, if there's any left that is." Touya did his best to lighten things when Yuki got like this, but sometimes it was harder than others.   
  
Yuki smiled back, almost a normal smile too, but it was lost when he looked at the table past Touya. "Oh! Your drink, I totally forgot about it. I'll get it." He quickly dried his hands and darted over to the table, snatching up the glass before Touya could stop him.  
  
"Yuki…"  
  
He refilled the glass of milk and set it down on the table. "There. Now are you sure you don't want any cake? I can cut you a small piece."  
  
"Yuki…"  
The smaller boy seemed to hear nothing and his small hands had a slice cut in seconds flat. "You can just pick at it if nothing else. Why don't I bring in our book bags so we can just do our homework here."  
  
He started to head out of the room, but Touya called after him quickly. "Yuki!" he was starting to make Touya's head spin.  
  
Yuki stopped and turned, still looking anxious. "You're right, working on the sofa would be more comfortable, certainly after working outside all day." He paused only a second and then turned to leave again. "It's getting chilly, I'll get a blanket from upstairs."  
  
"Yuki!" Touya finally got up and caught Yuki's arm, pulling him back. "Stop… Tell me I wasn't this bad when _you_ were sick," he asked with a soft smile and then reached up to pat the side of his face, growing more serious. "You don't have to do all this. I'm fine, really."  
  
Yuki suddenly looked very sad and leaned into Touya's hand. "No, you're not…" he replied softly. "…and you never will be again… You're always going to be tired and sick and…"  
  
"And thankful," Touya finished. "Unbelievably thankful." At Yuki's puzzled look he continued, "What would have happened if I hadn't been born with my gifts, or if I couldn't have given my power at all to save you? What then? Where would I be?"   
  
"Healthy, happy-" Yuki started but Touya stopped him before he could continue.  
  
"Happy? Tell me you're not serious, Yuki. How could I be happy with you dead? I'd rather be without my gift, plus crippled and blind than see you killed, even hurt…" He saw tears welling up in Yuki's amber eyes and reached out to grasp his shoulder and laid a hand gently on top of his head.  
  
He started to cry, softy protesting, "But… but…"   
  
"I'd be all alone, and I wouldn't have even had a body to mourn; you would've just disappeared, leaving me behind… I couldn't have lived like that…" Yuki stepped forward, burying his tear covered face in Touya's chest, and Touya drew him closer still, wrapping him up in his arms. "Don't ever apologize for this; a god certainly smiled at me when I was born with the ability to protect you, to keep you close… You mean everything to me," he mumbled into his baby soft hair, running his hand lightly across his back.   
  
He held Yuki a bit longer, letting him cry as long as he wanted, more than happy to comfort the small boy and maybe enjoy the feel of holding him, taking in the smell of him, fresh and clean like the world after a rain. It was hard to tell, though, when he stopped comforting him and was just holding him, and at some point Yuki had circled _his_ arms around Touya. Eventually, they loosened their grip and Yuki seemed to think his shoes fascinating, wringing his hands. "Thanks… You're very kind. We… We should get to our homework, or we'll never get done."  
  
Touya reached after him as he headed into the living room but drew his hand back silently. Tomorrow. Somehow tomorrow always seemed a better day to confess; he wouldn't make some horrible mistake if he just waited till tomorrow. There was always tomorrow.  
  


***

  
  
Touya sat up with a start, gasping in the darkness and looking about wildly. The room was dark and for a frightening moment he didn't know where he was and even worse he couldn't feel anything, anyone, bringing a chilling reality to the nightmare he'd just woken from, had been waking from every night for the past week: Yuki gone and dead. Icy terror gripped him as he ripped the blankets away, his vision already blurring badly and his chest unbearably tight, when he heard a soft voice behind him and a small hand laid on his shoulder. "To-ya, are you alright?"  
  
He turned quickly to see Yuki sitting just behind him, still partially wrapped in his bed, his baby blue pajamas rumpled slightly from just waking. "To-," Yuki got no further as Touya grabbed him and held him tighter than he'd ever held anyone.   
  
He was there, he was safe and alive and there. "Thank the gods…" he whispered, drawing him as close his possibly could.  
  
Yuki held him back without complaint, reaching around him to wrap his arms around Touya's neck as the nightmares abated and reality returned. He was at Yuki's home, he remembered. He was spending the night after helping Yuki work in his garden, they'd done their homework and gorged themselves on carrot cake, Yuki had eaten one and a half all on his own. They'd gone to sleep without incident, well… until now. Somewhere in the back of Touya's mind he mused at the happy coincidence of getting to hold Yuki twice in one day, though it was probably tomorrow by the position of the full moon in the window. Yuki pulled back and looked up at him, his white hair taking on a light of its own in the pale light. "To-ya? What happened? You cried out in your sleep and then… Are you alright?" he asked softly, his face painted with worry as he reached up to touch Touya's face.  
  
"I am now." He turned his head to nuzzle Yuki's hand lightly, catching it in his own. He earned a gentle look from Yuki, his eyes closing a bit. "I… I had a nightmare. The transfer didn't work, and you… You were gone." He could barely get the last part out, fearful that saying it too loudly would bring it into being and he ran a hand across Yuki's hair to cup the side of his face. "Then I woke up and couldn't feel you… I thought it was real."  
  
Yuki made a small noise. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, To-ya."  
  
He leaned forward, his beautiful face turned up to Touya and with Yuki's hand still clutched in his, his other hand lightly holding Yuki's face, his arms still remembering clearly the feel of holding him… "Promise?" Whatever was left of his fear and uncertainty crumbled to bits as he bent down to meet Yuki's lips with his own.  
  
What started out gentle and questioning built into something deep and drawing, and before it ended in some rather deep breathing it had hit a whole new pitch. They were still clutching each other as they caught their breath, Touya pressing his cheek against Yuki's. "I love you… and I'm praying that that kiss wasn't just you being too shocked to deck me. I know I'm just throwing this at you, and I really did want to do this when things were calmer and not so nuts. You mean so much to me, I didn't want to ruin this, I don't know what I'd do without you. I-," he was stopped when Yuki leaned back and covered Touya's mouth with his hand; tears were evident in his golden eyes.  
  
"You love me?" It was barely more than a whisper as he drew his hand back.  
  
"Since the first time I saw you, since before that even." He let out a light laugh and ran a hand through Yuki's hair. "It may have taken be me a bit to realize it, but… but you're all I've ever wanted. You make me whole."  
  
Tears that had been held back fell freely and Yuki tried in vain to wipe them away. "Why…?" As Yuki began his question through his growing sobs, Touya's heart froze, a million doubts and fears rearing up and announced their victory. Touya could barely hear Yuki continue over their cheers. "Why did you wait so long?" Finally his turned his face back up, streaked with tears and smiling at him, and Touya's heart began to beat again.  
  
Relief washed over him, and he smiled back at him and leaned down close, bringing his lips a breath from Yuki's then moved them up, tracking the arc of his cheek bone to stop so close to his ear that he brushed it lightly as he whispered, "How can I ever make it up to you?" He dipped his head down and ran his lips down his neck, heading for his shoulders, only stopped by the collar of Yuki's pajama top. Little noises escaped Yuki's throat as Touya enjoyed the taste of his skin and the feel of Yuki's fingers in his hair. After being stopped by his clothes, Touya moved back to his previous position and caught Yuki's lips again.   
  
This time, Yuki's lips parted quickly, allowing Touya's tongue to run across his own while his hands explored the object of his every dream from the first time. He slid a hand up the front of Yuki's chest under his shirt. The soft skin was intoxicating and yet again Touya was frustrated by the overabundance of clothes. He let out a low growl as he drew back from Yuki, and met his surprised and amused expression. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, he let out a gasp as Touya pulled Yuki's shirt over his head. Tossing the disruptive garment aside, he took a moment to look him over. Yuki's shocked expression vanished into a deep blush as Touya drew him close again, "Much better…" Kissing him again he ran his finger tips across the soft skin and felt small hands sliding beneath the back of his shirt. Reluctantly Yuki stopped touching him long enough for Touya to pull his own shirt off. "How's that?"  
  
"Much better!" he said quickly with a wide grin and pounced on him.   
  
More than a little surprised by the sudden playfulness, Touya was easily pushed back onto the floor. Yuki giggled and claimed a kiss of his own with a level of passion that left Touya breathless. When he regained himself he slipped a hand into Yuki's hair and pulled him closer, matching his fervor. They stayed like that for a bit, Yuki straddling his hips and kissing down his neck and across his chest, until Touya drew him up again and tightened his grip. Yuki barely had time to let out a little "eep!" as Touya flipped him underneath himself. Yuki looked up and giggled and the lecherous smirk on his face before Touya silenced him with another kiss. He shifted position a bit to bring a thigh up between Yuki's, granting him with a muffled moan. Enjoying the new sensation, not only the feel of Yuki's _evident interest_ but his own against Yuki's hip. Yuki moaned into his mouth as he wrapped a leg around Touya as they started to rock against each other. Their lips parted eventually as their movements sped up and they buried their faces into each others shoulders, Yuki's fingertips digging into his back.  
  
Unable to take this much longer, he slipped a hand into Yuki's waistband and pulled back. The flush in Yuki's face visible again, Touya kissed him and then slowly drew off what was left of his love's clothes. The pants fell into a rumpled pile and Touya leaned back to enjoy the view; Yuki blushed and squirmed under his gaze. Touya laughed. "Look who's suddenly shy? Weren't you the one that just had my ass in a death grip, grinding against my leg?" Yuki looked mortified and tried to disappear, but at Touya's laugher he pounced again, pushing him backwards and landing on top of him triumphantly.   
  
"So I'm the degenerate here? You're the one who kissed me, you're the one who took off both of our shirts, you're the one who pulled off my _pants_, and I'm the pervert?"  
  
"No," Touya said laughing, looking up the luminescent creature above him, the moonlight behind him casting his hair in a halo and the breath caught in his chest. When he'd given over his gift to save him, a little bit of him had mourned the loss not of the radar sense, but the sight to see the way Yuki glowed, the light the poured out of him; he'd been afraid that the love he felt would die without being able to see that. But, there he was, perched above him in the moonlight, his smile brighter than any aura could ever be; even his blind, ordinary eyes could see the blinding light the surrounded him. He was light given flesh. "…you're beautiful."   
  
The broad grin changed into a soft smile that told Touya everything he needed to know, but just in case there was any confusion, Yuki leaned down and gently kissed him on the lips. "I love you, To-ya. I always have, I always will."  
  
"Promise?" he asked with a smile, kissing him softly back. They kissed a bit more and Touya again rolled them over and managed to get them onto Yuki's bed roll, instead of half on the floor mats like they had been. His own shorts found their way to the pile of clothes and Touya pulled the blankets over them, Yuki's slender legs wrapping around him again, drawing them together. Gently Touya slipped Yuki's glasses back off and put them of to the side where they always sat during the night and he kissed the soft skin of Yuki's eyelids, then ran the kisses down to his lips and across his jaw line. The silken feel of his skin was a reason in an of itself to continue, and as the pace yet again picked up, he looked up above Yuki's head at the ink painting of the cranes that had watched over so many dreams of this, for so many years. For a moment Yuki looked at him in question, but Touya only shook his head and smiled before kissing him again.   
  
After so long, after all those nights only dreaming, after all those years wasted with doubts and fears… he was finally… home.  
  
  



	15. Looking Back

  
  
I'd like to thank my reviewers: butterflydreaming, Laurus Nobilis, Maze-chan and her twin, Larania Drake, Elihice, miss-scarlett1, Lady DeathAngel, and as ever TamChronin.  
  
In responce to the questions about the power transfer, I didn't write about it because that area was well illustrated in the manga, so it wans't nessary for me to write about it. The battle with Yue was well shown, but not from Touya's pov, yet for him to catch Yuki at the perfect point logic sugests that he was present for the whole thing. Going over what we've already read I always found pretty boring to reread and I know its boring to write. I always liked Touya and liked the way he was always involved in everything in a little. Unfortunetly they never showed how and what he was doing exactly, hence the fanfic.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


15

  
  
Clear morning's light danced through the small room, cleaning away any remnants of the night. Faint sounds of dawn filtered through the windows, bird songs, cars and bikes went by, an old woman across the street called after a cat as she swept her walk. A truly lovely morning toped off with the comfortable feel of waking up with Yuki draped across him. He drew his arms around him gently, not wanting to wake him but craving to hold him. Ruffling his hair, he took in a deep breath of his lover's scent, a sensation intensified by the knowledge that Yuki _was_ his lover, truly and fully. It had taken him years to get to this morning and it was everything he'd fantasized it to be and more. He'd never felt so at ease, so comfortable.  
  
Smiling at himself, Touya suddenly could clearly recall the first morning he'd woken up from the dream and finally known who he was dreaming about; the panic and rage that had hit him then. It was funny now, but then it had been unbearable. That day had been a nightmare for both of them, really, he recalled. He'd been horrible to Yuki all day, and had been just less than horrible for days just before that morning. The pain he'd inflicted on Yuki for nothing that had been his fault at all. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity, though he didn't beat himself over it, he'd long since made up for it. Luckily, he didn't think Yuki was capable of holding a grudge.  
  
Not telling him things seemed to be the one way to drive Yuki away. He'd gone to such great lengths to hide his gifts at first, and that had been the one thing he'd done that might have actually lost him. Touya had gotten used to playing things off as chance and lucky guess, actually telling someone was too difficult and never ended well. No one had ever reacted like Yuki did; not only was he utterly trusting in what Touya told him, but he didn't treat it as anything different than a sense, like anyone else had. No ridiculous claims, games, or accusations; he'd just accepted him. Kaho had been only other person he'd ever met like that.  
  
She'd been such a part of his life he hadn't really be able to let go till he'd really gotten to compare them directly. As much as it had butchered him to see her again, showing no doubt or even remorse about their break up, he'd needed to see her for what she was, see what he really felt about her, so he'd finally let go and take the beautiful thing in front of him. He still cared for her, that wouldn't change, but he finally saw those feelings for what they really were, and what they weren't. If not for her returning he probably would have held that torch for the rest of his life and never truly committed to Yuki. Settled as he was in Yuki's arms, there was still a whisper of a regret that he'd never have children.  
  
That was real life after all, grow up, get married, have kids. That was how things worked, anything else was making your life meaningless and empty, but… He kissed the top of Yuki's head. But somehow this seemed like it would be enough, just to be like this. And any way, he was certain that Sakura and the brat would have a couple of kids he could play with, spoil, and tell stories about how their father was a worthless ingrate. The very thought brought a grin to his face. As much as he liked kids, he figured that this was for the best anyway; he'd spent most of his childhood raising his sister. In all reality, he'd already raised a child (well she wasn't exactly "raised" yet and he'd more than happy to remind the brat of the fact, if he ever forgot it).  
  
That little foreign mongrel had been the bane of is existence since he'd gotten here, and now he'd end up an in-law. He had a bad taste in his mouth just from the thought. He'd always "known" that he was bound to Sakura, and yet he'd consistently gone after Yuki for most of the time. Any less than violent feelings that he might have had for the brat had been snuffed out just from that. What truly sent him fuming was the simple fact that he knew that he wasn't all that bad and she could have done a lot worse. All and all the guy seemed to worship her: his only redeeming quality. Still he figured he'd have to have Yuki gag him at the wedding in order to keep himself quiet. Ropes might also be necessary or maybe one of those cards could do the job, he guessed.   
  
The houseguests: magical cards that some guy had created eons ago, along with the toy and Yuki (plus his other half). He'd nearly died the day Sakura had released them, as he'd only recently discovered that that was what caused Yuki to take that fit way back when. He'd never been so terrified; the thought of loosing him even then had been too much to bear. That had also been the first time he'd seen the other one, Yue.  
  
Yue was an enigma in and of himself. At times Touya could see Yuki plain as day in his eyes, and others… other times it was chilling how unlike Yuki he was. He wasn't sure what to think of him, it wasn't very clear where Yuki ended and he began, the day of the transfer it had been striking how much like Yuki he was. Hurt and withdrawn, still the light in those blue eyes had been unmistakenly like Yuki's. Hopefully he'd see more of Yue in the future; the transfer had not been the best of times to get to know him. Though, there was one good thing he could say about it being done and settled, Akizuki had gone home to England.  
  
He "knew" that she was only doing what she thought her master wanted, that she couldn't be technically held accountable for what she'd done, but the hurt she'd caused Yuki and how close she'd gotten to seeing him dead was too much for him. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to forgive the bony leech, but was certain it wouldn't come any time soon. He was never so happy to see someone go as her. The situation with Yuki and his ever growing worry then hadn't helped be able to stand her at all.  
  
He looked up behind himself at the wall with its delicate ink painting of cranes in the snow and remembered the first time he'd seen them. He'd nearly choked, or simply torn off Yuki's clothes and take him right then and there. He'd been having dreams about making love to Yuki under those cranes since he was fourteen years old; that was a long time for that to build up and he was rather impressed with himself that he hadn't just jumped him. With a silly grin he wondered what Yuki would have done if he _had_ done that way back when.  
  
The light that streamed into the room was getting brighter, telling him that it was time to get up. As much as he wanted to just curl up and stay like this forever, he had practice today. Quietly he slipped from the blankets, careful not to wake his sleeping angel. As much as he was dedicated to the team, there was no way he was about to spend his first day with Yuki running laps; he had no intention of staying for the practice at all. The only reason he was going at all was to give a book back to Matsuo, one of the players. He'd need it to finish his homework for Monday and Touya wasn't going to mess Matsuo's homework up to snuggle with Yuki, no matter how tempting it was. He grabbed a scrap of paper and left a short note, though he figured he'd have more than enough time to make it back before he woke. Scooping up his clothes, Touya crept from the room.  
  


***

  
  
Drawing on his shoes he looked up at a decoration of pinecones Yuki had made and sat in the entrance. He'd collected the pinecones on their Golden Week vacation those many months ago. Things had been bad last Golden Week so they hadn't been able to go through with their plans, but this upcoming year Touya would be sure to get one of those cabins. The smaller ones were perfectly affordable and it was well worth the price to make Yuki that happy. He didn't think he'd ever had so much fun.  
  
He headed out and cut through the backyard towards the school, passing their little pond. Now that had been fun; he'd had mud in places he'd never imagined you could get mud. It was also good to know that he wouldn't have to play the grandmother game ever again. He'd hated lying to Yuki, it never failed to bother him, and he was always fearful of popping that balloon before Yuki was ready. In the end, Touya thought it had turned out alright: Yuki was happy and in just a few months they'd head off to college and move out of this doll house and into a real home. Their home. It was warming thought that nearly sent him right back into the house to Yuki, but as ever his sense of duty won out and he grudgingly headed off towards the school to return the book. He wouldn't be gone more than a half hour, tops; he could bear to be parted from him that long.  
  
The streets were average for a Saturday morning, few cars though many pedestrians up and going about their weekend chores. He waved to a couple classmates heading off towards the business part of town, no doubt headed off to do some shopping, and he also saw a few others riding past possibly to a part time job or such. The main street towards school already active with people and cars; a few vendors had opened their fruit, vegetable, and news paper stands, calling out their wares. On his way home he figured on grabbing something from the fruit stand for breakfast, Yuki certainly would enjoy it, he thought with a laugh. He was just passing the last booth when he saw the gates of the school come into view, but before he could break into a jog, he heard someone shout behind him.  
  
He looked back just in time to see the delivery truck jump the curb.  
  
  


***

  
  
Author's Comment 2, the Return: In responce to L-Chan's question from way back in the first chapter: no, this entire fic is not written from Touya's pov. Though it has been up until this point, I guarentee that the rest of the fic won't be.  
  
And with that said, Merry Chrismas, let the lynching begin.  
  
  



	16. Of Ice

  
  
As ever I would like to say thanks to all my reviewers: Ciu Sune, Elihice, butterflydreaming, Rini-sama, Daemonchan, Maze-chan, ForestGlenny, and as ever TamChronin whom you can all blame for setting someone who only writes dark, twisted things on a Touya X Yuki fic. :-D Oh and... *ahem* when can I expect my satirical fanart? And the whole hitting Yuki with the truck was tempting but alas I have plans for him that will be far worse than hitting him with a truck.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


16

  
  
The doors slid aside painfully slow and the man barely kept himself from trying to shove them aside by hand. His lungs burned painfully and his side had a deep knife in it, but he still managed to break into a run when the doors finally decided to part. "Touya!" he gasped out at woman behind the desk, trying to find some breath. "Kinomoto Touya, is he here?"  
  
The woman, who had been looking to the right, behind her, snapped around. "What?"  
  
"Kinomoto Touya, they told me he was here. I'm his father."  
  
The woman's eyes widened. "Y-yes, he was brought here, but-"  
  
Fujitaka wasn't interested in whatever had the woman so shaken and stopped her. "Where is he? Is he alright?"  
  
She began to emphatically shake her head. "He's back there, but you can't see him, you don't understand. Th-" but anything else she might have said was lost, as he took off in the direction she'd pointed with her shaking hand: off to the right, behind her. "Sir!"  
  
He paid her no heed, and tore past the desk, barely registering the way everyone was looking in the direction he was heading, or the odd way the small swinging door to the desk area was sealed with a very large amount of ice. He didn't have to go far, though and came up to a twin set of doors, nursing staff and doctors all staring and whispering towards the same doors. He reached forward to shove them open, knowing instinctively this was where his son was, but found the doors wouldn't budge. He was about to shout for someone to unlock them when he saw the ice formed along the frame and in-between the doors themselves, the windows were covered in frost. He pounded on them again and found they wouldn't move a centimeter and as he looked back, he saw that not only were the doors (both here and at the desk) sealed, but there were erratic formations of ice everywhere, one man was even having ice removed from around his one arm.  
  
More than a little confused, Fujitaka turned back to the door and began to rub at the frost with his sleeve, desperate to find out what had happened, though he was already fearing the answer. He watched the thin ice give way and slowly he could see into the small, dark room.   
  
Ice covered everything: walls, the floor, instrument tables, counters, and tendrils of it had even snaked up the legs of the gurney. The only movement in the room was Tsukishiro's small form, laying over the gurney, sobbing hysterically over Touya's very still body.  
  
Finally, Fujitaka let the tears fall as he slid down the door, crying into his hands as the frost reformed over the small window.  
  


***

  
  
Carefully, Fujitaka pulled the blankets up around his daughter, and now only remaining child. Her little eyes were bright red even in sleep, and her cheeks were still flushed. As he kissed her lightly on the forehead he had to fight hard not to break down again and brushed her hair a side before standing up again. On her pillow, her little friend Kero walked and patted her cheek, worry etching deep lines in the little face. "Don't worry," he said softly, flying up to his face. "If she wakes up I'll be here. You should go get some sleep."  
  
He shook his head, "Thank you, I know you'll take care of her, she relies on you a lot and she needs a friend right now, but I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. Besides, Tsukishiro san is down stairs and he was still awake." Kero nodded and headed back to the pillow to curl up next to his mistress. Thankfully she'd finally cried herself to sleep after meeting them at the hospital hours and hours ago.   
  
  
He hadn't sat next to the icy door long when he heard her shouting for him. She was already in tears, her friend, Diadoji san, close behind her. "Dad?! Dad!" he hadn't even been able to get up before she had him wrapped in a hug. "What happened!? Tell me it didn't happen! Please! Please…" she pleaded, knowing better than he what had happened, her powers growing swiftly. He himself was still trying to make sense of what he could now feel, but even he had known something had gone very, very wrong before the hospital had called him. Sakura…, Sakura was used to her gifts enough to know what she had felt.   
  
Diadoji san had said that she just started crying in practice and had run out the gate, certain that something terrible had happened. They'd reached the site of the accident just after the ambulance had left, and from there she'd run on foot to the hospital to find Fujitaka on the floor. Though, as fast as they'd both arrived, neither of them had beaten Tsukishiro san.   
  
Eventually he'd heard from the staff what had happened just before his arrival. They had pronounced Touya dead shortly after he'd reached the hospital, in actuality he'd died instantly and had been gone before the ambulance arrived; the pronouncing was only a legal matter. They'd barely called the time when Yuki had ran through the doors, screaming for him, demanding to know where he was. The nurses had stopped him, telling him that only family could see him and he'd have to wait, but he'd listened to none of it. As he ran past the desk the door had frozen solid and as nurses and security tried to stop him he threw them back, partially incasing some in ice, throwing balls of blue that froze whatever they touched. When he'd reached the room Touya was in, the doors had sealed behind him, locking out anyone that would try to remove him.   
  
When Sakura arrived she'd been able to banish all the ice and he had tenderly pulled Tsukishiro off of his love's corpse. Drawing him into an embrace, Fujitaka wasn't sure if his intension to comfort the boy, or be comforted. Maybe he just needed to hold onto something that had meant so much to his son, for so long. He hooked his other arm around Sakura and held them both for good while. Eventually Diadoji had reached up to take Sakura and Yuki's hands, leading them away from the body, deeming it not a good place to be.   
  
As she took them out to sit, Fujitaka paused for a moment and brushed the hair from his son's face. He looked around him but saw nothing, not Touya's ghost or even his wife's. Surely if she had stayed all this time, wouldn't he? Maybe there were terms or rules to staying that he didn't know, he reasoned, and tried in vain to wipe the tears away as he looked back down to him. He was so young, not even graduated, it just didn't seem right. They'd already lost Nadeshiko, why did they have to lose Touya too? The house would fall apart without him; they needed him.   
  
Why?   
  
The sobs from outside the room filtered in and he touched his son's cool face softly, whispering, "Good bye, Touya." That said he left the room to find his daughter and her friend, and… and he didn't know what to call Tsukishiro, but he was family, no matter what term he could use. Sakura had him wrapped up in her arms with Diadoji leaning on her, crying as well. Timidly a doctor approached them, "You… You are Kinomoto san's father?"   
  
"Yes. I'm… I'm very sorry for all this, I-" but his apologies were cut off when Sakura handed Tsukishiro to her friend and wiped her tears away.   
  
"No, **I'm** sorry. Yukito was upset, he didn't mean to cause any trouble, he…" she had to pause for a moment to regain herself and Fujitaka knelt down beside her, drawing her into another hug.   
  
"It's alright, Sakura, you can sit down." But she shook her head and re-straightened.   
  
"He was very close to Touya, and I'm sorry for any damage he caused. I removed all the ice. I hope he didn't hurt anyone."   
Fujitaka didn't know where she found the strength to stand there and say all that, but she did, looking very mature in spite of all that had happened. The doctor said that the only injury would be fine, that she didn't need to worry, though he looked decidedly frightened by the fact that this little girl had wiped away all the very large amount of ice.   
  
She'd nodded and went back to sit with Tsukishiro, her guardian (he believed that was the term) and continued to hold him, he hadn't stopped crying yet and showed no signs of do that anything time soon. The doctor then pulled him aside and delicately asked if he had any idea where he wanted the body to be taken. Somehow he remembered the name of the place that had handled Nadeshiko's funeral, and gave him the name, telling him that he'd call them as soon as he got home. The doctor clearly wanted Touya and the rest of his odd family out of their doors quickly, and as broken hearted as he was, he couldn't blame him.   
  
Fujitaka came down the stairs to see Tsukishiro still curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and crying. He had never not understood Touya's attachment to this boy, being, whatever; he was a delight: friendly, kind, giving, he'd made Touya whole in a way that Fujitaka had feared he'd never be. Touya had been so withdrawn, so private; the chance that Touya would remain alone had been a mounting possibility until he'd brought Yukito home. He hadn't been sure about them at the beginning, but even that first day, he'd thought that the way that Touya looked at him wasn't what he thought normal for friends. "Tsukishiro?" he asked, sitting down with him again, patting his shoulder. When his only response was a shake of the head and burying his face further into his drawn up knees, he reached over and pulled him close. "It's okay. It's okay."   
  
He felt the small arms encircle him as Tsukishiro cried softly into his chest. Now so late, Yuki's tears weren't any longer hysterical sobs, but rather soft whimpers and pleads to whatever god was listening. He rubbed his back gently and let himself cry again; he'd made no promises to Touya and apparently, neither had Tsukishiro.   
  


***

  
Fujitaka had woken feeling warm and as he blinked his eyes open he found the source, Tsukishiro san has fallen asleep against him and he hadn't had the heart to move him. The reality of yesterday came down on him again and he reached up to brush away new forming tears. As he shifted, he felt Tsukishiro stir and he leaned back from him, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. "Oh," he said, realizing whom he had woken up with. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."   
  
He patted the boy's head softly. "It's alright, you needed a shoulder." He stood up and stretched, pulling himself together. Falling apart again wasn't an option, he had to make breakfast and tend to other little matters of day-to-day life. Someone had to stay sane right now, Touya wasn't there to pick up the pieces anymore. "I'm going to go make breakfast, any requests?"  
  
Yuki shook his head sadly. "No, that's alright. I'm not hungry."   
  
Fujitaka knew full well how bad that was; though he had to admit he wasn't very hungry either. "I know, but you should still eat." With that he headed into the kitchen to prepare a meal that no doubt no one wanted.   
  


***

  
  
"Tsukishiro, you don't have to do that," he said, pulling the dishes out of his hands. "I can handle this; you can just rest."  
  
But he just shook his head, and reaching for the dishes weakly. "You shouldn't have to do everything, I'm not the only one hurt here… He was your son…" he began to wring his hands. "I should be taking care of you."   
  
Fujitaka smiled a little sadly and patted his head. "Yes, but he was special to you, too." He thought for a moment and then handed the boy a towel. "What do you say we both do the dishes; you can dry?" For a moment Tsukishiro looked at the towel and Fujitaka thought he'd start crying again as his eyes started to shimmer a bit, but he took a deep breath and blotted his eyes and smiled, at least a little.   
  
"That sounds like a good deal."   
  
They cleared through most of the dishes in relative silence, each caught up in their own memories and regrets. As they reached near the bottom of the pile, Fujitaka spoke up. "When you and him did dishes, he washed and you dried, right?" Tsukishiro nodded, not looking up from his drying.   
  
"It silly, I know, to get sentimental about dishes, but… But it was so normal and comfortable, I loved doing little things like this with him, dishes, gardening, laundry; it was… real." He shook his head at himself and set the dish down. "I don't know why I'm getting so upset about dishes." Fujitaka could hear Tsukishiro's voice beginning to crack. "Their just dishes, I mean what's next, crying about walking on the same floor he did, being in the same house that he was…" he started to cry, wringing the towel in his small hands.   
  
"It's okay, Yukito," he said gently, patting his arm, but he was too upset and pulled away angrily.   
  
"No, it's not okay! And it never will be! Ever! He's gone!" He started to sob again but instead threw the towel. "He's gone and for what?! For a book! For a stupid book! It's not fair! Of all the people that truck could have hit, why him?! It can't be him! It can't." The anger had left his voice and he crumpled to the floor, Fujitaka catching him and holding him as he sobbed, pleading quietly, "It can't, it just can't. I need him… Please, I need him. I can't loose him… I can't, please… please…" he pulled the boy close as he cried and begged for his love back, rocking him softly. "…please…"  
  


***

  
  
"I'm so sorry, he was a lovely boy," if Fujitaka heard that one more time he was going to scream, he was sure of it. He knew they meant well, but if there was one thing he knew, it was the fact that Touya had been a perfect child. Sometimes he'd made Fujitaka feel like the child with how he behaved. He'd thrived when people needed him, always had, it was one of the reasons he'd never felt very bad about laying so much of Sakura's raising on him. He'd taken to it so naturally; even before Nadeshiko had gone he'd begun sliding into the role. He'd always been there to lend a hand whenever he was needed, so naturally, so many people came to his service to pay their respects.   
  
He still couldn't believe this was happening. He'd never dreamt that one day he'd be at his son's funeral, it didn't seem real. All of this, the service, the quiet mournful people that milled about saying little meaningless things like "It was so sudden" and "he was so young": it seemed like a long nightmare that he hadn't figured out how to wake up from. He looked up to see non-other than Sonomi and her grandfather. In the chaos and pain, he'd totally forgotten that he would no doubt make a showing, as he had been trying to rebuild those old, burnt bridges. Too bad he hadn't decided to do that when he had the chance to meet Touya. "You came," he said, coming over to them. "I would have called you to tell you, but in all of this…" The older man shook his head and lightly patted Fujitaka's shoulder.   
  
"I understand. I know how painful it is to loose a child. It must be so much worse not having any help. If you need anything at all, just ask."   
  
Nodding, he thanked him but added, "I'm not totally alone in this: Sakura has been unbelievable, she made breakfast today and has taken on a lot of extra chores, and I have Yukito san. He's been a wreck acutally, but somehow just having him in the house is a comfort. I'm lucky I have them both through all of this, I don't know what I would have done without them." He looked over to the one sofa on the far side of the room, where Sakura was sitting with Yukito san, Tomoyo gingerly joining them. They smiled weakly to her and slid over to make room.   
  
"Yes," the older man began. "Sonomi told me that Touya's one friend was living with you. He must have been very close to him."   
  
"Lover," Fujitaka corrected.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Yukito san was Touya's lover. They were inseparable since they met; I think it was three years ago. He was Touya's life and he has no relatives by blood so of course I brought him home. He's family." He explained simply, not having the will to care what the man thought.   
  
"Oh…"  
  
"It's a shame you never got to meet Touya, I'm sure he would have wanted to see you"   
  
"Actually," he began, the previous shock all but gone; "He did see me, once." It was Fujitaka's turn to be surprised this time. "At Nadeshiko's funeral. You didn't see me, but I showed up at the very end, you were all near the casket, you were holding Sakura and he was standing beside you. I was clear across the room and he'd never seen before in his life, but somehow as soon as I entered the room, his head snapped around to stare at me." He shook his head. "I don't think he appreciated me being there, and I quickly left. He had his mother's sight I assume." Fujitaka nodded and the man began to head over to where Yukito was sitting, Sakura and Tomoyo had left, heading out into the garden.   
  
From his spot, he watched the grandfather greet Yukito and give his condolences, and he could clearly make out Yukito's thanks. They talked fro a few moments and he left after lightly patting Yukito's head. After he left, Fujitaka walked over and took the seat next to him, wrapping an arm around his narrow shoulders.   
  


***

  
  
The clear water swirled around the confines of the glass, spiraling about as it climbed the sides till the faucet was turned off. The liquid slowly ceased its dance and came to rest stilly, only moving with the slight movements of Fujitaka's hand. The water shifted to one side as its carrier began to head from the kitchen and out into the living room. "Here," he said, handing Yukito the glass and sitting down beside him.   
  
"Thank you." As he took the cool drink, Fujitaka laid a damp towel behind his neck.   
  
He'd come home to find Yukito crying in the laundry room; apparently somehow one of Touya's shirts had fallen to the bottom of the hamper. Yukito had found it when doing laundry today, over a week after the service, and it had just brought everything back. Though, as bad as he was now, it was still huge improvement over what he had been like two weeks ago. As he wiped his eyes, laying his glasses aside, Fujitaka hazarded a chance. "Yukito, can I ask you a question?"   
  
"Yes, of course."   
  
"You and Touya…" he paused for a moment, unsure of how to ask this. "Touya was a private person, his personal life was his and he never really let me into it. I never spited him that, it was just who he was; I think you're the only one he ever really let in… You meant the world to him, anyone with eyes could see that," Yukito blushed a bit and stared at his glass. "I just… I was never sure when the two of you became a couple. Every time I was sure you two were, something would be said or such to make me think otherwise. I was just wondering how long the two of you were together, instead of just friends…" his voice trailed off as he saw the tears return to Yukito's eyes and he quickly reached for the tissues. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked-,".  
  
"That night," Yukito's shaking voice said over his apologies.   
  
"What?"   
  
"The night before he was killed… was the first time we were together. We were both too afraid that the other wouldn't want us so we didn't say anything. We only had that night. We…" Anything else he might have said was lost in his tears and Fujitaka wrapped him up again, feeling tears of his own stinging his eyes. Somehow, even with all the pain of loosing him, this bit of news made all the more tragic. All of those years he'd been with Yukito, clearly in love with him, he'd said nothing; they'd been apart all that time.   
  
Once, when Touya had been younger he'd noticed how slow Touya moved to act on things, taking forever to decide anything, always waiting to make a move. He'd spent a year deciding to join the soccer team, tomorrow always seemed like a better day to make his choice and talk to the coach. It wasn't that he was fearful, just unsure. Fujitaka had joked that if ever met a girl he liked he'd probably wait till he was ninety to propose to her, and probably die the next day. It was chilling how close his joke had been and he drew Yukito closer, not only mourning the time he'd lost, but now the time that he'd wasted.   
  
Yukito reached up to clutch at Fujitaka's shirt in his sobs and let the glass fall. Neither of them paid it any heed as it rolled across the floor and its contents as well, sliding across the wood floor, frozen solid.   
  
  



	17. Looking Glass

  
  
Like always, I thank my reviewers, Katarina, Larania Drake, ForestGlenny, Maze-chan, noone, Kou-Kagerou, butterflydreaming, Elihice, Konnie-chan, Ciu Sune, Esme, Laurus Nobilis, Usagi-1313, and as ever Tam Chronin.   
  
As I've recieved the largest review I think I've ever seen, I guess I should say something. First off, you make me blush with your flattery (not saying stop though). Secondly, no, I am not one of those writters who kill off characters for giggles, I did have the truck planned out since the first chapter. My writing is nothing if not diliberate and planned (perhaps too well planned but *shrugs* sometimes it works), and yes, I promise it was nessasary; I woulnd't have done it otherwise. As for the death-fic warning... for one that would have revealed my plot and I coulnd't do that (better to simply not write it than that), and secondly to label it a "death fic" would mean that the plot was nothing but the death and the ramifications there of, which it wasn't. The many chapters before the truck have nothing to do with that and move on another track entirely.  
  
As for the ice and everything else, I hope you didn't think I'd reveal the plot in this note? :)  
  
And To Esme, so sorry for your rep, but unfortuntely I have one to keep for myself. (Maybe read my stuff at home?) lol  
  
PS- Still waiting on my fanart... :)  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


17

  
  
The full moon cast its pale light over the back yard. The thin layer of snow added its own light and the bare bushes and trees were lit in a pure white light. In the coverless night, a small rabbit hopped quickly across the yard and beneath the fence when Fujitaka opened the door. "Yukito?" He turned to see the boy sitting on the bench swing in his pajamas, his bare feet drawn up under himself, a bag of cookies to his right, and Touya's shirt draped over his lap, affectionately held in his one hand. "Its cold out, you should at least have socks and slippers on, if not a coat."   
  
"That's okay. I'm not cold." He scooted over to make room for him. "I couldn't sleep... It's pretty tonight." Fujitaka nodded and took the seat next to him, his breath showing in white puffs.   
  
"It's odd, you know. He's been gone a month now, and it still hurts just as much. I just think I've run out of tears. You'd think it would have faded, if only a little. But it hasn't." He drew up the shirt to rub his cheek against it. "He was everything I had, and I'll never see him again." Fujitaka started to say something, but Yukito stopped him. "I won't. He's gone and I'll always be here. I won't grow old and die, I'll just… stay here… forever. I know he said that even I would die someday, but… when? In a couple centuries? Ten? A thousand? How long will I just linger here? It just hurts so much…" tears began to fall again and he released the shirt from one hand to wipe them away, but he found himself grasping at air when he tried to remove his glasses. Confused, he patted over his eyes finding them missing and looked around him for them.   
  
"You left them behind again," he said, handing Yukito a tissue.   
  
He blinked as he accepted it. "Oh. I don't know how I keep doing that, but I guess I don't really need them, Yue doesn't wear them at all." He paused and looked up at the moon and then over across the yard. "I remember planting that tree," he started, looking at a small weeping cherry pitifully bare in the snow. "He dug the hole too shallow at first, then too deep so he had to pour the dirt back in. Of course he put too much back in and it was too shallow again, but the next time he got it right," light smile graced Yuki's pale features. "But then we realized we'd forgotten to put the feeding pellets in before filling in the hole. He just stared at the ground like it was its fault and sighed." Yuki began to laugh covering his face with the shirt for a moment; Fujitaka had to join him. He could picture Touya staring at the tree too vividly, arms crossed with that flat expression. "So we of course had to dig it all out and do it all over again. I snickered at him, asking if he thought he had it this time. He sprayed me with the hose for that one; he got me so bad my shoes were squishing all day long." Any previous withheld laugher escaped them and Fujitaka laughed so hard his side hurt.   
  
Eventually the laugher died down and they wiped their eyes. "I miss him," Yukito said quietly, looking back to the tree and then to the shirt. "I don't want there to be no more memories, no more jokes. I don't want to never see him get that straight face when he has to do something he doesn't want to, or hear him tease me about how many cookies I can eat… I don't want it to be over…" Fujitaka nodded and grasped Yuki's small hands, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.   
  
"I know."   
  


***

  
  
The days were getting shorter all the time, the snow was settling thicker, and the salt on the doorstep was a set thing. Fujitaka was off this lazy Sunday and finally decided it was time to take a break from his study. Touya had been gone for nearly two months and life had settled into some form of normalcy, though he was beginning to doubt Yukito would ever return to normal. Lately it seemed like he was only getting worse, instead of better.   
  
As he walked upstairs, he rounded the corner into the living room and saw Yuki standing at the window, staring into space. His glasses were off, that was normally a sign that he was feeling off. "Yukito?" he asked, but got no answer. "Yukito?" he repeated himself, walking closer. "Yukito, are you alright?" When he laid his hand on his shoulder Yukito turned to look at him, as if woken from a daze.   
  
"Fujitaka?" he blinked and wiped at his eyes. "I…" he struggled for a moment before continuing. "I don't feel well. I don't understand… I feel… I don't know." He reached out and brushed the glass before him, Fujitaka only now seeing he wasn't looking out the window, but rather at his own reflection.   
  
He shook his head and looked back up at him, as if seeing him for the first time. "You really do look like him, though it's your voice that's where the similarity really is…" his voice trailed off, sounding very odd, but it didn't last long before he dropped his head into his hands. "And why do I know that? I shouldn't. Either that or I shouldn't look like this. I don't know those things when I look like this." He looked so confused and he started looking around him, like someone not yet fully woken. "And where are my glasses? Why don't I have them? I don't know why I keep forgetting them... Keroberous…, he must have taken them." He stepped past Fujitaka and he just let him go; he'd never seen Yukito this bad. "He's always hiding my things."  
  
"He's at Daidoji san's house, with Sakura."   
  
Yukito stopped and looked back to him, "Sakura?" he seemed utterly lost for a moment and then realization passed over his face. "Oh… right. Of course he is. Why did I say that?" he rubbed his eyes again and began to wring his hands. "What's happening?"   
  
Fujitaka came forward and grasped his shoulders. "It's alright, Yukito. Calm down, everything's going to be fine." But Yukito shoved him away.   
  
"No, no, no… What did you call me? No, that's not right, is it?" he looked back to the window and saw himself and continued to shake his head. "No, no I can remember Clow, I can feel those memories… Loosing him…" he dropped to his knees and Fujitaka got his first look at Yukito's transformation. In a flash of light, Yue was kneeling on the floor, though Fujitaka already had a good idea what was going on. "Oh, please, I can't… I just can't… He just left. He didn't even say goodbye; he just left…" He curled in on himself, sobbing into his knees. "I can't do this again. I already lost Clow, I can't loose To-ya; I can't be alone again… please." Fujitaka knelt down and held the heart broken creature. "How can it hurt so much? I lost Clow, how can this hurt more? I can't loose him. Please, I need him… I barely had him; we didn't have any time together." He buried his head into Fujitaka's chest and cried. "To-ya…"  
  


***

  
  
He'd carried Yukito upstairs and put him into bed after he'd collapsed in his arms. The poor thing was simply falling apart and Fujitaka didn't know what to do. Luckily, Sakura was spending the week at Tomoyo's. A package had arrived Thursday and she suddenly had to spend the week at Tomoyo's. The sheer oddness of the request would have made him question but the way things were getting with Yukito, he thought it was better if she stayed somewhere else. He sat at Touya's old desk and watched the sleeping creature.   
  
When Yukito had come to live with them, he'd of course stayed in Touya's room. At first he'd been afraid that it would be too painful for him to be there, with all the memories, but instead it seemed to comfort him and the last thing Yukito said he wanted to do was to forget Touya. He'd changed little in the room, though he'd been quick to throw out any and all textbooks. Besides that though, the room was almost exactly like he'd left it. A soft cry from the bed drew Fujitaka's attention from his musings.   
  
Yukito was still asleep, but it was a fitful sleep; he tossed and muttered sporadically. He seemed to be caught in half memories and nightmares. "… where… no… please, Clow… I don't… Kero come… tle girl? No… no, I can't… To-ya…?" Fujitaka drew his chair closer as he started to cry in his sleep. "…To-ya…? Where are you? To-ya…? …'s cold… please, To-ya… To-ya…?" Tenderly he shook him.   
  
"Yukito? You're having a nightmare."   
  
He started and sat up, drawing the covers up. "To-ya?" He looked around himself quickly, but slowed as he found the bed empty, his porcelain face falling. Dropping his head into his delicate hands, he sobbed quietly, Yukito's long white hair falling around him to conceal him partially from sight. He showed no notice of Fujitaka even when he moved to sit beside him on the bed and held him, rocking him slightly.   
  
"I know… I know."   
  
"I miss him so much. I wish I could say I feel empty, that was better then this. I can't feel this, I just can't. Why can't I just go to sleep, why do I just keep hurting? I just want it to stop… please…" He clutched at Fujitaka's shirt and pleaded like a small child begging him to make the thunder go away.   
  
"The way you made it stop before? Forget the pain behind a new face?"   
  
"Yes, yes! Please, just let it go away."   
  
"Forget everything? Touya? All your happy memories with him? Forget planting the tree, washing dishes, everything?" Yukito's conviction wavered and then crumbled and the tears started to fall anew.   
  
"No. No, I don't." He pulled back and sat with his hands drawn up to his chest. "I can't just forget him. I won't. He... He was everything. He was so good and kind… I can't let go of those memories, it just… hurts… knowing there won't be anymore." He shook his head, tendrils of white swaying gently, and looked over to the nightstand and the glasses that sat there. Slowly he reached out and picked them up, turning them over lightly.   
  
He stared at them for a long while, running his fingers along them. "They reminded me of him, I guess. They were a way to hold on to him a little longer, if only a little piece." He brushed his fingers across the frames and then the glass before setting them back down, looking back up to Fujitaka. "I feel a little silly… but I don't remember deciding to do any of it, it just happened…" he clasped his hands in his lap and sat very still, eyes half closed in thought. "I remember him sealing me in the book and… something pulled me. Next thing I knew I was standing on a train station, but I wasn't me, and I didn't know… anything. I…" he shook his head. "I don't know. It's fuzzy…, but I remember him."  
  
"I was so lost, trying to figure out where I was, what was going on, and at the same time, in that haze while all the illusions settled into place with all those people everywhere and the lights and the cars rushing past. I felt like I was drowning and then there he was. He took me out of all that and took care of me, carefully taking me 'home', even though he knew I wasn't human and it wasn't real. It didn't matter to him." He wiped his eyes and smiled.   
  
Fujitaka jumped as Yukito suddenly jumped forward and wrapped him up in a hug. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. For taking care of me through all of this, for being so kind; you've treated me like family since the first day I came here. And most importantly, thank you for giving me Touya, even if I only had him for a little while. I don't know where I'd be if not for him." He hugged him tighter and then released, looking up at him with a truer smile than he'd seen since the accident. "No, I do know where I'd be, cold and numb and empty." He reached up and hugged him again drawing back a bit to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you. Thank you so much."   
  
  



	18. Arrow

  
  
As ever I need to thank all the good people who review my stuff: Maze-chan, noone, butterflydreaming, Konnie-chan, Elihice, and always TamChronin.  
  
I seem to have lost a lot of you with the last chapter. I'm not sure exactly what I could have done diferently but, *shrugs*. I consisdered rewriting sections, or sticking in a mini chapter between this one and the last, but I really couldn't think of how to do it without going out of character. The chapter was Yuki and Yue merging, hence Yuki wandering around without his glasses, staring at his reflection, remembering Clow (in the chapter before last he said "he said even I'd die one day" and that something that Clow said to Yue, Yuki wans't there for that), and then at the end shifting to his true form and talking about having glasses.  
  
Sorry for loosing people with that one, and on to the next.  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


18

  
  
Sakura blinked and rubbed at her eyes. She could feel something going on with Yukito, but she pushed past it. Her dad was with him and it felt like it was passing anyway. She did her best to snuff out her worry and focus instead on the book in front of her. Out of nowhere a cup slid into view. "Huh?"   
  
"I thought you could use a drink; you've been at this all night, again." Kero fluttered near the cup and pushed it forward a bit.   
  
"Thanks, Kero chan," she said, patting him on the head. He took the empty cup away, heading out the door. Turning to watch him go she looked over Tomoyo, curled up asleep on the sofa. She'd stayed up most of the time with her these last few days, but it seemed that Tomo chan had finally hit her limit. Shaking her head, Sakura willed herself awake, turning to the next page.  
  


***

  
  
"Oh, Sakura," her father called when she'd gotten home that past Thursday. "Something came for you in the mail. A package; it's on the table." She'd been confused, she couldn't think what it could be but she'd been having some odd dreams of late so she rushed over to get it. Running up the stairs, she began to tear through the brown wrapper.   
  
It was postmarked England, that meant it was either Eriol or Mistuki sensei. When the accident had happened she'd called them and left a message; she figured they already knew, but still… she'd wanted to talk to a friend if nothing else. Unfortunately, though, they'd never called her back. She'd called so many times but always got the answering machine and never got a reply. Needless to say, she was more than a little mad at them. She hoped this package would finally give a reason, she didn't want to believe her friends had just abandoned her and didn't care that Touya was gone.   
  
As she closed the door behind her, she had removed all the paper to reveal a book: old, well-worn, leather, but just a book. She opened it upside down to see if a note was inside, but nothing. Dropping onto her bed, she began to flip through the pages, glancing over it. "What do you have?"   
  
She looked up to see Kero flying in through the door. "A book, from Eriol… or Mitsuki sensei."  
  
"A book? What kind of book?"   
  
"I don't know," she flipped through it quickly, scanning over the pages. "Looks like some kind of a note book, or a sketchbook…" she looked down at it puzzled, tipping it to one side. "I can't make much out; its in English.  
  
"Boy, they've got some nerve. They're just too busy to even call you through all of this, and now, two months later, they send you a dumb gift like a old, moldy notebook that you can't even read. I've got half a mind to- Hey!" he shouted, hovering in front of her looking at the open book. "I know that book, it was Clow's. He used to write in it all the time, never let us see it. Move over," he said, hovering beside her head.   
  
She made a face, and turned the book back to the beginning. "It's full of drawings of you and Yue, see?" She stopped on one page that was full off pencil sketches of Kero's face with various muzzles; the next page was of his paws.   
  
"It's a book dedicated to ME!" he cried out joyfully and yanked the book out of her hands, flying about with it. "Look, it even has all the magical theorems he used to summon me. A whole page just of my eyes!" Any attempts by Sakura to retrieve the book was a lost cause. "Wait a second, what do you mean 'Think Fluffy"?!" He huffed and turned the page about his lesser form. "'Fluffy' indeed. I'm not fluffy, I'm dashing, awe inspiring, even…" he muttered, continuing through the book. "humph, Yue… Yue… Yue… Argh!" he dropped the book back down. "The rest of it's just Yue. Bleck!" He made a face and went to go back to his video game. "I still think it's a shitty gift, even if it is a book _half_ about me. Now if it was _all_ me…" he muttered entranced by the beeps and repetitive music.   
  
She picked the book up with a sigh and sat back down.   
  


***

  
  
The book was exactly what Kero said it was for the most part. She flipped through, picking out words here and there. It was a step-by-step walk-through of how Clow created Kero chan and Yue and Yuki. The section on Yuki even went over the forgetfulness, though he didn't have any glasses in any sketches, oddly enough. It was getting later in the day and Tomo chan was going to be there any moment, so she was about to close the book when notes and diagrams took over again when just previous the pages had been nothing but beautifully rendered sketches of Yue and Kero playing, sleeping, just going about life. It was touching but the snippets she could understand on _these_ pages were decidedly different. Words like "death", "mistake", and "spell collapse". Her chest suddenly felt very tight; all the notes were about Yue.   
  
She went to show the pages to Kero, to have him translate, but he had fallen asleep. Waking him sounded good, but what if this was something bad. She shouldn't wake him for that. She was still staring at what she thought was "spell collapse", when she heard the doorbell. Tomoyo! She spoke English great! Clutching the book to her chest she ran down the stairs.   
  


***

  
  
"It's talking about the problem Yue had with his energy, see? Here it says _'My original assumption that Sakura would be powerful enough to sustain him has been proven fatally erroneous. This oversight will leave him without anything to sustain him and the energy drain will unavoidably lead to spell structure collapse. Yue is going to flicker away; die sick and weak and helpless… and all because I didn't see the visions right.'_ He goes on to go over some technical stuff…" she shook her head and flipped through a few pages. "Then he starts talking about switching his plans, staying till he can fix it, or longer. _'I've gone over and over the theorems everyway I can and I keep coming up with the same thing: he'll never survive till she's powerful enough, no matter what measures I take now. Any objects I imbue will be too limited and no spell I cast will remain after the division. I have no other choice. I'm remise to resort to this, truly… but I am going to have to close all my preparations for the split. To go forward with them would be no different than take a knife to his throat.'   
  
'I'll have to stay like this; there's nothing more to be done. Fitting really, once you look at it. All of this began because I made a mistake, so why not let it end over a mistake'"_   
She sighed and turned to the next page.   
  
"Wow… He sounds so sad." Sakura leaned over the book, trying to pick out what words she could. "So then he figured out how to make the bell he left for Ms. Mitsuki?"   
  
She scanned over this page. "I guess so, though not for a while. The next section is dated almost two years later."   
  
"Two years?"   
  
"Yeah, and the writing's kind hard to read, it's really sloppy, rushed. Here: _'How could I have missed it? The answer was right under my nose all along, or rather my feet. Yue's protection is easily solved. Well not easily, the spell will be well beyond the creation of either Kero or Yue, the initiator will take a function not only set to time, but position. As far as I can find, no one has ever attempted, or at least succeeded in anything like this. Unlike with Kero and Yue, I will be truly on my own in this design, but after the cards I just might be able to make it work. This will make the…'_" she paused looking at the page confused. "_'This will make the **Bell** for the Tsukimine shrine look like a brass trinket.'_" she lifted her head and looked at Sakura as if for some sort of clue. "_ 'A delayed spell, that once cast will cut through time, and activate at the right point. Not relying on the correct metal alloys or engravings, independent of the sun or the moon. I'll instead use the earth itself as the basis and as such the vessal will be organic and it will wait poised until the time hits and the string is loosed. Cutting through time to strike its mark, I will build a living arrow to find Yue.'_" She turned the page and there was similar section title page as there was at the front of Kero's section and Yue's, only on this one simply said "Arrow."   
  


***

  
  
She'd been at Tomoyo's home since that evening. Luckily her father didn't argue; she couldn't be examining this at home, where her father or Yukito could see what she was doing.   
  
The last bit of the book contained the same mix of spell mechanics and sketches, though this time it was Touya's face that filled pages and his personality being meticulously laid out. _"He will have to be a protector, to give so selflessly. I will not ingrain the reflex in him, as the sacrifice will be great and should be his own choice. His instinct to protect makes a female gender seem more sensible, but a male form will make him more physically able. I doubt it will be necessary, but still…   
"If he grows up to be anything like my visions say, I think he and Yue like each other fine. In fact I think his quiet patience will let him get along with Yue very well. I hope they become friends, I have a feeling Yue will need one around then."_ Touya was Clow's last guardian.   
  
As interesting as this fact was and as much as she loved to see her brother, if only on paper, there was more to this. At the beginning of the book, when Clow was first laying out the design for the other two guardians he laid out the mechanics to "recall" one, if for any reason they were killed. The procedure was twice as involved as the original summons. It required everything the first casting did, plus something to draw the soul of the lost guardian into the new body instead of bring a new one to the form. Ninety percent of the magic users of the world couldn't manage to summon a guardian once, and only Clow had ever even laid out how to recall one. But the difficulty didn't end there.   
  
Touya wasn't a normal guardian, he wasn't built of pure magic; there had been flesh and blood involved. Sakura couldn't simply redo the spell that Clow had laid out; it was amuck with trigger sets, sections of every verse that assured that Touya wouldn't be born before certain factors were in place. If she simply cast the spell she would only be drawing the bow again only to have it never loose, as the triggers wouldn't occur once more. The only way to use the Recall spell on Touya would be to rework the spell that created him to make a body the way that Yue's and Kero's, but if she missed even one syllable that was a trigger the spell would fail and Touya might be trapped in a limbo forever. Worse yet, it was evident that Eriol intended her to do it alone.   
  
Well, without him, but not alone exactly. She had Kero proof-reading dawn till dusk and Syaoran was on the phone with them nonstop, along with his mother every so often. Luckily the older mage had caught a few mistakes that could have proven deadly. Tomoyo was an unbelievable help, too. Completely missing any magical gifts as she was, she was the one answering the phone twelve thousand times a day, she was the one bringing them all food and making sure they stopped to eat it. She also handled any materials they needed which, by the look of it, wouldn't be much, though what they did need could get odd. Mostly she was handling the shipping from Syaoran and his mother's contacts.   
  
The danger of the spell wasn't lost on her. She had doubts constantly about what she was doing. A flaw wouldn't be a slight problem or even a serious one on her; it could cause a very, very permanent erasure for Touya. Doubts were a day-to-day thing these days, but every time she felt Yukito come apart, remembered hearing him crying through the wall, her resolve was hardened.   
  
They'd been robbed of their time, and if this worked they'd both be immortal, or as close as you could get. They wouldn't have to say goodbye until they'd spent a full life together; they both deserved that.   
  


***

  
  
The night wind twisted around her, sending flurries of snow spiraling around her feet. She tightened her grip on her staff through her heavy gloves and drew her thick cloak around her. The moon above her was full and bright, shining down on the snow-laden field. The snow crunched beneath her feet as she shifted her feet within the circle she has drawn in the snow and her breath showed bright white as she asked Kero, "All right, give me the book." Her voice sounded tight and as he handed her the book and she was so tense she was surprised she didn't drop it. In her nervousness she fumbled at the clasp for a moment before releasing the cards.  
  
Once released they circled her in a slow steady rate and she asked Kero, "Give me the incant." He carefully handed it to her and she tried to ignore the tremor in her hand. With it held carefully in her right hand, the book clutched to herself in her left, she took a deep breath and addressed the cards again. "Split." They did that, reshuffling themselves to divide by if they were beneath Kero or Yue. This done, they split again into three tiers: the first only had Light and Dark hovering right before her, below them floated the element cards, and finally the other cards reformed a ring around her. As they settled into place she could feel their own tension join hers and she swallowed hard. Time to start.  
  
The spell rung out far clearer and more confidently than she felt and she recited mostly from memory. Words for word she repeated the carefully laid out casting, making the circle light up around her feet, activated and more substantial than the pure magic one that formed naturally. The magic welled up and poured from her with every syllable, laying across the dark field like a heavy fog, so heavy the world beyond the snowy enclosure seemed to wink out of existence entirely, leaving only the spell and the three people that stood amongst it in the cold.   
  
Tomoyo as ever was there, camera in hand, not so much for her own tapes, but if… _when_ this worked surely both Touya and Yukito would want to see it. Kero sat beside her in his true form, flexing his paws nervously. Sakura was so set in her trance she was barely aware of their presence and lost herself in the rhythm of the incantations, but somehow she was suddenly aware of something moving towards her. Yue. It was Yue, heading towards her... fast. She couldn't stop her spell to warn Kero or tell him to intercept his brother, so she had to simply pray that Yue wouldn't disturb the spell.   
  
"What's going on? What is she casting!? Kero stop hushing me! What is going-*hmph*!" Yue had barely landed when his ranting started but Kero eventually gave up and tackled him, covering his mouth with one great paw.   
  
"Quiet! She can't be interrupted or things will be very, very, **very** bad!" he said in a hushed whisper.   
  
"He's right, Yue san. This is very delicate," explained Tomoyo quietly, pulling Kero away. "You have to be quiet, please…"  
  
Yue's mouth moved without sound as he pulled himself up, staring at the spot where the magic was collecting. "But… what is she doing? I…" It was at this point that the two onlookers saw the tears in Yue's eyes and saw the icy expression was completely absent. "I can feel… It feels like… To-ya… What's happening…?" but he was shushed again and he was forced to sit in the snow and stare apprehensively at the converging energy, listening to the incantations.   
  
The spell reached a higher pitch and the pull of the energy was palatable to even Tomoyo and where everything was gathering the ground had begun to shift and crack. Sakura shoved away any and all recognition of Yue's fear from her and raised her voice as the spell reached a new section. The ground continued to shake and began to buckle, and suddenly sent a spiraling cone of earth and stone upwards about twelve feet from the ground. The ice and snow melted from the formation and suddenly vines burst from it, wrapping around it tightly till all but the sharpest protrusions of rock showed through the deep green leaves. As she started into a new verse the leaves themselves began to glow brightly and before her the cards began to shift again.   
  
Yue and Kero moaned softy and bent their heads down as a third of the bottom tier of cards shifted from the others and gathered in their own section to the front and above them Earthy and Wood separated as well, making three sections in both levels. Just as it looked like the cards has settled Sakura's fast, rhythmic chant caused the top most tier to shift as well, the Dark and Light separated leaving a gap between them. Below, in the bottom level the card in the middle of this new group shifted up to take the open spot on the top. Libra flashed an instant and settled easily into its new spot.   
  
Done with their adjustments the cards locked into their positions and the ground began to shake anew, and more violently than before. The glow of the leaves was blinding and bursts of light showed through the cracks in the rock, cracks that were growing wider by the second. Sakura called out the last verse of the spell and the rock drew in on itself for a second before shattering outwards in a burst of light only less intense than the sound that followed it. The shards flew out past her in a wash as the world went black.   
  
  



	19. Bound

  
  
Well, here we go, the end, the last chapter... *sniffles* *does touchdown dance* :-D No matter how much you like a story it's always wonderful to finally finish it. My efforts are happily redirected to my original works. I'm all geeked from finishing this and hopefully I will finally finish the fantasy work I've been working on for the last 6 years. *shakes head* Course before I can go back to that I have to finish the world building I'm doing on the role playing site I run, . I designed the Lorn enviroment there; we're gonna put a large update to that very shortly if anyone is curious. I have a less spiffy version on my own web page . There's something else on that site for this fic (but only if you're over 18). My parents raised me so I really don't get how parents now expect me to raise their kids. I think its their job but maybe thats just me. The last thing I want is to get bitched at by your parents because I'm not doing their job for them.  
  
Stay tuned after this fic for my conclusion notes (since ff.net won't let me post it in its own section anymore).  
  
And a final thanks to my reviewers, Ciu Sune, Maze-chan, Elihice, Konnie-chan, Violintide, as ever Tam Chronin, and Silent seraphim (who reviewed twice but who am I to complain).  
  
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.   
  
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?   
  
  


19

  
  
Touya had feared, especially in his youth, becoming one of those confused ghosts who didn't understand who, where, or even when they were. He'd seen some truly sad stories: women wandering the streets calling for a child that had long since grown up and moved away, children sobbing on street corners for mothers that could no longer hear them, fathers walking the streets never able to find their way home; becoming that was his worst fear. Lately though, he was thinking that was only because he didn't know how bad things could go on this side.   
  
He wasn't confused at least, he knew he was dead, he remembered seeing the truck perfectly; he just wasn't sure where he was. The way things looked on tv when people died, the fade to black or tunnel of light hadn't happened. Instead, the world had just faded away into a gray haze that swallowed all of his remaining senses, a gray that hadn't left yet. It was similar to what it had been like at the play.   
  
The gray swallowed everything, including time. It was impossible to guess how long he'd been in this gray void. Nothingness was all-expansive, a wasteland surrounded him, devoid of senses nearly entirely. If he held his hand directly in front of his eyes, he could make out the outline of it and if he yelled at the top of his lungs he could detect some sort of sound. Even the feel of touch was numbed beyond notice. Touya wasn't prone to giving up, but he was nearing that line quickly.   
  
Hope of being rescued by his mother had been swallowed by the gray long ago. A few times he'd heard her slightly, felt someone grasp him, but that was eons ago and he had no fantasies of being found by her again. Wherever he was, it was apparently out of her reach… and very permanent. His memories and regrets were his only companions in this place, though it seemed the gray was seeping into those too.   
  
He clung to his memories of Yuki, Sakura, his father, and mother, but slowly he was loosing bits and pieces of those memories… He couldn't remember his mother's eye color anymore, or what Sakura had gotten for him last Christmas…, or what Yuki smelled like. He was loosing everything, inch by inch, and he couldn't stop it.   
  
He sat in that gray, curled over himself, reciting his memories over and over again, fearful of loosing even a fragment, but knowing he'd loose it all eventually. Whispering without sound, he felt something odd. Anything at that point was odd, but this wasn't a pull like his mother had found him again, instead it was from inside.   
  
Whether this pull lead to safety or to something worse, he didn't know but it was a risk he was willing to take. Reaching inside himself, he grasped the force pulling him and held on as tightly as his numbed hands could. It was now, and only now that he saw the flash of light that everyone talked about, but of course it was followed by a disappointing blackness.   
  


***

  
The black opened up to feeling first, beautiful, savored, though odd feeling. The softness around him was eventually recognized as a bed. He tentatively shifted, stretching to feel the cool cloth against his skin, but his body complained and just felt wrong, though he couldn't tell why. The next thing that filtered through was the sounds of the world: birds, cars driving past, someone moving around down stairs. Reflexively he reached out to see who it was, like someone flexing a leg that had been amputated, but surprisingly he could feel quite clearly that it was his father. With that the switch was thrown and he was bombarded by information, sensing everything around him stretching out for blocks. He moaned under the strain and tried to rein it in to something manageable when he heard a voice. "To-ya? Are you awake?" Yuki… he knew that voice, it was Yuki's. "Are you awake?" His voice sounded small as he came closer; Touya could feel him touch his arm.   
  
"Yu… ki…?" he asked slowly, trying to open his eyes but failing miserably.   
  
"Yes! Yes it's me. Are you okay? How do you feel?"   
  
A slight smile crossed his features, the best he could make. "Like I was hit by a truck." Somehow he actually got a light chuckle out.  
  
Yuki's silence told Touya that he found it less than funny. "… yeah, I guess so…. Do you… need anything?"  
  
"Maybe for you to laugh at my bad jokes in poor taste." That earned him a giggle, though not as intense as he wanted to hear.   
  
"Alright, deal. Do you want something to eat, or a drink?"   
  
"No, no. I'm good, though I feel a bit odd." He stretched again but though the complaints were less, the weirdness was still very present. His eyes also still refused to open, but he was getting his other sense under control so he could 'see' Yuki fine. "So… What happened? I was sure I was dead; I remember the truck, but now I'm here… Did I miss something?" Again he shifted, thinking about getting up sometime in the next fifteen years, but something felt extremely wrong and he couldn't place it. It was starting to bother him a lot, but he was patient and waited to hear why exactly he was back home in his own bed, when he'd been really sure he was very dead.  
  
"You _were_ dead…" he started quietly. "The truck…" his warm voice began to crack and he grasped Touya's hand, laying his cheek against it. "You were really gone." Touya squeezed his hand as tightly as he could, and waited for Yuki to be able to continue. Lifting his head Yuki began to brush Touya's hair back. "Sakura, she found a way to bring you back. It was hard, and dangerous, but it worked." He dipped his head down and kissed Touya lightly on the cheek.   
  
"So, I got hit by a truck, died, and then got resurrected… and all I get is a peck on the cheek?" His eyes might not be cooperating but he got a smirk on his face just fine. Yuki laughed, wiping away the tears that were forming.   
  
"My deepest apologies." He bent down and caught Touya's lips in his own and it was enough incentive to him to will up the strength to not only lean up into it, but to reach up with a hand to grasp him. He would have used the other arm but for some reason he was on his side even though he hated sleeping on his side and something was in his way to roll over and get comfortable.   
  
Touya deepened the kiss regardless of how uncomfortable the position was, this was worth a sore neck. Re-memorizing the taste of his lover, he ran his fingers up through his baby fine hair, barely short of crying himself. Eventually they parted for air and Touya began to inch his eyes open, needing to see Yuki with his eyes. "Ungh…" he moaned at the blinding light around him.   
  
"To-ya?!" Yuki leaned over him. "Are you alright?" Slowly the world lowed its intensity to something manageable and he was greeted to the gorgeous sight of Yuki's great amber eyes and pale, delicate skin. He reached up to brush his lips, washed with the same faint blush of pink.   
  
"Very alright," he said with a smile that softened away the worry creasing Yuki's face. Again he felt Yuki's soft lips and as they parted he ran a hand along the side of Yuki's face. "I love you so much. I thought I'd never see you again."   
  
"I love you, too." He wiped away his tears again and stood up from his seat on the bed. "Here," he turned and headed to his desk. "I've got a glass of water and I'm sure you're thirsty." As he darted over to it, Touya managed to sit up. Feeling very off balance he almost gave up on the idea and fell back onto the bed, when he saw his reflection on his door mirror.   
  
"Yuki…?"   
  
The face that met him was his and at the same time wasn't. The features were basically the same, though his skin was a bit darker, like it was in the summer, though it was late fall (make that winter, he thought seeing the snowy outside in the reflection as well). Also different was his hair; it was now a very dark green and his eyes had streaks of green in them. But the oddest addition was the apparent source of the "weird feeling" and his lack of balance; behind his shoulders sat a pair of large, dark green, feathered… wings? Experimentally he stretched one, learning how to move it clumsily. "How _did_ Sakura bring me back'?"   
  
"Umm…" he stepped back over and sat back down on the bed. "She Recalled you, using a variation of the spell that… created you the first time." At Touya's confusion, Yuki continued, obviously worried about his reaction. "You _were_ born, but… Clow discovered the problem about my energy running out, so he made you with a spell that was supposed to put you in a human body… It was complex; the spell stayed dormant all that time, waiting till the right circumstances happened, so you'd be born when you were supposed to be. Eriol sent us Clow's old notebook, it was the only way we found out. Clow supplied you with plenty of power to save me, but I looked at the spell and she's right, Sakura's right, he made you for that reason, but it was still your choice. He was very careful to make sure you still had the choice.  
  
"When she Recalled you, she had to change the spell to give you a form like us; she didn't plan the wings, they were an aftereffect, I guess. We're all pretty sure that you have a false form that you can switch to that hopefully will look like your original body. She tried to bring you back as close as you were before, but…" Touya stretched out the wings a bit and broke into Yuki's ramblings.   
  
"So,… I was made for you… literally?" he asked with a smile. Yuki blushed and nodded as Touya drew him into a kiss, wrapping his arms around his small frame. As odd as this all was, the bottom line sounded as natural as they came. "That's perfect. I suppose he planned us being together, too?"   
  
Yuki shook his head, sending strands of short, white hair into his face. "No, not at all, though… he did at least think we'd be friends."   
  
"Ah, well, I guess I still owe the guy a 'thank you', wouldn't you say?" He nuzzled his nose into Yuki's hair and earned a few of Yuki's giggles.   
  
"I guess so." Anything else he would have said was lost as Touya drew him up again, this time canopying him with his new wings as Yuki made soft sighing noises as they kissed.   
  


***

  
Over two months he'd been dead, he discovered. As fortune turned out, he'd gotten back just a week before Yuki's birthday, though the best he could get out of Yuki was "You're all the present I need". Not only was that tiring after a while, but it was completely unhelpful. Other than that, Yuki was simply acting odd and Touya didn't have the slightest guess as to why. At first he'd pawned it off on Yuki just adjusting to having him back after loosing him for so long, but he didn't think that was it. That was more him crying whenever he entered a room that Touya was in. No, the oddity was better described as nervousness. He was constantly straightening his glasses, stumbling over words, and backpedaling when he said something he thought he shouldn't. Touya loved Yuki desperately but he was beginning to wonder.  
  
A number possibilities came to mind, none were very good. Best reason he could think of was maybe Yuki had let him go already and moved on with his life, so he felt guilty… The other side of the coin was so bad only now after days and days of being back was he able to follow the thought through: Yuki had cheated on him.   
  
Well, no, that wasn't fair and he knew it. If Yuki had been with someone there was no way he could call it cheating; he'd been dead. They'd had a service, for gods' sake and scattered his ashes (he was told it had been very nice and lots of people had cried and that was kind of nice to hear); if Yuki shared a night with someone else, he had no right to be hurt. Though… what if it hadn't just been for _one_ night? What then? For his whole short life he'd never had anyone but Touya, so what selection had he had in choosing who he loved? None, really. He'd said he loved him, but that after Touya had wasted years with him being indecisive only to die and abandon him. His being dead may have forced Yuki to talk to someone else, find someone else, someone who didn't take years to finally kiss him. Someone who would take the chance and make him happy… Of course now Touya was back, and Yuki probably didn't know what to do. He no doubt felt too guilty to tell him that he had someone else.  
He didn't want to believe that that was it, but the worst of Yuki's nervousness seemed to come to a head at night.   
  
Desperate was the word for it, the way he kissed him at night, as if he absolutely had to or… Or, was what Touya couldn't get, but he'd seen tears in Yuki's eyes enough times, especially at night to know they weren't the happy ones he shed nearly as often. They only slept together now; when he was like this Touya wouldn't go any further. The two times they'd made love since his return, Touya had felt like Yuki was… trying to make Touya happy… trying to get some affection before it was over? He didn't know. All he knew was that he didn't like being with Yuki like that, it seemed like he was taking advantage of him. Yuki was hurt by this, he knew it, but Touya also asked constantly what was wrong and got replied with "nothing". He was at the end of his rope on this and he was about to outright confront him about it. Tonight.   
  
He had steeled himself to corner Yuki and demand to know what was going on tonight. His father and sister was going to a play of her's later (him being dead, he couldn't exactly be seen in public), so they'd be alone to figure things out. Worrying and hesitating wasn't coming into play this time, he'd spent too much time doing that. Touya was mulling over this as he came down the stairs, stretching his arms and enjoying having his body back (he'd taken three days to learn how to switch), when he heard the sounds of his father and Yuki in the kitchen. He barely stopped himself from rounding the corner when he heard them. "You can't keep this up, Yukito. You have to tell him. This is tearing you both apart, I can feel the tension between you two."  
  
There was a pause before Yuki replied. "I know… I just… I just can't say it. What will he say? What will he do...?"   
  
"You're being ridiculous about this, he isn't going to care, just tell him."   
  
"No, no, no… he _will_ care, I know he will." Touya could hear Yuki begin to pace. "He didn't fall in love with Yue, he fell in love with Yuki. He won't want me." Touya leaned closer as he heard this.   
  
"Yukito… He adores you. He would never just throw you away. Take off those glasses and tell him the truth. He loves you, he'll be happy you're finally whole… really."   
  
He could hear Yuki start to sniffle in the other room and he just shook his head. "I can't loose him, I just can't."   
  
"You won't, I promise." Yuki was crying again as his father tried to comfort him. "I promise."   
  


***

  
"Have fun!" Yuki called to his father as he left for the play and shut the door. Touya watched from the stairs, working hard to keep the smile from his face. He'd merged with Yue while he'd been gone, that was the big secret. It was laughable that Yuki had ever dreamed that he'd leave him because of this. Certainly he wouldn't be exactly as he was, maybe mannerisms would shift a bit, and he now had all of Yue's memories, not to mention that he didn't need any glasses anymore. It was an adjustment, but he'd never give him up over that.  
  
He'd felt giddy with relief ever since hearing them talking, knowing that Yuki wasn't thinking of leaving him or had even slept with someone else while he'd been gone. It had taken real effort not to run in and tackle him right then and there, but someone how he'd restrained himself and had been waiting impatiently for his dad to leave.   
  
"So… looks like we're on our own for the evening," he stated off handedly, stepping down to the floor.   
  
"Yeah…" Yuki said uneasily, as skittish as his namesake. "Why don't I get us something to snack on?" he asked, heading past him into the kitchen, but Touya suddenly grabbed him and pinned him against the wall.   
  
"Why don't you… not…?" he countered, leaning in close to his ear. "I like you right… here…" He ran his lips forward along Yuki's jaw line till he reached the front of his face and drew back to look at him; the glazed expression on Yuki's face was enough to make his pulse race. "But… Why don't we get rid of these props?" He pulled Yuki's glasses off and tossed them across the room onto the sofa, as Yuki fruitlessly tried to catch them. "I was never a fan of that cosplay crap." He grinned at Yuki's confusion and kissed him deeply, totally enjoying a kiss for the first time since that first day back.   
  
"To-ya…?" he asked as they released, but Touya continued over him.   
  
"So… Can I still call you Yuki, or do I have to switch to Yue?" Yuki's only response was only to stare open mouthed at his lover and Touya leaned in again to whisper into his ear. "I told you I loved you; why would you ever think that would change? I don't care what you look like or what name you have, or even what memories you have, I fell in love with _you_, not the packaging." As he leaned back again, he was met with Yuki's tear filled eyes. "I love you," he brushed the tears aside. "Never doubt that." He kissed him again tenderly at first and then deeper.   
  
His kiss was matched with a furious passion that caught him off guard at first but he was fast to meet. Still locked in their kiss, their hands wandered; opening shirts and rediscovering flesh they had already gone over quite well, before. Running his kiss down Yuki's neck, he released and picked Yuki up, carrying him upstairs.   
  
As he did, Yuki continued to pull at Touya's shirt, shoving it off his shoulders and tasting the skin now exposed, showing no notice of the trip into the room. Touya kicked the door shut behind them and playfully dropped the small creature onto the bed before him. He had just began to throw off his shirt, when he saw Yuki shift forms to his true form, giving Touya an eyeful of a half dressed angel looking up lustily at him. Pausing a second to enjoy the sight, he threw the shirt aside and followed suit, shifting into his new form and banishing his wings as he stepped up to the bed, unfastening his pants.   
  
Like the feline he'd gained his eyes from, Yuki climbed across the bed and kneeling before his lover he reached up to draw him into an embrace. Eventually they came up for air and Yuki ran his delicate, ivory fingers down his chest as he dropped back down to sit on his knees. His eyes never left Touya and he licked his lips before the velvety voice answered. "I still love to hear you call me 'Yuki'. I don't want that to change, To-ya. I feel at home when I hear that name…" His voice trailed off as he began to kiss along Touya's chest and down his stomach as he finished undoing the rest of his clothes. The breath in Touya's chest got tight as he felt his lover's cool hands pull away the last bit of clothing.  
  


***

  
Swallowing down air like a beached fish, Touya regained enough strength to roll off of him and draw him close, Yuki's arm weakly reaching up to drape across his chest. Touya kissed him tenderly and brushed his hair from his damp forehead. "I love you… You're my whole life."   
  
Yuki smiled up at him, tracing the edge of Touya's face with his finger. "I love you, too. And I'll love you for all the years we have." At his simple words Touya felt a feeling of safety like nothing else and he nuzzled his lover's hair before falling asleep.   
  


***

  
The moon with its twin faces but one form, tumbled through space, and though it was bound to the earth, caught eternally by its pull, it was the moon's pull that send the earth's seas rolling and winds spiraling. It was this movement, scientists now say, that allowed life to begin, turning the earth, firm hard stone and molten fire, to vibrant life.  
  
The moon's pale face, in its austere beauty, smiled down upon the hard earth… and it lived.   
  
  
…He lived.   
  
  
  


***

  
  


Author's Final Notes

  
Hello, and thank you to everyone who actually came back and read the rest of this after I dropped off the map. I hope this thing was in some way worth the aggravation.  
  
Secondly, I wanted to take a few and point out some stuff that may of lost people. I sometimes get obscure on my titles in particular.   
  
The first chapter that I think lost people was 5 – Five. It was a frustrating coinidence that the Chapter I wanted to title "Five" happened to be ther fifth chapter. I didn't chose Five because I couldn't think of anything, I swear. Five is in referance to the five stages of mourning or acceptance of death. Now I know people are gonna get up in arms saying he wasn't dying and be attracted to someone you didn't think you would doesn't equal death, blah, blah, blah. The stages aren't just for physical death but for all sorts of endings, Touya was seeing the death of a lot of areas of his life, marrage, children, a real life, a good chunk of his self identity even.   
  
Next was Cranes. Cranes are important symbol in asian culture and can point to a lot of things. Firstly their attached to snow and all that is Yin (first reason I chose them), secondly there are quite a few stories depictiong them as maidens or goddesses disguised as cranes (one even was about a woman who took the form to avoid the pain of the death of a lover), yet another mask. Cranes also carry wishes, and the dream was definantly a wish. The dream was about a creature wearing a mask to avoid the death of a loved one, tied to the snow, made of the Yin element, who was the deepest wish of someone. Oh and then there's the whole "both are white" thing.   
  
Witching Number. Few people even know what the witching number is. It's 9 or rather thrice, thrice, and thrice again. The first thing Kaho said to Touya was "You see it?", she broke up with him with "Let's break up" and when she saw him again she said "You've grown, Touya". Three words, three times. Also threes occur in other spots in the chapter.   
  
And last but not least, Looking Back. I'm sure people got it, but I was rather pleased the the whole "he's looking back on the entire events" facade when really it was about him looking back to see the truck. Too bad he didn't have his poweres then, he woulda known it was there. :-D  
  
I know the whole truck thing upset a lot of people, a few people even stopped reading apperantly *grumbles*, but if someone breaks a limb and it isn't set it will heal in the wrong way. When this happens the only way to fix the problem is to rebreak the limb so it can be set properly.  
  
All I was doing is breaking a few bones. :)  
  
Thanks for the laughs, everyone its been real.  
  
  



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